


If I could have just a taste of you

by ficforthought



Category: CW Network RPF, Supernatural RPF
Genre: Age Difference, Anal Sex, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Begging, Cock Tease, Cock slut Colin, Colin Ford is a cocktease, Community: spnkink_meme, Consensual Underage Sex, Hurt/Comfort, Infidelity, Jensen is powerless to resist, Love Triangles, M/M, OTP Feels, Older Man/Younger Man, Oral Sex, Pool Table Sex, Rare Pairings, Revenge Sex, Self-Denial, Semi-Public Sex, Soul-Searching
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-07
Updated: 2016-10-03
Packaged: 2018-03-06 14:12:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 22
Words: 73,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3137300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ficforthought/pseuds/ficforthought
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for <a href="http://spnkink-meme.livejournal.com/92073.html?thread=35966377#t35966377">this</a> prompt at the spnkink_meme. "Jensen loves Jared but their relationship has been very rocky for the last year. They've not had sex in months then he comes home to find Jared getting fucked by a stranger. He runs out to the local bar to drown his sorrows only it's daytime and the bar is dead except for a few patrons, the bartender and her underage son, Colin..." </p><p>Title borrowed from "Taste" by Lorna Vallings  https://youtu.be/KHu2ZujrhaQ</p><p>PLEASE NOTE:  this fic has gone way beyond the prompt and took on a life of its own. If you don't like the idea of Jensen/Colin, this is most definitely not the fic for you!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Emmatheslayer](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emmatheslayer/gifts), [rieraclaelin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rieraclaelin/gifts).



> My first meme fill, comments and concrit welcome.
> 
> Tags are for the whole fic, more will be added as the fic progresses. Also I have no idea what Colin Ford's mum is called, if you do, tell me and I can correct it. :)

Jensen pulls his truck into the parking lot, kills the engine and looks up at the window of the apartment he and Jared have shared for almost three years. He'd taken longer than necessary doing the grocery shopping, taken the longest route home all in an attempt to put off the inevitable. He _knows_ it won't solve the problem, he knows that his and Jared's relationship is on the out and that neither of them has the strength to say the words to end it.

They love each other, of that there is no doubt. Jensen loves Jared with his whole being and knowing that Jared feels the same and it still _not working_ is what's killing them. For almost a year now they've been living more like roommates than lovers. They share a bed but haven't done more than spoon in their sleep for months, the act itself more out of habit than intimacy. Jensen sighs at his own cowardice yet again and steadies himself for another probable argument. Perhaps he'll get lucky, perhaps Jared will be at the gym, his second home nowadays.

He finds the door unlocked, meaning Jared's home. At one time he would've dumped the bags and gone to find Jared and kiss him senseless, now he sets to work putting away ingredients for meals that they will either argue about, or eat separately like they have the last few weeks.

He's putting away a pack of Twizzlers when he hears a sharp intake of breath and a long groan. He heads towards the living room and hears a strangled moan, then harsh panting. Fucking typical, Jared's watching porn while Jensen runs errands. Blood starts pumping in his ears at the hypocrisy of it - Jared’s been complaining about them not having sex, yet every time Jensen even tries to kiss him, Jared pulls away saying he's not in the mood. Give him some alone time, though, and he’s obviously in the mood for watching porn. What a tool! Jensen reaches for the door which is stood ajar, ready to confront his so called lover when he hears it,

"God, yes, just like that...mmm, yeah, fuck me...harder, do it harder."

There's no mistaking Jared's voice, he's close to coming, Jensen can tell. He pushes the door open expecting to find Jared on the sofa, his hand around his cock, pumping it faster as he gets closer and closer. Instead he's faced with the sight of Jared _bent over_ the sofa being fucked with brutal thrusts by a guy Jensen doesn't recognise. Jared is clinging onto the back of the sofa to stay upright, screwing his eyes up momentarily before his face goes slack as he shoots his load all over the cushions.

Jensen’s not sure exactly what sound comes out of his mouth but it’s enough to have Jared’s head snap up and look right at him. Mystery guy hasn’t heard him though, too busy chasing his own pleasure. He makes a protesting noise as Jared lurches forward, away from the cock just buried in him. Finally mystery guy looks up. following Jared’s eyeline.

“Jensen,” Jared whispers in shock.

Jensen’s heart feels like it’s trying to escape from his chest and he and feels light headed and sick all at the same time. He hears the sound of plastic creaking and glances down to see that he has a death grip on the door handle. He distantly feels a wet warmth run down the other hand but he can’t bring himself to move to see what it is.

He watches as Jared scrambles to pull his jeans back up and suddenly Jensen’s furious - neither man is undressed, he notices now, they just have their jeans down enough to fuck. The only word that comes to mind is the one he says around a lump in his throat. “ _Why_?”

“I’m so sorry Jensen, I can explain,” Jared stammers.

“Explain?” he says with exasperation, _Explain_? I think I can judge for myself exactly what was going on. What’s there to explain?” He turns and heads for the front door, almost forgetting to pick his keys up until the last minute. This gives Jared a chance to catch him up and Jensen feels the weight of Jared’s hand on his shoulder. He pulls away like he’s been burned, “Don’t you _dare_ touch me, you fucking bastard,” he snarls.

Tears are running down Jared’s face now, “Jensen, _please_ , don’t go, let’s talk about this,” he sobs.

“You think tears are going to change the fact that you just fucked someone else in _our_ home?” Jared opens his mouth to speak again but Jensen cuts him off, “Don’t, just don’t say one more fucking word.” He pulls open the front door and Jared - of course - can’t keep his mouth shut, babbling words Jensen doesn’t listen to. He whips round and punches Jared square in the jaw, knocking him firmly on his ass. He slams the door on his way out and doesn’t look back.

§ § § § § § §

He races out of the parking lot, he’s sure the truck left tire tracks behind. He doesn’t look in the mirror, he doesn’t care about anything but getting away from there. He drives too fast, his mind filled with the images he’s just seen. He’s beyond hurt that Jared would cheat on him, and he’s still furious. He needs to go somewhere he can calm down and think. There’s only one place he can think of where he knows Jared won’t find him. There’s a bar across town called Ford’s that he used to go to with Chris after work. It’s months since he was there last, not because the place is bad, quite the opposite in fact. It’s normally a busy place but not overly crowded, has a good choice of cold beers on tap, a couple of pool tables and one other thing that holds an endless appeal for Jensen. That appeal is why he’s not been back there in so long because the guilt of it rests heavy in his stomach.

Jensen enters the bar and takes in the smell of old wood, stale beer, fresh coffee and greasy food. He’s missed that smell. There are a few familiar faces deep in conversation at one end of the bar, a trio sat in a booth eating burgers, but other than that the place is empty. Jensen looks at his watch and see’s that it’s a little passed 3pm, which explains it, he thinks. He takes a seat at the other end of the bar, he’s here to drink, not to talk. The bartender, Carol he thinks, smiles wide as she approaches.

“Heeyy, stranger, where ya been hiding?” she asks as she pours him a mug of his favourite beer.

“Oh you know, been busy,” Jensen replies, vaguely, mustering as much of a smile as he can right now.

“Are you meeting Chris?”

“Not today, sweetheart, no. Can I get a couple of bourbon chasers with that?”

She smiles a concerned smile but has the good grace not to pry, “Sure you can, honey,” She’s filled one glass and is half way through the second when there’s a thumping sound from behind the bar - the stairs to the apartment upstairs, Jensen realises - and she turns, a softer smile on her face when she the source of the noise comes through the door, “You remember my son, Colin, right Jensen?”

 _Oh fuck!_ Jensen quickly picks up the full shot glass and downs the contents before flicking his eyes over to Colin, AKA the reason Jensen made himself stop coming to the bar. The kid has shot but by a good few inches and his shoulders are broader now. He’s wearing a t-shirt that’s getting just a little too small for him, showing that his arms and chest are also maturing. His jeans hang low on slim hips, showing just a hint of the waistband of his underwear where the shirt has ridden up as Colin reaches for a glass from the shelf above the bar. He’s smiling brightly at Jensen, the kind of smile you usually see on a kid’s face when they open Christmas gifts, and Jensen’s stomach burns in a way that has nothing to do with the whiskey he’s just swallowed.

“Hi Jensen, long time no see,” Colin says, and leans over the bar, resting his weight on his forearms. He’s almost within touching distance and Jensen’s pulse starts racing without permission at the thought that he could casually move his hand a few inches to the right and feel the heat coming from Colin’s skin, “you look good,” the teen says with a wink. He licks his lower lip and gently bites it as his eyes flick over Jensen’s face and chest.

Jensen realises after a moment that he’s said nothing, and has probably been staring, “Uh, hey Colin. You look... _fucking hot_ , says a voice in his head, “...well.”

“Don’t make a nuisance of yourself,” Carol says, patting Colin on the back before going to serve another customer.

“Yes, Mom,” Colin calls after her. He turns back to Jensen, smirks and nods over to the pool tables, “so...do you wanna play with me, Jensen?”

Jensen is so taken aback by the question and the sultry tone that he chokes on his beer. Colin doesn’t wait for an answer, he just walks slowly over to one of the tables and leans against it, waiting and looking at Jensen with hopeful eyes.

Despite the events of not even an hour ago, despite how angry and hurt he feels over what Jared did, he looks over at Colin, the star of the majority of his own jerk off fantasies for months now, and thinks, _fuck, yes!_.


	2. Chapter 2

It takes more effort than Colin anticipated to keep eye contact with Jensen after he’d asked the question. He’s kicking himself, was he too obvious? _Of course you were, you moron!_ he thinks. He’s trying to relax, trying not to let it show that his heart is pounding, his palms are sweaty and he feels a little dizzy with excitement and with fear. He didn’t think he’d see Jensen again and now he’s terrified that the man will laugh at him and turn away, leaving the teen with the same crushed feelings as before. He pushed it too far that last time, pressing himself close to Jensen and getting hard at the older man’s proximity, causing Jensen to rush out of the bar with a flustered “I’m late, I gotta go, sorry!”

He watches as Jensen chokes on his drink, Colin’s body moving forward slightly as he wants to go and make sure the man’s OK, but that would just make him look even more desperate. He covers the movement by turning and pulling the triangle from it’s cradle, taking a token from his pocket and letting the coloured balls out of their tunnel and racking them. He’s more relieved than he’d ever admit to hear footsteps behind him, followed by the clunk of Jensen’s glass being set down on the small table next to them. He chances a look up at the man then and he’s almost certain that Jensen looks as nervous as Colin feels. 

“You wanna break?” he asks, trying to keep his voice casual.

Jensen shakes his head, already chalking a cue and looking for all the world like he’d rather be somewhere - anywhere - else right now. 

Colin slowly chalks his own cue, using the time to watch Jensen slip off his jacket, watching the play of his muscles under the shirt he's wearing and wishes he could see and touch them. Knowing that he can't drag it out too long, Colin takes his shot and sends the coloured balls skimming across the table. He fails to sink any, but Jensen doesn't even seem to have noticed, he's busy frowning at his phone. 

"Everything OK?" 

Jensen looks up then, and Colin can tell the man's unsure whether he wants to speak or not. Instead he sighs, stuffs his phone back in his pocket and picks up his cue. "I'm in a bar, drinking shots in the afternoon, kid, things have been better," he sinks two balls before he speaks again, "I just needed some space, some...shit happened at home."

"I'm sorry," Colin says, and he genuinely is. He doesn't know Jensen well enough to read him fully but it's clear he's trying not to think about whatever it is, and by the hurt look on the older man's beautiful face, failing miserably.

Jensen shrugs, glancing up at Colin as he leans over the table and lines up his next shot, "Not your problem, kid, don't worry about it." 

"I'm still sorry," Jensen gives him a half smile but says nothing else so Colin follows his lead. He's more than a little curious to know what's going on, what's brought Jensen back here, but the fact is that Jensen _is_ here, so don’t push it, Ford.

They play the rest of the game in silence, Colin winning easily. Jensen's mind is far away, they both know it. His phone has been buzzing almost constantly and now it's starting to get on Colin's nerves as well as Jensen's. Each time it goes off, Jensen's frown deepens and his jaw clenches tighter. It makes Colin's chest hurt, seeing him like that and he wishes he could do something to help. He decides that the least he can do is try and lighten the mood, "Hey, I'm gonna grab a Coke while you set the next one up. Maybe this time you can play less like a girl!" he winks and walks off to the bar. 

He fills a glass with Coke then checks that his mom isn't paying him any attention before he snags a bottle of Jack and takes it with him. Jensen is on the phone so Colin busies himself by racking the balls, the bottle of Jack next to him. He doesn't mean to listen, but Jensen's tone is clipped and angry and it echoes in the space they're in.

"Listen, Jared, if I wanted to hear what you have to say, I'd have answered the _first fifty fucking times_ you called. You want someone to talk to, go have a chat with your new _fuck buddy_!" He all but throws his phone on the table, leaning over it, one hand on the table itself, the other pinching the bridge of his nose. He sighs, turning back towards the pool table and startles when he sees Colin, "Shit, I didn't hear you come back."

"You were," Colin gestures to the phone on the table, feeling uncomfortable, "busy, I didn't want to interrupt." He watches as Jensen just stands there, obviously torn over whether to reply. Colin takes the decision away from him by picking up the Jack and filling Jensen's glass. Jensen doesn't move so Colin lifts the glass and offers it to him, "You looked like you could use it, before, now I _know_ you could. Drink up!" Still no movement from the older man, so Colin shrugs and starts raising the glass to his own lips. That gets a reaction.

"The fuck are you doing?" he hisses, grabbing Colin's wrist to stop him drinking, "your mom will kill me!"

Jensen's fingers, hot and tight around his wrist makes the teen gasp. The sensation of it goes straight to his cock and he can't help wondering what Jensen's hand would feel like around it. He hears himself moan a little and Jensen drops his grip like he’s been burned. _Shit, I've scared him off again_ , he thinks. Jensen doesn't run, though, he takes a step back and then pulls the glass from Colin's hand, downing the amber liquid it quickly.

"My mom would kill _me_ if she knew half the shit I got up to," he says, trying to break the awkwardness. He huffs out a relieved breath when Jensen barks out a laugh, then feels the grin spreading across his face as he joins in.

"I'm not even going to ask," Jensen says, shaking his head and smiling. It’s a good look on him, and there’s a warmth in Colin’s belly again that he gets from just being around Jensen.

 

§ § § § § § §

It’s two games each now, and Colin can see that Jensen has begun to relax with a little more help from his old buddy, Jack. It’s probably obvious that the teen’s trying everything he can think of to keep Jensen’s mind off whatever’s going on at home, but neither of them are acknowledging it, right up until Jensen’s phone goes off again.

“Do you think you should answer it?” 

Jensen sighs and goes to look at the display. His shoulders tense and that tells Colin this can’t be good. He watches as Jensen swipes the screen to reject the call, muttering under his breath. Colin’s mouth, as it seems to more and more lately, engages before his brain, “I know it’s none of my business, but whoever he is, he’s a dick.” Jensen frowns at him but says nothing. Colin feels now like if he doesn’t keep talking Jensen’s definitely going to walk out. He reaches for the full shot glass on the table, side steps Jensen when he tries to take it away and swallows it down. It burns and it tastes foul, but it gives him the courage to carry on. He’s opened his mouth now, so he has to get it out, “you know I heard what you said, and if this Jared is with you and fucking someone else, then he _is_ a dick! If you were mine I’d never even look at anyone else, let alone fuck them. I’d be doing everything I could to make you happy, in and out of the bedroom, and… and …” now he’s at a loss, he doesn’t know what to say. He slowly meets Jensen’s eyes, looking up through his lashes. Jensen’s face is flushed, his neck also red where the top few buttons of his shirt are open. He’s breathing a little quicker, and swallowing a little harder than before. His voice is gravelly when he speaks.

“No, it’s not any of your business,” he pauses and his shoulders sag a little, “and he’s not a dick,” Jensen rubs his forehead like he’s got a headache, “well actually he is, but he didn’t used to be. I don’t know what happened, I just…trust me, kid, you have no idea what you’re talking about ”

Anger surges through Colin, “I’m _not_ a kid,” he snaps, “stop calling me that’, I’m not some scrawny little ten year old. I’ve seen the way you look at me, Jensen.” A look of shock crosses Jensen’s face then and he’s about to argue, so Colin cuts him off before he can, moving closer to the man so that the conversation is kept as private as possible, “I’ve seen you watching me when you think I’m not looking. You want me, and you know you shouldn’t and that scares you, but we both know it doesn’t stop you looking. And I _want_ you to look, Jensen,” he takes a deep breath and leans closer to Jensen. He can smell the whiskey on his breath, see the moisture on his lips, “I want you to do more than look...”

A loud crash in the background makes them both jump, they turn around and see Carol picking up plates off the floor. She’s facing away from them, talking to a customer, oblivious to everything else going on.

When Colin turns back, Jensen has moved away and is reaching for his coat and phone at the same time. “NO”, Colin shouts, louder than he intended to, and Jensen shushes him, “please don’t go, talk to me.” 

“What do you want me to say, Colin, huh?” Jensen scoffs. He looks scared and angry, and is wobbling a little from beer and Jack, and no food.. “Jesus, I gotta get out of here.”

Colin’s angry now. He _knows_ he didn’t imagine Jensen standing closer and closer to him while they’ve been playing pool because he could feel the man’s body heat on his hypersensitive teenage skin . He _knows_ he didn’t imagine Jensen staring at his ass when he bent over to take his shots, because Colin made damn sure to take his time about it and raise his ass up higher than he needed to, just to see if Jensen’s eyes would follow. He _knows_ Jensen’s been staring at his lips because every time Colin’s licked them, the older man has looked away with a pained groan. He’s determined to get Jensen to admit it. He puts his hand firmly in the centre of the Jensen’s chest and pushes so that he’s backed up against the wall, then crowds against him, pushing their bodies together. 

Jensen grabs both of Colin’s shoulders and pushes but Colin pushes back, using his newfound extra height to his advantage. “Colin, please, I have to go.”

The teen wants to scream and shout, throw a tantrum at the injustice of it, but then he’d be giving Jensen another excuse - this time a valid one - for calling him a child. Instead he lowers both his hands and rests them on Jensen’s hips. Their chests are still pressed together and Colin feels the sharp intake of breath. Jensen starts squirming, but that only spurs the teen on. 

He pushes his hips in tighter and he can _feel_ that Jensen’s just as hard as he is. They’re both panting now. “No Jensen, you _don’t_ have to go. What is there at home? Someone who claims to love you, but cheats on you?” he knows he could get smacked in the mouth any second but he’s been wanting Jensen since the first time he saw him, and he has a point to prove, “tell me you don’t want me. Look me in the eye right now and say I don’t turn you on, say that you don’t want to bend me over that table and fuck me into next week…” 

Jensen opens and closes his mouth over and over, his eyes pleading with Colin to stop, not to make him say it. He closes his eyes and a tear runs down his face, and Colin’s heart breaks a little. He lifts a hand and brushes the tear away then moves some of his weight off Jensen. When Jensen opens his eyes again, there’s resignation written all over his face. “I can’t,” he whispers. Colin takes a step away, he’s being rejected _again_ and he can’t look the man in the eye. 

Colin’s startled when Jensen grabs his t-shirt and pulls him closer, “I can’t say that because it’s not true.” The teen can barely believe it, his heart starts thudding in his chest from fear and hope. He grabs onto Jensen’s own t-shirt and looks deep into his beautiful green eyes, before smashing their lips together. Jensen kisses him back for only a few seconds before pulling away. “No, wait, we can’t...you’re too young...and Jared...so angry”, he stammers.

Colin cups Jensen’s jaw and brushes a thumb over his lips. “I’d hoped to be something more than a revenge fuck, Jensen, but if this is the only way I get you, then so be it.” He grabs Jensen’s hand and pulls him to the back of the room where it’s darkest, and as private as they’re going to get.


	3. Chapter 3

Jensen lets Colin lead him further into the room. He feels so many things right now he doesn’t even think he could name half of the emotions swirling around. He’s had too much to drink but he’s not drunk, he’s aware of what he’s doing, of what he’s _about to do_ if he follows Colin’s lead. Now Jensen’s admitted out loud that he wants Colin, he doesn’t have the energy to fight any more.

For months he’s been trying to tell himself that his attraction to the teen was because he and Jared’s sex life was non-existent, and Jensen was just horny. Colin had been giving him heated looks and Jensen was only human, it was nice to have someone look at him that way again. The first time he’d wrapped his hand around his dick and pictures of Colin came into his mind, Jensen was horrified with himself. He’d pulled his hand out of his shorts and not touched himself again in weeks.

The next time, he found himself picturing Colin doing the same thing and wondereing how he likes to jerk off, whether he likes to do it fast or slow, if he uses lube or not, whether he likes play with his slit or his balls. That was the first time Jensen came all over himself to the thought of Colin, and he threw up minutes later from the guilt and shame he felt. Soon after that though, Colin found his way into Jensen’s dreams in all kinds of scenarios, each one filthier than the next. When he woke up sweating, panting and hard as nails, it never took long to bring himself off. He tried many times to picture Jared instead if he wasn’t there, he even tried to wake Jared up so they could come together but Jared always said no.

In the darkness and in his own bed, the guilt Jensen felt eventually lessened and he rationalised that it was just fantasy, he wasn’t doing anything wrong, he’d never lay a hand on Colin. He’d become comfortable with that, it was his own personal dirty little secret and no-one would ever know. He’d gotten used to keeping his looks discreet, he never let his eyes linger too long on Colin, though that had started becoming more and more difficult once he realised Colin was looking back - a lot. So the kid had a crush, it’s nothing Jensen couldn’t handle...right? Everything was fine up until _that_ night.

He’d met Chris at Ford’s after work as they’d done regularly for months, and everything seemed normal. It was busier than usual, a party of some kind was in so the staff were rushed off their feet. Carol had Colin helping out around the place, clearing tables, collecting empty glasses and keeping the supply of sodas and bar snacks topped up. Jensen was waiting to order one last round. He hadn’t planned on staying late, he’d even invited Jared to join them even though the chances were slim. Jared hadn’t replied to two texts, so uck it, Jensen thought, I’m having another drink, tonight’s fight can wait. The crowd at the bar were getting rowdy and there was some pushing and shoving. Someone slammed into him side on and Jensen managed to keep himself upright but was jostled and ended up with his back to the bar with a body pushed up against his chest - that body turned out to be Colin. Instinctively, Jensen grabbed the boy by the shoulders, making sure he was upright and OK. Colin was steadying himself when the crowd pushed again, this time forcing Colin’s weight against him. Jensen felt the teen grab onto his hips to steady himself, and that’s where it all went wrong.

Colin’s body heat was seeping into Jensen’s chest and belly, the kid was flushed and sweaty from the heat in the bar and as he went to push away, Jensen felt it. Colin was hard against Jensen’s hip. They looked at each other, Colin’s big eyes looking both horrified and hopeful as he swallowed, licked his lips and muttered “Sorry.” Jensen’s pulse sky rocketed and he was mortified to feel that he was getting hard himself. How could he not be, when he had the star of his fantasies plastered against him, hard, and looking so vulnerable and fucking hot all at the same time? He wanted nothing more in that moment to pull Colin tighter against him and kiss him while they rutted against each other. As soon as that realisation hit, Jensen almost pushed Colin over in his haste to get away. “I’m late, I gotta go, sorry!” he muttered as he ran out of the door. He hadn’t been back to the bar since.

Colin’s voice brought him from his memories, “Jensen, you still with me?”

He swallows and looks into Colin’s eyes. He sees determination in them as well as hope and lust. The last is what drive him forward, pushing Colin against the pool table and pressing up against him. He takes the teen’s angular, beautiful face into his hands and kisses him. Colin’s lips are so hot against his, and it’s amazing. Jensen deepens the kiss and his lust spikes at the groan Colin lets out, opening his mouth for Jensen’s tongue. The kiss is wet and messy and _perfect_. Jensen wonders how many times Colin’s been kissed, because this is no beginner’s kiss, but he can’t tear himself away from those luscious pink lips long enough to ask. It’s difficult enough to pull away for breath, especially when he can feel Colin’s hands scrambling at his back, trying to pull Jensen closer, their hips rocking slowly against each other. Eventually Jensen has to pull away because he’s dizzy from lack of oxygen. When he opens his eyes, he’s met with something straight out of one of his dreams. Colin’s face and neck are flushed and sweaty, he’s gasping for breath, mouth hanging open, lips swollen and shiny with their shared saliva. His eyelids flutter and when he opens them to look at Jensen, they’re practically all pupil.

In that moment, Jensen realises that it’s not just his lack of a sex life at home that had him paying attention to Colin, it’s that the kid is smart, funny and oozing sex appeal. He’s gorgeous, and Jensen _wants_ , “Jesus fuck,” he pants before capturing Colin’s lips again. He lets his hands roam over the teens chest, feeling budded nipples through his shirt. He gently pulls one to see what kind of reaction it will get and Colin nearly bucks off the table. Jensen breaks their kiss, he has to see this, and slowly reaches under Colin’s shirt and circles the nipple before tugging on it. Colin lets out a noise that’s part squeak, part groan and part sob. It’s so delicious that Jensen does it again, harder this time and feels his dick throb and leak into his shorts at the sound and sight of it. He wants, no he _needs_ to see and feel Colin’s reaction when Jensen wraps his lips around it instead of fingers. He bends his head and starts to push the shirt up but Colin stops him.

“What?” he asks, puzzled, Colin was the one pushing for this to happen. He looks up and Colin’s eyes are shut tight, his jaw clenched and he’s breathing heavily through his nose. His blunt nails are digging into Jensen’s shoulder blade, and he looks in pain. “Are you OK? What’s going -”, and then it hits him...Colin’s trying not to come. A part of Jensen wants Colin to come so they can start all over again (thank God for teenage recovery times) while another part of him wants to drag it out and see how long the teen can last. He’s not aware he’s holding his breath until his lungs start burning. Eventually he breathes out, as does Colin. He relaxes the grip he has on Jensen’s shoulder and opens his eyes. Jensen kisses him once, then kisses his sweaty forehead. “OK?”

Colin’s smile is full of embarrassment, but he nods, “Yeah, that was close. Sorry, I...you… _God Jensen_ ,” he whispers before resting his head in the crook of Jensen’s neck. Jensen wraps his arms around the teen, breathing in his scent, rich and warm and addictive. Colin’s trembling in his arms.

“Hey, it’s OK, let me,” he says softly, unbuckling Colin’s belt, unzipping and sliding his hand inside to rub his cock. Even through the cotton of his boxers Colin’s shaft is red hot and Jensen feels the damp patch where he’s been steadily leaking. He trails his fingers up to the tip and to the waistband of Colin’s boxers but before he can slide inside, long, insistent fingers grip his wrist and stop him.

“No,” he pants, “wanna last as long as I can, Jensen,” he looks away, sadness in his eyes, “this might be my only chance.” Jensen’s chest hurts at the look on the teen’s face. He wants to promise Colin this won’t be his only chance, but the truth is he doesn’t know if that’s true. Colin seems to get that and his sad smiles turns devious before he sinks to his knees. “Turn around,” he commands and Jensen is helpless to disobey. They maneuver so that Jensen’s lower back is against the edge of the pool table and he spreads his legs wide enough for Colin to slip between them. He reaches for his belt, and Colin slaps his hand away with a sharp, “ _no_!” that leaves no room for argument.

“Ow, you fucker, that hurt!”

Colin just smirks and sets to work freeing Jensen’s cock. He takes his damn time about it, kissing the hot skin above Jensen’s jeans as he undoes the belt. He trails kisses down every inch of skin he’s freeing as the zipper is opened and then finally dips his hand into Jensen’s boxers and pull out his hot, aching flesh. The cool air is a relief and Jensen feels like sobbing, he feels like he’s been hard for hours. He looks down as Colin grips him firmly and gives a few experimental tugs. Just that touch is heaven and Jensen let out a loud moan. Colin shushes him, but doesn’t stop his ministrations. He slows a little and then Jensen feels a hot wetness at the end of his cock. He looks down and almost loses it right there. Colin is gently lapping at the slit, his strokes getting wider as he broadens his tongue, before swirling it around the entire head. He sucks it gently into his mouth before pulling back. He looks up again and Jensen sees nervousness all over his face.

“First time?” Colin nods. Jensen reaches out and runs a hand through Colin’s hair, hair that he’d been dying to get his hands into, and the teen leans into the touch, “You don’t have to,” Jensen says and smiles reassuringly. He really hopes Colin carries on but he’s not going to force him to do anything he doesn’t want to. Colin smiles back and shakes his head, licking his lips before taking Jensen’s cock slowly back into his mouth. He goes a little deeper down this time and Jensen can’t help the way his hips jerk forward, shoving more of his aching shaft into Colin’s glorious mouth. Colin coughs a little but doesn’t pull off, “Sorry,” Jensen says but he’s not sure he’s been heard. The look of concentration on the teen’s face is slightly disturbing, but it soon relaxes as he gets a steady rhythm between hand and mouth.

Jensen allows himself to relax then, and enjoy the sensation. Colin’s mouth looks and feels amazing. It’s even better than Jensen imagined during any of his jerk off sessions because although he’d pictured Colin down on his knees, full lips stretched wide around Jensen’s cock, he’d never imagined the look of pure bliss on the teen’s face or the sounds that he’s making. Each time he sinks down onto Jensen’s cock, he lets out a small moans like he’s eating the best ice cream he’s ever tasted. He fists both hands in Colin’s floppy hair and guides him at the speed he needs, and as Jensen tugs the soft strands a little harder, Colin whimpers as well. There’s saliva everywhere, it’s running down Colin’s chin and he looks so _debauched_ that Jensen knows he won’t last much longer. “‘m gettin’ so close,” he drawls, hips jerking faster as he chases his orgasm. He never wants it to end, Colin’s mouth is made for him, all wet, slick, hot and eager, but it’s getting too much. He can hear himself grunting and he’s reaching the point of no return. Suddenly Colin takes his hand away leaving cold air behind but before Jensen has time to protest, he feels Colin pressing on one of the hands in his hair, encouraging the older man to control the pace completely. Colin grips both of Jensen’s hips and soon he’s scrabbling at the skin as Jensen starts fucking Colin’s mouth in earnest. His skin feels like it’s on fire, there’s sweat running down his face and neck and the hot, wet pressure around his cock is almost too much...he’s almost there and he wants to look Colin in the eye as he comes down his throat.

He pulls Colin’s head back a little, and the scrambling at his hips turns into a sharp pain where Colin’s nails are sinking into flesh. He looks down at the teen whose eyes are rolling back in his head and he screams around Jensen’s cock as he comes in his jeans. The sight of it along with the vibration of Colin’s scream tips Jensen over the edge. He feels like his whole body is bursting through his dick, it’s almost painful. After his initial release he slips from Colin’s slack mouth and the rest of his come streaks across his face, giving Jensen a powerful sense of ownership, “Mine,” he thinks.

All of a sudden his legs feel like jelly and he feels lightheaded. He slides down to the floor next to Colin who’s still catching his breath. His eyes flicker open as Jensen brushes sweaty hair from his forehead, feeling the heat pouring off his skin. Colin has a thin streak of come from under his eye to the side of his nose, and Jensen swipes at it with his thumb, then kisses Colin’s fevered skin, finally placing a soft kiss to his lips.

They sit there panting, just looking at each other until their breathing returns to normal. Colin leans forward, sliding his hand up Jensen’s thigh and dips his head. He doesn’t say anything and now Jensen is starting to feel sick, is that what Colin wanted? Is he regretting it now? He sits up and pulls the teen closer, lifting his chin so that their eyes meet. He can’t work out the look Colin’s giving him, it’s kind of sad, but happy at the same time, it’s a little nervous, maybe and it’s giving Jensen butterflies.

“Was...was it OK?” he whispers eventually.

Jensen can’t help but smile. He reaches out and sweeps his thumb over Colin’s bottom lip then kisses him softly again. His own lips are sore from the bruising kisses they shared earlier and Colin’s must be even more so, judging by the heat still coming off them, “More than,” he whispers back.

Colin’s pleased smile hits Jensen right in the chest. He realises in that moment that he’s missed making someone smile like that. His mind briefly shows him an image of Jared and one of his carefree smiles from long ago, and his chest tightens. He swallows around the lump that’s suddenly in his throat and pushes the thought away. He came here to get away from what Jared did, this is about him...and now, completely unintentionally, about Colin.

Something on his face must’ve changed because Colin’s frowning at him. He opens his mouth to speak but then a look of disgust takes over his face as he sits back down. “Ew,” he says, and Jensen can’t help but laugh, he was a teenager once and remembers that while coming in your pants can be hot at the time, the resulting mess, isn’t. Colin wags an accusatory finger at him, “this is all your fault.”

More laughter bubbles up from inside Jensen’s chest, which makes tucking himself back into his boxers and jeans a little difficult but he does it. Once that’s done, he picks himself up off the floor and dusts his jeans off. The day is taking it’s toll on Jensen, between everything at home, the alcohol he’s drank and the mind blowing orgasm, he’s worn out. “I need coffee and food, and lots of it!”

Colin’s trying to tidy up his hair, to no avail, Jensen’s pulled it every which way. “I need a shower” he says before going quiet, just looking at Jensen as if he has something else he wants to say.

Suddenly Jensen’s uncomfortable. He’s never had just a hook up before, he’s a relationship kinda guy, so he’s not sure what the protocol is. Should he leave now? He stuffs his hands in his pockets, just to have something to do with them, because he’s starting to feel like he wants to hug that forlorn look off Colin’s face, “So, I should probably go, huh?” he says at the same time Colin speaks,

“Stay for dinner?”

Jensen laughs nervously, he really wasn’t expecting that, “Uh, I don’t…,” he probably _should_ leave, go to another bar, check into a hotel, maybe, but right at that moment he doesn’t want to, “I could,” he gestures around the bar, “order here, you could join me?”

Colin looks relieved, and Jensen breathes a sigh of relief. If the teen can be a man about this whole situation, so can he. He watches as Colin takes a few steps towards him until he’s close enough to Jensen’s ear to whisper, “Or you could come upstairs, fuck me and then we can have dinner.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> JSYK. I haven't forgotten about Jared, we'll be hearing from him again soon!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time for Jared's PoV!

Jared’s pacing the apartment, desperately trying to calm down enough to think straight. _Of course_ Jensen’s ignoring all but that one of his calls and all of his texts, why wouldn’t he? “God, I’m such and _IDIOT_!” he screams to the room at large. He’s feeling sick, there’s so much adrenalin rushing around his body from shock at being caught, guilt at having been such a dick in the first place, and from worry about where Jensen’s gone and what he’s doing.  
  
He takes a deep breath through his nose, feeling his lungs fill and holds it in until they burn. He slowly breathes out, trying to release some of the tension in his muscles like they taught him in therapy when he had panic attacks in his teens. How he’s avoided one now, he doesn’t know, he just knows that he needs to get a handle on his rising stress levels before one can take hold.  
  
The urge to call Jensen again is bubbling up, his fingers almost physically itching to pick up the phone from where it’s lying on the kitchen table. He knows it’s pointless, Jensen needs time to calm down, he always does after a fight, but this...this isn’t any ordinary fight. Jared wipes his sweaty palms on his jeans before reaching for his phone. It’s a last resort but he doesn’t know what else to do. He nervously waits for the call to connect, swallowing hard when it’s answered.  
  
“Chris, hey, it’s Jared. Listen, have you heard from Jensen?” he know his voice sounds croaky and more than a little panicked. There’s a delay on the other end before Chris speaks.  
  
“Jared, hey, man. Ah no actually, I haven’t spoken to him for a couple weeks now. Is everything OK?”  
  
Jared can hear the concern in the man’s voice and knows he should say something to reassure Jensen’s best friend, but he can’t form the words. “Uh, no,” he says, honestly, his shoulders sagging as he says the words, “we had a big fight and he walked out.”  
  
Chris sighs, “Look I know it’s none of my business but you guys have done nothing _but_ fight for months, what makes this one any different?”  
  
A new lump forms in Jared’s throat and it burns, almost as much as the tears running down his cheeks. “I screwed up, Chris,” he sobs, feeling what little control he has, waivering, “it’s _bad_ , this time.”  
  
“Stay put, I’m coming over.”  
  
Jared stares at the phone after Chris hangs up. He’s not sure whether to be relieved that Chris is on his way and may be able to help; or panic even more that he’s going to have to say the words to explain how bad it is, out loud. He has to tell Chris the truth, he’s been a good friend over the years and Jared knows if he has any hope in recruiting Chris to find Jensen, he’ll have to tell the whole sorry story.  
  
Jared sets about cleaning himself up a little, he splashes cold water from tap on his face, smooths his hair back with wet hands and then stands there watching the water go down the drain as if it may hold the answers about the best way to try and explain. He jumps when the doorbell rings, realising he must’ve been stood there at least fifteen minutes, staring while Chris made his way across town.  
  
He takes another deep breath before opening the door. Chris looks worried, then Jared sees his face change into a shocked kind of puzzlement. “What happened there?” he asks as he raises a hand to Jared’s cheekbone.  
  
It takes a moment for him to realise what Chris means, then it dawns on him. Jared takes a step back to let Chris enter the apartment, “Oh, umm, Jensen happened.”  
  
The shorter man looks dubious, “Jen did that? Why? I never saw him hit anyone that didn’t deserve it,” he squints and Jared feels six inches high under the weight of the look, “ _what the hell did you do_?”  
  
“I…we...the thing is, things haven’t been good for a long time and...well I didn’t _mean_ to, it just….it’s been so long since anyone made me feel…” he knows he’s babbling, it’s because he’s nervous and scared and doesn’t know what words to use. He has no idea _how_ to say what he has to say because once it’s out there, he can’t take it back. He looks away from Chris and tries to calm his breathing a little more. Tears are burning his eyes, threatening to spill over again. Sighing, he looks up into expectant blue eyes, “I...there’s a guy from the gym…Jensen came home early...”  
  
Chris’ eyes harden, his jaw tightens and the man radiates anger, “You _cheated_ on him? In your _own house_? ” he asks in a clipped tone, as if in disbelief.  
  
Jared can only nod, no words will come out, only a sound that he _thinks_ is a sob. The tears finally spill over, he can’t stop them. His chest aches, his legs feel like they’re about to give out on him and his head feels like it might explode. His eyes are blurry as he looks at Chris, silently trying to convey his guilt and regret, and beg for help all at once.  
  
“Jesus, Jay,” Chris says, and crosses the room at speed. Jared closes his eyes and braces himself for another punch. He flinches when he feels Chris’ hand on his shoulder, and dares to open his eyes. Chris _wants_ to punch him, Jared can see it in his face, instead he feels himself being pulled into a hug. He throws his arms around Chris and hangs on for dear life, the solid weight of the man grounding him and stopping him falling over, “You’re an asshole!” Chris says, and Jared can only nod frantically and cry some more.  
  


§ § § § § § §

  
  
It’s almost dark by the time Jared has said his piece, and although he still feels terrible, getting it off his chest feels a lot better than he expected. To Chris’ credit, he hasn’t automatically taken Jensen’s side, but he’s not about to forgive Jared any time soon, either, and Jared’s grateful for that. He doesn’t deserve it, and anyway, it’s not Chris who’s important here, he needs to tell all of it Jensen.  
  
“How can I try and make him understand, Chris? I _need_ him to understand,” he can hear the desperation in his own voice, “I didn’t plan to do it, I _swear_ I didn’t, I just felt so _lonely_ and Jeff was there and he made me feel so...so _wanted_.”  
  
Chris shakes his head and takes a sip of his beer, “I don’t know, Jared, you’re gonna have to work that one out on your own. He doesn’t forgive easily, you know that, man.”  
  
Jared nods and takes a long, slow drink of his own beer, letting the cold liquid soothe his sore throat. “I know, and I’m not sure he should forgive me, I don’t think I can forgive myself. I love him, Chris, more than anything, but we just, we’re not the same people we used to be. We need…” he trails off and looks at Chris, a hundred words swimming in his head and none of them the right ones, “I gotta talk to him, man, is there anywhere you can think of that he might have gone?”  
  
“Not anywhere you won’t already have thought of. Maybe it’s best you let him cool down some more.”  
  
Jared scratches at the label of his beer bottle, peeling off the damp paper and rubbing it between his fingers, when suddenly he remembers, “When Jensen did answer the phone, it sounded like he may have been in a bar,” he squints into the distance, trying to remember more, “it definitely sounded like a bar but a quiet one, ya know?”  
  
Chris smacks himself on the forehead with the heel of his hand, “Of course!” he says, “I bet he went to Ford’s.”  
  
Jared trips over his feet in his attempt to get to the door as quickly as possible. He rights himself and spins around to Chris who’s taking too damn long, “Where is it? Let’s go, NOW!”  
  


§ § § § § § §

  
Jared is so relieved to see Jensen’s truck in the parking lot, at least his boyfriend - could he still call him that? - isn’t driving around aimlessly. He has a habit of shutting off from his surroundings when he’s deep in thought and Jared would never forgive himself if Jensen had gotten into an accident of some kind.  
  
The relief leads to more tears and now, Jared’s terrified of what’s coming. He _should_ go home now he knows Jensen’s safe, wait for Jensen to cool down and come home when he’s ready. He _should_ be the bigger man and respect that if Jensen had wanted to talk he’d have come home by now, or answered the phone again. There are lots of things Jared _should_ do but his mama will tell anyone who’ll listen that he’s never had control over his impulses when it comes to someone he loves.  
  
It’s only been a couple of hours but Jared can’t wait any more, he feels like he’s going to burst if he doesn’t at least _see_ Jensen and check he’s OK...or as OK as he can be under the circumstances..  
  
He takes one deep breath, then another before turning to Chris, "I'm scared to go in," he whispers, more to himself than the other man, "what if he walks out again?"  
  
Chris sighs next to him, “Man, I don’t know what to tell you. He’s got every right to walk out, but that don’t mean he will. This,” he nods towards the bar, “is a public place and you know Jen, anything to avoid personal conversations on public. Do you want me to come in, too? Maybe he’ll freak less if he sees me.”  
  
A wave of gratefulness washes over Jared and his chest tightens with even more emotion. He’s embarrassed that Chris would even ask, but also touched at the same time. He’s an adult, he can face this alone...only he’s not sure he can. If Jensen does speak to him, or worse, walks out again, Jared’s so emotionally drained he can’t be sure he won’t just collapse in a heap on the floor. He doesn’t speak for some time, weighing up the options. Chris doesn’t push him for answer, which he’s also grateful for. After running bad scenario after bad scenario through his head, he makes up his mind. He turns to Chris, who’s looking worried, “Thanks man, you’re a good friend, but I have to do this alone. I got myself into this mess, so I have to face up to it.”  
  
Chris nods, “You want me to wait, give you a ride back?”  
  
Jared swallows and nods back, a smile that he knows must be weak at best, on his lips, “That’d be good, thank you.”  
  
No amount of controlled breathing is going to calm Jared down, now. All he can hear is the blood thundering through his body, all he can feel is his heart thumping, and the butterflies in his stomach. He runs his hands through his hair and nods, “OK, here goes!”  
  
His legs wobble as he gets out of Chris’ truck and it takes him a few seconds to get his balance. He doesn’t look back, just walks towards the door with slow, measured steps. He wants to run but stops himself, he feels queasy as it is, if he moves any quicker he may just throw up.  
  
His hand shakes as he pushes the door open. His eyes take a little adjusting, it’s bright and sunny outside but in the bar it’s dark. He notes that it’s hot and stuffy, too, all of which indicates that there’s no windows to give natural light. Jared looks up to see ceiling fans and he can just about make out a faint whirring sound over the other noises around him. His eyes dart around as he makes his way to the bar, looking out for Jensen. He sees no sign of him, and waits anxiously for the bartender so he can ask her. After what seems like a lifetime, she heads towards him with a smile on her face.  
  
“What can I get you, hon?”  
  
“Uh,” Jared says dumbly. She may as well have asked him to define quantum physics in one sentence, “beer?” he replies, quietly.  
  
The bartender frowns at him slightly, “Are you telling me or asking, sweetheart?” Her voice is soft, not unkind in any way, just confused.  
  
“Sorry,” he says and fumbles his wallet from his pocket, taking out a bill “uh, Miller, please,” While she pours, he turns and looks around some more, “I’m looking for someone, maybe you know him? His name’s Jensen, 6’ 1”, uh…” he pauses when it’s clear she knows who he’s talking about.  
  
“So good to see Jensen in here again, we missed him around here!” she says with a broad smile.  
  
Jared’s confused. He realises he must be frowning, the skin on his face feeling taut and dry from all the crying, and now he thinks about it, his eye and cheekbone throb where Jen punched him. He must look a state, “We?”  
  
“Me and my son, Colin. Between you and me, I think my boy has one hell of a crush on Jensen!” she says with a fond smile on her face, “last I saw, the two of ‘em were heading to the back room.” she nods her head in the direction of a sign reading ‘Pool tables’ and hands Jared his change.  
  
He shoves the money in his pocket and takes a huge swig of beer, feeling its icy coldness trail down his throat and down into his stomach, where it settles uneasily. If it’s possible, Jared’s even more nervous now. He has to speak to Jensen, he has to try and make this right.  
  
“Thanks,” he says, his voice quiet where his throat seems to be constricting, and makes his way over to the darkened area.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry to those who wanted to go straight to the J/C sex. This fic has become much more than the PWP I planned and has become more about a whole story. I couldn't leave Jared out any longer!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a fair bit of angst and dialogue in this chapter, it's *the* conversation. I hope you like it!

_“Or you could come upstairs, fuck me and then we can have dinner.”_

It takes a moment for Colin’s words to sink in and when they do, Jensen thinks he must look like a goldfish the way he can feel his mouth opening and closing. He stares at Colin then shakes his head to make sure he’s actually awake before he speaks, “Um…” he clears his throat which seems to have gone dry all of a sudden, “say what now?”

Colin looks almost as stunned as Jensen feels. There’s a blush spreading quickly across his cheeks and up his neck, soon to meet by the looks of it. “Uh, sorry,” he babbles,“I didn’t mean it...well I _meant_ it but I didn’t mean to _say it_...I’m sorry, forget I said anything, it’s stupid… _I’m_ stupid, Jesus Christ,” he starts pulling at his t-shirt and looking around the room, anywhere but Jensen, “can I just die now, please?”

Jensen can’t help it, he barks out a laugh, not because it’s funny per se but because the whole situation is ridiculous. He’s just had his dick down the teen’s throat, practically, and it’s twitching again at the thought of getting inside Colin’s sweet, tight ass. His brain, his _upstairs one, at least_ is thinking logically, “Colin, we can’t, _I_ can’t do that, it wouldn’t be right. You’re half my age and then there’s this whole mess with Jared and... _fuck_!”

He watches as Colin physically deflates. His shoulders sag, he hangs his head and starts picking at a stray piece of cotton on his jeans. He briefly makes eye contact and there are tears in his young eyes, and Jensen goes with his sudden urge to wrap Colin in his arms. The teen doesn’t react, he’s rigid in Jensen’s embrace, so Jensen pulls back and lifts the boy’s head with a firm finger under his chin. Colin doesn’t meet his eyes, “Hey!” Jensen says, dipping slightly so he’s in the teen’s eye line, “look at me,” he waits until he’s looking into watery blue eyes before continuing, “I’ve had a rough fuckin’ day, today, I’m about ready to drop. I’m too…” he pauses, trying to find the right words, “I’m just too fucked up in the head to deal with this right now, OK?”

Colin looks deep into Jensen’s eyes, almost as if he’s searching out a lie in them. He doesn’t look convinced but nods anyway, “I picked the wrong day then, huh?” he says, a sad smile on his face. Jensen breathes a sigh of relief and pulls Colin back in, and this time the teen responds, his arms wrapped tight around the older man’s back. Colin lays his head on Jensen’s shoulder for a moment before taking a deep breath and pulling away. “I’m gonna go and see if Ash has any of his famous pulled pork left, I’m starving.” he says before walking off towards the bar and the brighter lights.

Jensen picks up the almost empty bottle of Jack, pours and drinks just to give himself a moment to get his composure back. He shoves his phone into his jeans pocket, picks his jacket and turns to follow Colin, stopping in his tracks when he sees Jared stood at the next table, watching him. _Oh shit_!” he thinks as the whisky settles heavy in his stomach, “ _How long as he been stood there? What did he see?_. A cold fear spreads through him and he feels his forehead start to sweat, “Jared?” he asks, his voice almost a squeak.

On closer inspection, Jared looks nervous, scared even, and Jensen can’t help but breathe a sigh of relief - if Jared had seen or heard anything wouldn’t be looking so sheepish. “Hi,” he says, feebly, “I’m sorry to come here,” he takes a few steps towards Jensen and then stops, as if he thought better of it, “I had to speak to you Jensen, I need to explain, I need you to understand, we have to talk.” he’s looking at Jensen with those puppy dog eyes that used to get him almost anything he wanted, but now Jensen’s immune...he’s also furious again.

“What the fuck are you doing here, Jared? How did you find me?” he asks, outraged.

Jared shrugs, he fucking _shrugs_ , and waves a hand nonchalantly, “I asked Chris, I didn’t know what else to do!” his voice broke a little on the last few words, giving away his desperation.

The alcohol, the stress of the day along with the swirl of emotions Jensen’s feeling right now boil up and he snaps, not able to keep his voice down, “So you thought you’d fucking stalk me? You couldn’t just give me a few hours space to try and get my head around this shit? Don’t you think you’ve done enough damage for one day, Jared?” he hisses, surprised at the venom in his own voice.

“Jensen? Everything OK?” Colin asks loudly, reappearing behind Jared and looking pretty damn furious.

Jared turns and speaks before Jensen has the chance, “Back off, kid, this is a private conversation.”

Jensen can only watch as Colin visibly tenses, his shoulders squared in determination as he steps into Jared’s personal space, “This is a _public_ bar,” he says, and Jensen’s a little in awe of how confident Colin sounds, “and I wasn’t talking to _you_!” he steps back marginally and turns his body towards Jensen, “Jen?”

The older man is thrown a little, hearing the nickname coming from Colin’s lips. It’s a name he’s heard all his life, but hearing it in Colin’s voice, like he’s been using it forever does something to Jensen’s insides. His stomach flips, in a good way, and an involuntary shiver runs through him at how _right_ it sounds. Jensen looks at Colin, “It’s OK,” he says, pinching the bridge of his nose, “Jared was just leaving.”

“Jensen, please” Jared says, taking a few steps towards him with a pleading look in his eyes, “just hear me out, then I’ll go, _I promise_.”

“Jared would you just-” he cuts himself off as he sees Colin scramble between the two of them, a large hand square in the centre of Jared’s chest, stopping the taller man in his tracks.

Colin’s face is red with anger and he’s breathing heavily, “He said he wants you to leave, I suggest you listen to him.” he almost growls.

Jared looks flabbergasted, “Who the fuck are you?” he says, “and _I_ suggest,” he knocks Colin’s hand away, then pushes him on the shoulder, causing the teen to stagger a little, _you_ mind your own damn business, kid!”

“HEY,” Jensen steps forward and pulls Colin by the arm until he’s out of Jared’s reach, “enough, both of you!” Colin is glaring at Jared, and Jared is staring as if he’s trying to work out what just happened. Jensen turns to Jared, he wants to punch him again for searching him out here at the bar, for not backing off when he was asked to, and because of what he just did to Colin. _Shit_! “Jared, give me a minute,” he says with a sigh. Jared makes no move and Colin opens his mouth to speak but Jensen stops him, “wait here” he says in Jared’s general direction and pulls Colin back towards the table they just left.

Colin lets himself be manoeuvred by the shoulders so that his lower back and hips are against the edge of the pool table, and Jensen steps as close as he dares. Colin’s jaw is set, anger and defiance clear in his eyes, “What the hell was that?” he asks, softly, sliding one hand up Colin’s neck.

“He has no right be here, Jensen. He _shouldn’t_ be here, it’s totally disrespectful after what he did. The least he could do is have the decency to give you some space,” his hands are balled into fists at his sides, “I’ma kill him,” he says and tries to step around Jensen.

“Whoa, easy there, kiddo!” Jensen says, putting pressure on Colin’s neck and shoulder to hold him in place. As soon as Colin opens his mouth, Jensen can’t help but smile despite himself because he knows what’s going to come out.

“I’m not a kid!” he’s staring at Jensen, tears in his eyes, “please don’t go with him.” he whispers, gripping Jensen’s forearm just above from where his wrist is touching Colin’s neck.

Jensen can only sigh, “This is how he is, Colin, Jared’s...well he’s...tenacious. He’s like a dog with a bone, he’s not going to stop until I hear him out. It’s easier all round if I just get it over with.”

“But he doesn’t deserve it!” Colin snaps, ”he doesn’t deserve...” he bows his head a little, then looks back up, straight into Jensen’s eyes, “he doesn’t deserve _you_.”

Jensen’s stomach twists with something he can’t name when Colin says that, and he doesn’t know how he can deny the words. He shakes his head, “No, I guess he doesn’t but we...I still care about him. We have a history and I owe it to myself to find out why he did what he did.” Jensen’s determined not to let the last five years of his life fall apart in one day, and yet he wants to cry at the heartbroken look on Colin’s face. He wants to hold him close and take his pain away, he hurts _for_ Colin. When did he develop actual _feelings_ for the teen, instead of just lusting after him?

Colin adjusts his body so that he’s leaning in towards Jensen, the only part to touch him is the teen’s right hand placed tentatively on Jensen’s chest over his heart, heavy and warm “Promise me you’ll come back?” he whispers, and it’s so desperate that Jensen’s throat constricts. He glances out towards the bar to make sure Jared hasn’t come back to find out what’s going on, and then looks Colin dead in the eye. He cards one hand through the teen’s hair before cradling his skull, the other hand cupping his cheek. He does what feels right, leaning in and placing a firm but gentle kiss to soft, pliant, pink lips.

When he pulls back, a tear is making its way down Colin’s cheek, so Jensen wipes it away with his thumb. “Right now, that’s the only thing I _can_ promise.” He suddenly finds himself wanting to tell Colin that he’ll be right back, he’ll come back to him as soon as he can, but he won’t make a promise he knows he can’t keep. He closes his eyes, wishing he could start the day over. When he opens them again, Colin has a sad smile on his face, but at least it’s a smile.

“Guess that’ll have to do for now,” he says, his throat sounding raw, “don’t leave it too long, though…please?”

Jensen swallows the lump in his throat, nods and lets his hands fall away. As he walks back towards Jared, his body feels heavy, like it knows that things are going to get worse and wanting to put off the inevitable.

Jared – miraculously – is still standing where Jensen left him, “You better _explain_ fast Jared because my patience is wearing thin. Meet me at home...” he stops and looks Jared in the eye for emphasis, “meet me at _the apartment_ , I need some time first,” Jared opens his mouth but Jensen cuts him off, “no, Jared, that’s not negotiable!”

Jensen gets the bus back, he’s had too much to drink to be driving and he’s too distracted as well. Yeah, he’s also dragging it out as much as possible, but under the circumstances, who can blame him?

§ § § § § § §

Jared’s sat at the kitchen table nursing a beer when Jensen walks in. He slowly stands as Jensen hangs his jacket up, puts his keys on the side and grabs himself a beer. Probably a bad idea on top of all he’s drank already, a knee trembling orgasm and no food, but he doesn’t give a shit right now.

Uncharacteristically, Jared is silent, he just watches until Jensen sits at the table too, in the seat at the opposite end of the room. Jensen has so many questions, so many things he wants to say, he doesn’t know where to start. He takes a few mouthfuls of beer while he thinks, before finally looking at Jared, “How long have you been fucking someone else?” he says, bluntly, his voice a lot calmer than he feels. He watches as Jared flinches and feels a smug sense of satisfaction at that.

Jared sits back down and sighs, licking his lips before he speaks, “That was the first time, I swear.”

“You actually expect me to believe that?” Jensen scoffs, “if you think that playing innocent is going to make this any easier on you Jared, you’re sorely mistaken.”

Jared flinches again, but doesn’t look away, “It’s true, I’ve never slept with anyone else before today. I know you probably don’t believe that, but it’s the God’s honest truth, baby.”

“Don’t call me that, not now,” Jensen says, furiously. He’d always hated the pet name when his previous boyfriends called him that, but Jared always seemed to use it in the right way, making it all the more special when he did.

“Sorry,” Jared says, his shoulders slumping, “how do you want to do this, Jen, do you want to ask me or should I tell it from my perspective?”

“Whichever’s quickest,” Jensen says, rubbing his temple to try and ease the headache starting there.

“Jen,” Jared pleads, but Jensen doesn’t let up.

“If I’m expected to believe that this was the first time, how do you explain me coming home to…” he can’t bring himself to say it, the images flashing behind his eyes are enough, “why today, what changed?”

Jared swallows half of his beer then sets it aside, “I was…lonely, I guess,” he looks at Jensen and continues, “you’ve been so distant lately, Jen, and things have been getting worse for us for a long time. It was easier to spend extra time at the gym rather than come home and fight. All that effort pretending there’s nothing wrong, Jen, it was so hard and I couldn’t _breathe_. Then suddenly Jeff was there and he wanted me so much...”

Jensen’s confused, “Lonely? How could you be lonely when I’m right here, trying to get us back on track. You’re the one who keeps going to bed early…and don’t think I didn’t know when you’re pretending to sleep, Jared, I’m not an idiot,” he laughs humourlessly, “but that’s the thing, I have been an idiot, you’ve been screwing around on me all this time and I didn’t even suspect anything.”

“No Jen, I _told you_ , never before today. We never went beyond kissing and hand jobs. I’ve wanted to, I’m not gonna lie to you. Jeff’s been there for me, he’s so easy to talk to and he’s been helping me with my training. He made it clear from the start that he was into me, but I told him I have a boyfriend who I love, and I love you so much, I really do, and I know you love me. That’s what’s been so hard, we love each other but we’ve both been pulling away in our own ways.”

“What do you mean, pulling away? I’ve not been pulling anywhere…” Jensen’s thinking so hard it hurts.

“You have, Jen. You started going to that damn bar with Chris for months, that’s when things started going downhill quicker than they already were. You were never here so I had to do something with my time. We’ve not been having sex so I put all my energy into the gym. I thought,” he sighs, drinking more beer, “I thought you were seeing someone else but I could never build up the courage to confront you about it. Then you just…stopped going there, so I figured it was someone at the bar and that it was over. I didn’t want to know for sure so I just never asked.”

“What?” Jensen asks, appalled, “what makes you think that?”

“Well we stopped having sex for a start, Jen. You flinched every time I touched you so the only reasonable explanation in my head was that you were seeing someone else, and that you didn’t want me anymore,” he sniffs.

“I never said that! I tried Jared, every time I touched _you_ , you pulled away from me. Why?”

“I want a relationship, Jen, not to be roommates with benefits!” he snaps.

Jensen feels the anger building up inside him again, is Jared trying to say Jensen drove him into another man’s arms? “Why would you think that’s what we are, Jay, what gives you that idea?” he asks, hurt at the insinuation.

“We’re strangers living in the same space, we never do anything together, we don’t even talk and watch movies like we used to. What happened to us, Jen?”

Jensen watches tears roll down Jared’s face, and feels the wetness on his own cheeks. He’s still so angry with Jared, but he can’t deny that something with them is so very broken, “I don’t know,” he says, honestly.

“I missed you, so much, Jen,” Jared says, his voice breaking, “I just needed to feel wanted again, I never meant to let it go as far as I did with Jeff. He made me laugh, he sent me silly texts about random shit because he knew I’d like them. He…he made me feel special, the way you used to, Jen, until…” he looked at Jensen like he should know what comes next.

“Until?”

Jared takes a sharp intake of breath and speaks again, quieter now, like Jensen might blow up if he speaks too loudly, “Until you started saying someone else’s name in your sleep.”

Jensen feels like he’s taken a punch to the gut, he doesn’t know why, but he has a very bad feeling all of a sudden, “What? When?” he asks, certain that Jared must be able to hear his heartbeat from across the other side of the room.

More tears roll down Jared’s face now, and he looks at the table rather than Jensen, “About six months ago,” he says, distantly, “it was after you and Chris had been at that stupid bar all night. You were so drunk, like you get when something’s weighing on your mind. You came to bed and started pawing at me, telling me how much you wanted me, how much you’d been thinking about me and how you couldn’t stop. I was so happy. It’d been so long since you said _anything_ like that and I thought it meant we were finally getting out of our funk, you know? You were too drunk to do anything and you passed out, and then,” he sniffed loudly, “then I woke up to you…you must’ve been dreaming, you were rutting against me and when you…when you came you said…”

Jensen could only watch as Jared went to the fridge to get another beer, he felt sick, his head was pounding…Jared couldn’t mean what he thought, surely? Jared turned quickly, his face set like stone and in a tone that left no room for argument, he spoke, “Who’s Colin and how long were you fucking him?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Damn these characters for making me want to write more story! I promise there will be some smut for you soon! :)
> 
> So what about that plot twist, huh? Do you hate me now? LOL


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> To move the story along and to give a rounded picture, this chapter's from multiple points of view.
> 
> Thank you to everyone who's still with me on this, I've been blown away by your comments and support! <3

Jared waits for Jensen to answer but the older man says nothing, he’s sitting there with his mouth hanging open. Jared assumes he’s shocked to have been found out, like he himself was earlier with Jeff. He feels bad for putting Jensen on the spot but he needs answers, he needs to know how long he’s been taken for a fool, no matter how much it will hurt.

“Jesus, Jared, I wasn’t fucking anyone!” he says with an angry tone, “that one’s all on you!”

Jared expected the dig, truth be told, he deserved it, but he wouldn’t be lied to, “I find that hard to believe, Jensen, all the signs were there, clear as day.”

“Signs? What signs?” he shouts, “there were no _signs_ because I wasn’t doing anything!”

“So you being out all the time, having no interest in sex _with me_ at least, no interest in even _spending time_ with me…and then mumbling someone else’s name, none of that is in the least bit suspicious to you?”

Jensen stands quickly, his face getting redder by the second and his breathing becoming faster, “I could say the exact same thing, Jared. You’re always at the fucking gym, you flinch away from my touch so you’re just as guilty of what you’re accusing me of! Oh wait, you ARE guilty of that and now I know why you’re always at the gym. I bet Jeff’s been giving you a real good _workout_!” he spits.

“I told we didn’t have sex until today!” Jared says, trying to keep his voice calm, even though he _feels_ anything but. Jensen glares at him.

“You just admitted there was kissing and hand jobs - that counts Jared. He may not have fucked you until today, but you’ve still been cheating on me!”

“You cheated first!” Jared yells, aware of how childish that sounds, but he doesn’t know what else to do.

“I didn’t cheat!” Jensen yells back, “I _looked_ but I did nothing about it…unlike you!”

Jared feels a little dizzy so he sits and takes a few deep breaths before looking Jensen dead in the eye, “You looked? Nothing more?”

Jensen throws his head back and lets out an exasperated noise, “Nothing more because _I’m with you, asshole_! Ask Chris, he was there with me the whole time, every single visit.”

“He’s your best friend, you think he’s not going to cover for you?” Jared scoffs, “I know you’re lying Jensen, you said his name. I deserve to know.”

“No,” Jensen says, leaning over the table and stabbing his finger at it, “you _think_ I’m lying, there’s a difference. I’ve already told you I looked, I can’t help what I dream and I’m sorry if that hurt you, Jay, I really am, but I _never_ acted on it. Shit, I even stopped going in there because I was trying to improve things between us, and now I find out that you were off trading hand jobs with your fancy man.”

Jared opens his mouth to object and is met with a glare from Jensen. All he could do was sigh - it was true, he and Jeff had been fooling around for months. It took a while for what Jensen said to sink in. He’d suddenly stopped going to Ford’s about three months ago and had been going there roughly three or four months before that. Jared suddenly felt sick, the timescale didn’t match. He and Jeff had had their first heavy make out session almost eleven months ago and progressed from there, meaning that even if Jensen had cheated on him, Jared was already having an affair. The beer, the stress and the guilt caught up with him and he only just made it to the sink before he threw up.

§ § § § § § §

Jensen cringed as Jared emptied his stomach contents. On autopilot he reached for a glass to fill so Jared could rinse his mouth when he was done, but Jensen was hurting and as petty as it was, he shut the cupboard, leaving all the glasses where they were. Jared didn’t deserve his sympathy after what he’d done, and what he’d accused Jensen of doing. How could Jared possibly think that he would sleep around? Of course they had their problems, what couples didn’t, but to be so convinced that Jensen was cheating? That hurt, a lot, especially as he’d removed himself from temptation.

He never once considered acting on his attraction to Colin. Dreams and fantasies are one thing, actually acting out any of it was another matter entirely. He was too freaked out and guilty over his age for a start, there was no way anything could ever happen. His guilt was made worse when Colin started looking back - Jensen wasn’t an idiot, he knew very well what the lingering looks, the lip licking and tighter clothes were all about. He’d never been alone in the bar until today, Chris would back him on that, not because he was Jensen’s best friend but because it was true. He’d tell Jared that after he stopped puking.

He left Jared in the kitchen while he went to pee. As he held his dick he was hit the image of it filling Colin’s mouth, earlier, and how good it looked and felt having the teen on his knees after all those months of fantasising about it. All his good intentions had got to pot in his anger at Jared, and now everything was falling apart around him. He had half a mind to go back out there and tell Jared what he’d done with Colin, tell him Colin had wanted to do a lot more. He wondered how Jared would react if he told him that he hadn’t fucked Colin but that he wanted to so badly to, that the kid made him so hard it _hurt_ , but he’d _declined_ despite how angry and hurt he was.

Would it make a difference, though, would Jared think he was still lying? Maybe, but at least then Jared might feel the same pain that Jensen did when he came home to find…that. It won’t solve anything, Jensen knows that, but a spiteful part of him wants to see the look on Jared’s face, anyway.

He tucks himself back in, washes his hands then splashes water on his face. As he closes his eyes, the room spins and he has to grip the sink to steady himself. He’s now realising he was more drunk than he thought. He drinks two glasses of water then brushes his teeth, he doesn’t have the energy to talk any more, he just wants to sleep. The bathroom light is bright enough that when he turns around he can see the unmade bed. One thought repeats over and over in his mind – did Jared not make the bed after he got up, or did he and Jeff fuck there, too?

Suddenly the walls are closing in on him, his chest feels like it’s stuck in a vice and he can feel a cold sweat running down the back of his neck…he has to get out of there.

§ § § § § § §

Chris looks at his watch, he’s been sat outside for an hour now. When he dropped Jared back off, the younger man told him to go home but Chris decided against it. He watched as Jensen came home, then saw the silhouettes of both men moving around the kitchen. From down here in the truck, their voices sounded like murmurs instead of the yells that they’d actually be, but as long as there was no crashing and banging, Chris would assume things were going as smoothly as they could.

He twisted the key in the ignition, ready to start the drive home when the door to the apartment building crashed open and someone almost fell out of it. He quickly realised it was Jensen, shoved his truck door open and ran over to him, “Jen, are you OK, what happened?”

Jensen’s head snapped up and his eyes went wide with surprise, then recognition, “What are you doin’ here, man?” he slurred, wobbling slightly from the force at which he’d come out of the door.

“I brought Jared back and waited. I knew one of you idjits would need your asses babysitting before the night was through.” Jensen wobbled more and Chris reached out to steady him.

“I need to lie down,” Jensen mumbled, rubbing his temple and pinching his eyes closed tight.

“Yeah I can see that, c’mon, you can crash at my place.”

They were both climbing into the truck when there was a crash from behind them. Chris turned to see Jared standing in the doorway looking panicked, obviously running to find Jensen.

“Jen,” he shouted desperately and ran towards them, “Jen wait, we’re not done talking, we –“

“You’re done!” Chris said decisively before Jensen could speak, “go back inside Jared, you both need rest and some space.”

“But I still need to know who he was fucking!” he said, shoulders sagging.

Chris was confused, “What? Who? Unless I got the wrong end of the stick here, man, I’m pretty sure _you’re_ the one fucking someone else.” Chris followed Jared’s eye line to where Jensen was slumped up against the car door. His eyes were shut but from here he couldn’t tell whether this friend was ignoring them, or whether he’d passed out. He looked back to Jared who had tears in his eyes.

“I did, but…” he sighed, looking nervous, “there was something I left out of what I told you earlier. I think Jen was fucking someone else…someone at that bar. He says he wasn’t but I need to know the truth, Chris.”

Chris frowned, even more confused now. There’s no way Jen would do that, he knew that beyond a shadow of a doubt, “Nah, man, that ain’t so, if he was involved with someone there I’d know. We hardly talked to anyone outside of small talk at the bar, we stayed in our booth most of the time, anyways.”

“Who _did_ you talk to?”

Chris frowned, “I dunno names, man, just guys at the bar. The owner, Carol, and her staff,” he was mentally running through faces but couldn’t think of anyone else that Jen may have even looked at twice, “nah, that’s it...unless you count Colin,” he chuckled. Jared’s face went even paler that Chris thought possible, “Jared?” he stepped closer to him and took hold of the man’s upper arms and shook him lightly, “what’s wrong?”

Tears rolled down Jared’s cheeks and he nodded, looking at Chris like the man had just told him the world was about to end. He opened his mouth two, three times, before a whispered, “That’s him,” left his lips.

A combined sense of relief and feeling of utter hilarity caused Chris to bark out a booming laugh, “Man,” he couldn’t help it then, he couldn’t stop. He bent over, trying to catch his breath through the laughter, and eventually he got control of himself. He looked back at Jared who was staring at him in shock. He put a hand down heavily on each of Jared’s shoulders and looked him straight in the eye, “You listen to me now, son, OK? There is _no way_ on God’s green Earth that Jensen would be fucking _Colin_ , he’s just a kid, there’s nothing to worry about!” he said, sincerely.

Jared continues to stare, his eyes getting wider and wider by the second, and Chris was beginning to worry. He shook Jared again, calling his name until the younger man seemed to come back to himself, “The bartender…she said,” Jared spoke slowly, as if he was trying to remember the exact words, “she said ‘I think my boy has one hell of a crush on Jensen’.”

This wasn’t news to Chris, it was obvious for anyone to see that Colin had it bad. It was actually kind of adorable, the way his face lit up the moment he saw Jensen, the way he almost fell over his own feet to bring Jensen’s favourite chilli cheese fries over to their table. In fact, the blush that bloomed across his cheeks when he was caught checking the older man out had been the butt of many of Chris’ jokes about Colin being ‘Jenny’s number one fan’. It made Jensen extremely uncomfortable as time went on, now that Chris thought about it, to the point where his friend had told him aggressively to quit it and mind his own damn business.

“Yeeeahhh,” Chris said, stretching the word out and speaking softly as if to a child, “and Jen was really uncomfortable with it. I think that’s a large part of why he stopped meeting me there, actually. What does that have to do with anything?”

Chris listened as Jared babbled about what happened after he got to Ford’s, how a tall kid had stood between him and Jensen, like he had a right to be there, getting all up in Jared’s face. He shook his head, “That doesn’t mean anything, man, I’m telling you,” Chris said softly. They both looked at Jensen’s sleeping form, “go back inside and get some rest, Jared.” He watched as the younger man obeyed him, knowing there was nothing more they could do. “We’ll get all this resolved tomorrow.”

Jensen let out a pained groan as Chris dumped him onto the sofa having dragged him out of the truck and into his apartment, “Sleep it off, Princess,” Chris huffed as he made his way to the fridge and took out a six pack.

He plonked himself down in the chair opposite Jensen and thought about everything Jared had said today as he watched his friend sleeping. Jared was so convinced that there’d been something going on with Colin, he actually felt bad for the overgrown puppy, maybe the guy needed some kind of professional help for delusions like that, he thought to himself.

Jensen shifted on the sofa, burying his face in the cushions and mumbling something Chris couldn’t work out. He did nothing for a few minutes until Jensen’s breathing got faster and shallower, like he was having a nightmare. He was making a low whining sound in the back of his throat, like he was scared or upset. Chris was worried Jen might suffocate himself, so with difficulty he rolled his friend over. Now he wasn’t face deep in upholstery, Jensen’s words were audible.

Chris blinked, straining his ears to listen harder, making sure he wasn’t mistaking the words. After a minute, it was clear, he hadn’t misheard. Jensen was repeating the same thing over and over, thrashing his arms in front of him.

“No…too young…can’t have…shouldn’t want…Colin… so hot…but Jared …no…can’t have…shouldn’t want… _Colin_ …” he sobbed.

§ § § § § § §

Colin punched his pillow for the umpteenth time, trying to get comfortable but it was no good. Even if he was lay in clouds of light and fluffy marshmallow he still wouldn’t be able to get to sleep. How could he, with the way he was feeling? He hadn’t thought it possible to go through such a range of emotions in such a short space of time, but here he was.

For hours he’s been switching between elation at seeing Jensen, his joy at what they’d finally done giving way to painful sorrow at seeing the man so upset and betrayed, conflicted over his emotions and wants. Colin was beyond angry, first at himself for pushing Jensen, then at Jensen for letting Colin think he stood a chance; and then finally at Jared for…well, everything. He felt guilty for what he’d done, for being selfish enough to not think about the consequences of their actions, all because he’d been so desperate to have Jensen any way he could. One minute he was filled with hope that he’d see Jensen again soon, because the man had promised, and although he didn’t know Jensen nearly as well as he’d like to, Colin thought himself to be a good judge of character. No sooner had he thought about that promise, he felt stupid and hopeless, Jensen was probably just being kind for Colin’s sake so he could get back to Jared.

“FUCK” he yelled out so loud his throat hurt. Before he knew it, a sharp, burning pain was shooting through his hand and up his forearm. As if he was outside of his body looking on, he could see blood running down his knuckles and over his fingers. There was blood on the wall, too, and on his pillow, along with small clumps of plaster. His hand started throbbing in time with his heartbeat, both increasing in pace as his mom ran into the room.

She stopped short, looking between where Colin was now cradling his injured hand in the other, the tears on his face and small the hole he’d punched in the wall. “Honey?” she asked in a quiet but clearly worried tone, “what’s wrong?”

His eyes never leave hers, even as she sits on the bed next to him, wrapping an arm around him. What’s he supposed to say? He and his mom were close, they were a team, them against the world since his shithead father walked out on them. They talked about pretty much everything, there was nothing he couldn’t approach his mom about, even if – and when – it was something he was uncomfortable talking about. Her eyes were begging him for an answer and a fresh wave of guilt rolled over him, for scaring his mom. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, nodding to the wall, “I’ll fix it.”

“Oh screw the wall, baby, tell me what’s going on with you,” she held his shoulders and waited for an answer. When he still says nothing, she continued, “is it school? Is it a boy? You know you can tell me.”

He crumpled then, the tears he’d been trying to stop from coming poured out of his eyes. He stomach felt like it had been turned into a tumble dryer, spinning and spinning. He’s so confused and drained, physically and mentally. He leans forward, knowing she’ll catch him, feeling her arms wrap tight around him.

“I think I love him, mom…why does it hurt so much?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't seem to stop with the angst! \o/


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jensen makes a decision about Jared, and has a very important question he needs an answer to. I hope you enjoy!

Colin held on to his mom for what felt like all night, though in reality it was more likely to be an hour or so. Once he’d started crying, he just couldn’t stop. She hasn’t pushed him to talk which he’s grateful for because he doesn’t think he can, not right now. He’s so tired, completely drained of all physical and emotional energy. All he wants to do is curl up in a ball and sleep, and with any luck he’ll wake up to find today had just been a terrible nightmare.

His throat is raw from the shouting and crying, his eyes are puffy and blurry, he’s got tears and snot all over his mom’s shirt and his hand is killing him. He eventually uncurls himself from around his mom, letting the blood run back into his limbs. She keeps stroking his back, shushing him until his breathing evens out a little. Only then does she stand and retrieve a box of tissues from the nightstand, pulling a handful out and wiping his face and nose. Colin feels like he should put up some kind of fight, he’s fifteen for Christ’s sake, he can wipe his own Goddamn nose, but he doesn’t have the energy. He sits there motionless as his mom kisses his forehead before heading out of the room with a quiet “Be right back, honey.”

While she’s gone, Colin strips off his soggy shirt and throws it into the hamper before pulling a fresh one out of the dresser and putting it on. He sits back down on the bed and stares at the shirt he took off earlier, where it hangs it over the back of his computer chair. He knows that should be in the hamper too, but once his nasal passages return to normal size he’s sure he’ll still be able to smell Jensen on the fabric and he can’t bear to wash it away just yet.

His mom comes back in and sets a tray down on the bed. There’s a large glass of coke, a tub of ice, a plastic bag, a towel, a bowl of water cloudy with disinfectant, and various wrapped dressings and bandages. She holds the glass towards him, wordlessly, and Colin takes it. The cold liquid burns his throat and soothes it at the same time. He gulps half of it down then has to stop to breathe, his nose too bunged up to allow him to finish it in one go, despite his thirst. He licks the last few drops of the sugary liquid off his lips then sets the glass down, finally looking his mom in the eye.

“Ready to talk?” she asks, quietly, while motioning for him to give her his hand so she can clean and dress it.

“Not really,” he shrugs, then winces as the astringent disinfectant stings the open wounds on his knuckles, but says nothing more.

His mom sighs and keeps working until his hand is cleaned, dressed and bandaged. Colin watches, trance like, as she tips the ice into the bag and hands it to him, “Can you at least tell me if I should be punching someone in the mouth?” she says with half a smile.

Colin can’t help but huff out a laugh at this, “No mom,” he says, his voice scratchy, “one of us with a busted hand is enough, don’t you think?”

She looks at him in that mom way that’s concern, affection, warning and comforting all at once, “I’d rather neither of us had a busted hand but it’s a bit late for that. Listen, sweetheart, whatever’s going on in that head of yours, you need to get it out and I’m here to listen, OK?”

Colin can feel tears prickling his eyes again, a lump starts re-forming in his throat and his heart starts racing, “I…I just can’t at the moment, mom.”

She doesn’t look happy but nods, “Get some rest, we’ll talk tomorrow,” Colin wants to object, wants to say that it’s too complicated, that she wouldn’t understand, but she carries on speaking, “I was fifteen and in love once, baby, I know how shitty it can be. You want some Advil?” 

He pulls the covers over himself and shuffles on the pillows again, resting his injured hand across his stomach. It hurts like a bitch but it’s the only thing grounding him at the moment, taking away from the pain in his heart and the churning in his stomach. “I’ll be OK, thanks, mom.” he says just before exhaustion takes over.

§ § § § § § §

The first thing Jensen becomes aware of is the stabbing pain behind his eyes, then the throbbing in his head. After that the foul, acrid taste of stale alcohol in his mouth and the bone deep ache taking over his body.

He tries turning onto his side to get more comfortable but is met with some kind of furry thing in his face. His eyes snap open and he sees mostly a red fuzz, with a little blue…or maybe it was green, his vision’s not caught his body up yet. “The fuck?” he mumbles, pushing his weight up on one arm. He squints until he can focus and recognises the offending object as the blanket Chris keeps draped over his sofa.

“G’morning, Sunshine!” Chris says from somewhere behind him, far too chirpy for Jensen’s liking, “coffee’s hot and I made it extra strong…figured you’d need it.”

“Ung,” Jensen mumbles, struggling to co-ordinate his limbs. Eventually sitting upright, he looks up at his friend to see him holding a steaming mug out. He takes it with shaking hands, brings it to his nose to breath in the heavenly smell, then takes two deep swallows, letting out a satisfied noise when he’s finished. Jared always teases him about that noise, saying it’s almost the sound he makes right after he comes, and that no-one should get to hear that but him. He smiles to himself for a second before he remembers. Jared. “ _Ah shit_!” he sighs and covers his eyes with the hand not holding his coffee.

“Yup, that about sums it up,” Chris snorts as he plops down into his favourite armchair, “so…” he says, leaving the rest of his sentence unsaid.

Jensen’s really not in the mood to talk. He needs to piss, he needs some Advil, he needs more coffee and lots of it, and he needs _not_ to think about how awful his life is right now. He opens his eyes, ignoring the fresh stabs of pain as the light of the room hits them, and looks at Chris, “So what?”

Chris looks concerned and Jensen can’t help but wonder if something else has happened. He watches as the older man opens his mouth a few times, but doesn’t actually say anything, like he’s unsure of how to phrase what he’s trying to say. He sighs then leans forward, his forearms resting on his thighs. He’s silent for some time before he shakes his head and looks at Jensen, “You can crash here as long as you need to, if that’s what you want.”

Jensen nods his head, “Thanks man, I appreciate that,” he drinks the rest of his coffee and shuffles into the kitchen to get a fresh one. Chris hasn’t said a word but Jensen can feel the man’s eyes on him. He turns and looks at his friend, “What is it?”

“I’m sorry, man, I just can’t get something outta my head from last night. After what Jared said…and then…” he pauses, looking uncertain. Jensen feels a dull pressure at his temples and realises it’s from where he’s clenching his jaw at the mention of the man who’s hurt him so deeply. Chris shakes his head again, “never mind, it can wait. I gotta run a quick errand, I’ll pick you up in an hour. Your spare set of clothes is in the drawer in the guest room.” He’s out of the door before Jensen can swallow his coffee.

§ 

Jensen stands under the hot water, letting it soothe the ache in his body. He’s exhausted and hungover, and his brain feels like it’s full of fog. The Advil he took are starting to work and slowly but surely he’s starting to feel more human. His stomach rumbles but he doesn’t think he can face food yet. He doesn’t know how exactly long he’s been stood there but he’d guess half an hour. He doesn’t want to keep Chris waiting so he grabs the shower gel and starts to lather himself up. He hisses as his shoulder blades sting, and again when the scented foam runs down his hips. He’s confused as to why until he looks down and sees his wounds on his hips. Half moon shapes cut into his skin from where Colin’s nails had dug in. His breath catches in his chest and he feels his face flush as the image of his fat cock sliding in and out of Colin’s beautiful, swollen lips floods his mind. He’s hard almost instantly, dizzy with arousal. He applies gentle pressure as he glides his hands over the skin where it’s cut and where there are tender bruises that will match Colin’s fingers perfectly. His mouth goes dry and he feels his heartbeat speed up the more he touches all the places Colin touched, slowly sliding his hand to wrap loosely around his hard cock. The touch is slippery and perfect and squeezes just a little tighter on the upstroke.

Suddenly, as if the water ran cold, Jensen feels a sickening shiver run through his body at how wrong this is, how it should be Jared on his mind right now and not the teen he’s been lusting after for months. He balls his hands into loose fists at his sides and takes slow, deep breaths. As he thinks of Jared and the scene he walked in on yesterday, his erection wilts almost as quickly as it started. Now he feels nauseous all over again, so many emotions battling their way through his mind. Before it can take hold any more, he clears his mind and finishes washing himself quickly and efficiently.

§ 

When Chris comes back to the apartment he looks as if he’s surprised to see Jensen on the sofa, dressed and ready to leave. “Jen, are you ready for this?” he says, softly, “I can throw some things in a bag for you if you’d rather not see him yet.”

Jensen feels the colour drain from his face, “Man, I didn’t even think about that, he’s always out on a...” he stops, the gravity of the words hitting him all of a sudden. He’s not ready to see Jared, the thought of it makes him instantly angry, “he’s always at,” he starts again, feeling his blood pounding in his ears, “the _gym_ on a Sunday morning. Or maybe I should re-phrase that now I have full disclosure,” his voice becoming more and more bitter with each word, “and say he’s _with Jeff_ on a Sunday morning!”

Jensen takes out his phone and dials Jared’s number before he changes his mind. He answers after three rings, each feeling like an eternity to Jensen. Part of him wants to hang up and send a text, but Jared could claim he never received it, and the older man is in no mood for more of his bullshit.

“Jen?” Jared asks in a surprised voice.

“I’m coming over to pick my stuff up,” Jensen says quickly, not wanting to engage in any kind of conversation, “I’ll be ten minutes and I’d appreciate it if you weren’t there. Chris will pack my bag if needs be.” He ends the call with an angry jab of his finger before Jared can reply.

Chris winces.

“Oh don’t give me that look,” Jensen snaps, “he’s lucky I don’t throw his cheating ass out on the street, the least he can do is clear out for half an hour while I get what I need.”

Chris holds his hands up in an ‘I surrender’ gesture, “I ain’t saying you should pretend like nothing happened, son, but the guy’s hurting, too. You didn’t see the state he was in last night, he was a real mess.”

“Don’t you dare,” Jensen spits, “he knew full well what he was doing, and what would happen when I found out,” he rubs his temples but it does nothing to ease the throbbing he feels there, “we may have been circling the drain for a while now, but he pulled the plug the moment he…” Jensen can hear the wobble in his voice, but he carries on speaking around the lump in his throat, “let’s just go.”

§ 

Jensen’s hand is shaking when he raises the key to the lock. He’s desperately hoping Jared has done the decent thing and given him the space he needs. He pushes the door open and listens…silence. He relaxes a little, but has to be sure. “Jared,” he calls out, “are you here?”

Thankfully there’s no reply. Jensen drops his keys on the breakfast bar and heads to the bedroom. He notices that the bed is perfectly made, but he purposefully makes himself look away before he sees whether they’re fresh sheets or not. He’d wondered last night if Jeff had fucked Jared on those sheets, and he’s had enough emotional punches to the gut, thank you very much. He pulls the biggest suitcase down from the wardrobe and puts as many clothes and personal belongings as he can into it. He won’t be coming back, so anything he can’t carry will have to stay behind. He opens the small safe in the closet and retrieves his passport, birth certificate and other documents that he’s never gotten around to sorting through.

He fastens the case and heaves it off the bed, wincing when a sharp pain shoots across his hand. He hadn’t noticed before but there are three cuts in the centre of his palm. He makes a fist and they match his nails perfectly – he vaguely recalls feeling something warm run down his hand as he open the door on Jared and Jeff, and realises now that it must’ve been his own blood. Why that should come to mind now, he has no idea, but what’s a few cuts compared to having your heart ripped from your chest and stomped on?

Jensen starts to feel lightheaded, the combination of the anger and sadness he’s feeling, as well as lack of food, no doubt. Quickly he moves back to the kitchen and picks up his keys, desperate to get out. A lump is forming in his throat as he pulls the keys to the apartment off the chain, leaving only the keys to his truck and a key for Chris’ place. He puts the two pieces of metal down side by side on the counter and leaves, slamming the door on his way out.

Tears run down his cheeks without permission as he marches towards Chris’ truck. Through blurry eyes he sees his friend get out and open the trunk ready for Jensen’s case. He nods in thanks, making only very brief eye contact before climbing into the passenger seat. There are a million things that he could say, and he surprises himself and Chris when he says, “I need to collect my truck, I left it outside Ford’s last night.”

They drive over in silence, or rather they don’t speak, but Jensen’s running all kinds of dialogue through his head. He can tell he’s annoying Chris by tapping on the door repeatedly, but he’s feeling antsy and he can’t help it. It’s true that he needs his truck but at the same time, as much as he _wants_ to tell himself otherwise, what he also means is, _I need to see Colin.”_

§ § § § § § §

Colin’s been trying to keep Jensen off his mind but it’s impossible. There hasn’t been a day since the man first walked through the doors that Colin’s not thought about him. Today though, it hurts so much more because he doesn’t know when, or even _if_ , he’ll see Jensen again.

He’s running around like a headless chicken, his mom having been keeping him as busy as possible. He knows she’s trying to take his mind off what’s bothering him, and he’s grateful for her trying, even though the plan is failing miserably. She’s not pushing him to talk, although it’s obvious she’s desperate to know what’s going on and eventually she _will_ start asking questions Colin doesn’t want to answer. As open minded and easy going as his mom is, she’s not going to appreciate her son saying, _“Mom, I’m in love with a guy twice my age, and when he caught his boyfriend cheating on him he came in here for some space, I made him admit that he’s wanted me for months, made out with him and then came in my pants while I blew him; and now I don’t know if I’ll see him again_!”

He’s so lost in his thoughts that he doesn’t hear the footsteps that are getting closer and closer to him, so he startles when someone clears their throat behind him. He whirls round, the glasses on the tray in his grip wobble precariously and he tries to steady both them and himself. He looks up and his breath catches in an audible gasp. He’s been seeing Jensen out of the corner of his eye all day, turning to find it was a shadow, or someone who has a similar build, so he has to blink a few times to make sure what he _thinks_ he’s seeing is what he’s _actually_ seeing.

Jensen looks like he’s barely slept, he looks sad and…nervous? He’s rubbing at the back of his neck, like he’s uncomfortable being there or with whatever he’s about to say, “Do you,” he starts, his voice strained. He clears his throat and continues, “do you have a minute?”

Colin puts the tray down so quickly that he misjudges the distance between him and the table, the rough touchdown causing two glasses to fall onto the floor, shattering everywhere, but he barely notices, “You came back,” he whispers, the disbelief in his own voice as clear as day.

Jensen nods and smiles a smile that seems both relieved and fond, “Said I would,” he says, simply. He looks around the bar quickly and Colin himself notices how busy the place is now that he takes the time to look, “is there somewhere quiet we can go? It won’t take long.”

Colin’s heart has been beating frantically since he realised Jensen is stood there in front of him, and at those words it seems to stop, and his stomach lurches. This is it, _it won’t take long_ … surely that means Jensen’s come to say goodbye. He nods, dumbly, and slowly leads Jensen through the door that leads down to the cellar. Each step feels like he’s being pulled into deeper water and Colin’s sure that once he reaches the bottom, he’ll drown under the weight of Jensen’s rejection, once again. Slowly, he turns to face Jensen, summoning as much courage as he can and looks him directly in the eye.

“About yesterday,” Jensen starts, and Colin’s heart sinks, “that shouldn’t have happened.”

Colin swallows around the basketball that seems to have formed in his throat, and nods, trying to keep the tears prickling his eyes from starting, “Yeah, OK, I get it,” he says.

Jensen looks shocked, his eyes wide and his mouth opening and closing, “no wait, I didn’t mean it like that…well I did but…this isn’t right, _shit_!” He runs his hands through his hair, closes his eyes and lets out a breath. When he re-opens his eyes to look at Colin, his face is set in what looks like determination.

The teen hopes to God that he’s not shaking like he thinks he is, it’s bad enough that he’s being dismissed without looking like he’s a quivering cry baby. Jensen takes a few steps closer and Colin’s knees start to feel weak. He closes his eyes, he can’t bear to look at Jensen as he says goodbye, and he’s startled for the second time when he feels Jensen’s hands cup his face. The man is pleading with his eyes, looking like he’s trying to say the thing without actually speaking the words, then finally he opens his mouth, “What happened yesterday was wrong, _I was wrong_ to let that happen like it did. I was hurting and I…I just couldn’t fight any more.”

Colin pulls his head away so that he doesn’t have to look at Jensen, “Let’s forget it happened then. Please, just go,” he says, and he can swear he can feel his heart shattering as he does.

“NO!” Jensen shouts, this time gripping Colin by the upper arms and shaking him, “I’m messing this up. It wasn’t fair to either of us, especially not you. The timing was all wrong, I can’t get into this at the moment, Colin, I need some time, OK?”

Colin hadn’t ever heard of heartbreak making you deaf or hear words differently, so now he was really confused, “What?” he asks, cringing at how pathetic his voice sounds. Jensen stares at him and now Colin’s convinced he’s lost his mind, “Jensen, what are you, umph” he’s cut short by the man crushing their lips together and pulling Colin closer to him. The teen is dumbfounded and after he finally comes to, he pulls back, panting and frowning, “that’s not fair, Jensen,” he hisses, “you can’t tell me I was a mistake and then kiss me, you asshole!”

It’s Jensen’s turn to look confused now. He too, frowns, then seems to get it, “No, Colin, no” he says, cupping the teen’s face again, “that’s not what I meant. I should’ve been stronger and said no yesterday after everything with Jared, but I was too weak because I was angry and I’ve been wanting you for _so long_ , when I shouldn’t. Now… _now_ I have to be strong. I need time to find a new place to live and get my head sorted before we start anything, can you give me that time?”

_Find a new place to live_ is what sticks in Colin’s mind, “You…you left him?” he asks, hardly daring to say the words, “for…me?”

Jensen snorts, “I left him because our relationship was dead in the water, the fact that he’s a cheating scumbag just made me finally realise there’s no hope for us any more,” he looks so sad then that Colin just wants to hold him, but he can tell Jensen needs to get it off his chest, “I don’t do rebounds, Colin, so if you’re serious about how you feel about me, I need to know now. Do I walk away, or not?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that some of you will be disappointed with the decision Jensen has made, so part of me is sorry about that, but I hope you stick with me to the end of the journey! :)


	8. Chapter 8

Jensen’s not sure what he expected Colin’s reaction to be, but the more the moment drags on, the more he’s starting to freak out. Colin is just _standing there_ , saying nothing, looking at him like he’s a really hard physics problem that needs solving. Jensen’s not liking the frown that’s deepening on the teen’s forehead, or the pinched look that’s taking over his face making him look like he has the weight of the world on his young shoulders. If Colin doesn’t answer him soon, Jensen thinks he’ll burst out of his skin.

He watches as Colin swallows a few times, and after what feels like an eternity, he has to speak, “Tell me what you’re thinking, man, you’re killing me here!”

The teen blinks like he’s coming out of a trance. He raises his right hand and flexes it, and Jensen notices the dressing on it for the first time. He rushes forward and takes hold of Colin’s thin wrist, “What happened?” he says, full of concern.

Colin shrugs, “I was pissed off and had a fight with the wall…the wall won,” he says like it’s no big deal.

Jensen doesn’t wait for him to say anything else, he grips Colin’s wrist tighter and peels back the dressing with the other hand. He winces when he sees the cuts and bruises over the soft, young skin. He’s torn, he wants to pull Colin to him and hold him tight. He wants to take back everything that he’s done to cause the teen pain, but at the same time he can’t bring himself to wish that, because although yesterday was a knee jerk reaction to what happened with Jared, it didn’t feel as wrong as he knows it should have. He looks into the teen’s big blue eyes, a fresh stab of pain in his chest as he sees tears waiting to spill over, “I’m so sorry,” he whispers.

Colin nods, then he takes a low slow breath in through his nose, and Jensen knows this is it, “You should go,” Colin says, his voice barely audible.

It feels like a bucket of ice water has been poured over Jensen’s head, and his chest feels so tight someone may have put it in a vice. He struggles to catch his breath and feels dizzy. He lets go of Colin’s hand and it feels like he’s letting go of any happiness he might have in the foreseeable future. He stares blankly at the wall behind Colin as he tries to will his body to act normally.

Colin says something else, but Jensen doesn’t hear it, his ears are full of his own heartbeat and disappointment. “JENSEN!” Colin shouts, making his head snap up and pay attention, “did you hear me?”

The older man nods, still shocked at Colin’s words. The rational part of his brain is telling him he should’ve been prepared for this, it was a yes or no question, after all. “I’ll…um…yeah, I’ll go if that’s what you want.”

He turns to leave and is startled when Colin grabs his arm, “Did you hear me properly?” the teen asks, his voice at a higher pitch than before, almost desperate sounding.

Jensen stares at him, confused, “Yeah, you said I should go, so I’m…going, I guess.”

Colin tugs his arm and turns him so that they’re face to face again. He licks his lips and Jensen can’t help following the movement with his eyes, “I said you _should_ go, we both know that’s the right thing to do.”

Jensen blinks, his brain trying to catch up, “Wait, are you saying you _don’t_ want me to go? You’re kinda giving me mixed signals, here!”

Colin’s reply is wordless, he grabs Jensen’s jacket and tugs so hard that they almost slam into one another. He grabs Jensen by the back of the neck and kisses him hard and desperate, pulling him even closer still so that there’s barely an inch of space between them.

Jensen soon gets with the program and kisses back, relief flooding through him – much more than he expected to feel, truth be told. He runs a fist through Colin’s hair and angles his head so it’s more comfortable and just kisses and kisses. There’s tongue and teeth, until eventually his lips are numb and they’re both panting and have to pull away to breathe.

Colin’s cheeks are flushed, his lips slick, red and swollen. Jensen wants to dive back in until the teen is desperate for more, but he can’t. Instead he cups Colin’s face and kisses him gently, slow pecks that he hopes are a reassurance and a promise all rolled into one. Colin makes a disappointed groan when Jensen finally steps back and puts space between them. He leans in again, trying to capture Jensen’s lips, but the older man stops him.

“It’s not that I don’t want to,” he says, his voice low and rough with arousal, “because believe me, I _really_ want to, but…”

Colin’s shoulders sag, obviously disappointed, but he nods, “I know, you need time.”

Jensen slips both of his hands into Colin’s, being careful not to squeeze too tight on the teen’s injured hand, the pain of his own, forgotten, “I do, it’s the only way. I won’t rush headlong into this because I’m just going to end up fucking it up, and I refuse to do that.” he says, and he really means it.

Colin nods again but offers him a small smile, “It’s OK, I’ve waited this long, a little more time won’t kill me,” he looks worried then, and squeezes Jensen’s hands, “it’s only going to be a little more time, right?”

Jensen sighs, “I don’t know how long it’ll be, Colin, my whole life is up in the air right now. I promise I’ll be as quick as I can.” He leans in to give Colin another kiss, his lips are so soft and swollen still, and Jensen knows his body will take over all his good intentions if he doesn’t get out of here right now, “I’m going,” he says, psyching himself up, “I’m going.”

“I’ll go up first,” Colin says, at the same time as he reaches down and adjusts his crotch, “make sure no-one sees us coming out of here, together. Ungh,” he groans as he pushes down against where Jensen can see the outline of his dick in his jeans, “look what you did, you bastard!” Colin croaks, but stops touching himself with what’s obviously great difficulty.

Jensen holds his hands up, “Teenage hormones, kiddo, can’t blame it all on me,” he smirks.

Colin nods to Jensen’s crotch, where his own bulge is evident, “What about that then?” he says, smugly.

Jensen shakes his head and rolls his eyes, fondly, “Cocky little shit,” he mumbles.

Colin giggles, honest to God, _giggles_ and Jensen feels a warmth in his chest at the sound. He knows right then that once he’s wrapped his head around this shitstorm of his life, he wants to hear that sound again and again.

“OK, it’s clear” Colin whispers from the top of the stairs.

Jensen runs up them, giving Colin’s ass a squeeze on the way passed, making the teen squeak in surprise. The older man turns and winks at him before heading back into the bar. He slips out, and into his truck as quickly as he can.

He grips the steering wheel with both hands, blows out a long breath and lets out as much of the tension and nervousness as he can. After the agony of everything he’s been through in the past twenty four hours, and the mess his life has been for months, Jensen feels lighter. He knows he’s made the right decisions for _him_ so that he can start to rebuild his life.

§ § § § § § §

Chris stirs the pot of chili on the stove and looks at his watch again. He expected Jensen to be back by now. He was only picking up his truck so he should’ve gotten back to the apartment within ten minutes of Chris, allowing for traffic, and it’s been nearly an hour. He sighs, cursing himself for being the mother hen Jensen accuses him of being.

Sooner or later Jensen will need to talk about what’s happened with Jared, even though he’ll sulk and pout for a while first and say he doesn’t _want_ to talk. If there’s one thing Chris has learned in the twenty years he’s known Jensen, it’s that the man’s coping mechanisms suck.

The first step in the Ackles ‘dealing with shit’ program is always booze, and since he just left Jensen at a bar he’s getting a little worried. On top of that, he’s not been able to stop thinking about what Jared said about Colin. When Chris reassured Jared last night that nothing could possibly be going on, he meant it, but after what he’d heard Jensen mumble in his sleep it makes his gut churn. He has to ask Jensen about it, he knows that, but he has to find the right approach.

Jensen comes back not long after Chris sits down with a beer. He's lugging his heavy suitcase at the same time as trying to balance two loaded shopping bags. Chris lets him struggle for a little while, guy code and all that, then gets up to grab the bags, "Why didn't you make two trips, you moron?" he asks his red faced friend, the teasing clear in his voice.

"Would've taken too long and there's drinking to be done!" Jensen replies with a grin.

Chris rolls his eyes, _here we go_ he thinks as he heads to the kitchen to unpack the bags. One is full of snacks that both Jensen and Chris like, the other contains only booze. There's a bottle of bourbon and a bottle of tequila – Jensen obviously means business!

Jensen enters the kitchen and sniffs deeply, making a beeline for the pot of chili. He reaches out to pick up the spoon but Chris slaps his hand away, "It's not ready, back off!" Chris knows he's over-protective, but it's his signature dish and it has to be _just right_.

“Jeez, alright, grumpy!” Jensen says dramatically.

Chris chuckles, giving the pot a stir and replacing the lid. He hears the clunk of glasses being set down and turns to see Jensen is lining up shot glasses and filling them with tequila, “Isn’t it a bit early yet, Jen?” he looks at his watch, it’s 1 pm, “and have you eaten yet today?”

Jensen rolls his eyes, “Firstly, no, it’s passed noon, secondly, no but,” he gestures to a giant bag of chips he’s opening, “I’m just about to; and third, I deserve a fuckin’ drink!”

Chris can’t argue with that last part, hell Chris needs a drink and he hasn’t been through a fraction of what Jensen has in the past twenty four hours. He takes the glass of tequila that Jensen’s holding out to him, watching his friend as he holds his own up in the air and looking pensive. Chris can’t help but wonder if Jensen can come up with something to drink to, so he’s a little surprised at the small smile on the other man’s face as he says ‘To new beginnings’. They both drink, and Chris can’t help but feel like he’s missed something that would cause Jensen to smile like that.

§

An hour and several shots later, Jensen has relaxed into the couch so far that Chris thinks he might actually become part of it. He’s been building up to trying to get Jensen to open up, thinking that the best time is when Jen is in this state…not drunk but mellow, and more likely to talk freely with minimum prompting.

“I’m not talking about it right now,” Jensen says, drawing Chris out of his musings, rolling his eyes when Chris tries to object, “I know you, man, I can hear you thinkin’ from here.”

Chris shrugs, scooting forward a little in his chair and leaning forward to put his beer down, “There’s something that’s bothering me, Jen, I need to ask you about it, but I need you to stay calm, OK?”

Jensen frowns, “I’m perfectly calm. I said I’m not talking about Jared so just drop it, man.”

Chris licks his lips and looks at his friend, “It’s not about Jared,” he says, linking his fingers together between his spread knees, “it’s about… ah man, I could be way off track here but Jared was so _sure_ there was...”

Jensen picks his head up from where it was resting on the back of the couch and looks at Chris with a mixture of annoyance and confusion, “I said I don’t want to talk about Jared, I don’t want to hear his name and I don’t give a shit what he said to you. Why can’t you just let me enjoy my buzz?”

Chris sighs, picking up his beer back up and finishing it. He knows Jensen’s going to be pissed that he’s pushing the subject but he has to know if there’s something to it or not, “I understand that, man, but if you’re staying here we need to have this discussion,” he takes a deep breath, looks Jensen dead in the eye and tries to keep his voice even, “I know this is gonna sound crazy and I swear I won’t ask again after this…”

Jensen sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose, a gesture Chris knows means his friend is fighting off his irritation, “What is it?” he says in a clipped tone.

Chris’ heart is thumping, suddenly nervous of how stupid he’s going to sound, “Last night, Jared told me he thought you’d been seeing someone at the bar,” he says, watching Jensen carefully, “he was convinced it was someone called Colin, and we only know one Colin.”

Jensen looks at him, a look Chris can’t quite figure out on his face, then shrugs, “I know, and I set him straight. Are we done now?”

Chris swallows, “Actually, no…uh, he told me what happened when he came to find you at Ford’s.”

Jensen looks at him in surprise and sits up fully, pulling his feet down from the coffee table where they’d been resting, “Which was what exactly? Jensen asks, his voice a little unsteady.

“Like I said, he was convinced something was going on with someone, with…,” he lowers his eyes and pauses before looking back at his friend, “Colin. It seemed totally impossible and I told him that, but then you…”

“I _what?_ ” he asks, clearly rattled.

“You were saying his name in your sleep last night, and some other things…odd things, man, then when you factor in how touchy you got about his crush on you. Then Jared telling me how defensive Colin was when Jared was at the bar. I don’t wanna believe it, man, but…” he leaves his sentence there, not really knowing what else to say until he has some reaction from his friend. Jensen has visibly paled and is staring at Chris with his mouth open, breathing in and out quickly through his mouth, “Jen, what’s going on?”

§

Jensen can feel a cold fear spread through his veins. He’s stunned into silence for a moment before Chris’ words slowly filter through the fog in his brain. For the second time he’s been mumbling Colin’s name in his sleep, and what did Chris mean by “other things”? He can feel his hands shaking so his puts his beer down and picks up the full shot glass off the table and throws it back, the burn of it making his throat feel like it’s closing up even more than it already is.

The weight of Chris’ question hits him, then, like a punch in the gut. He’s feeling lightheaded from the tequila and shock but he knows he has to say something, “There wasn’t anything going on,” he replies, hearing the shake in his own voice. It’s the truth, so why does it seem so hard to say? He looks at Chris who’s frowning at him, “I swear, there was nothing going on with Colin then, just a harmless crush.”

“Hell, everyone knows Colin has a crush on you, even his mom!” Chris’ eyes widen a little as he looks at Jensen, “you just said…you said nothing going on _then_ …that kinda makes it sounds like there’s something _now_.”

Jensen’s heart is beating a tattoo of _Shit, shit, shit_!

“Damn it, Jen, tell me you’re not screwing around with some twelve year old!” Chris shouts.

“He’s fifteen,” Jensen yells back, feeling an irrational need to correct his friend. He pushes to his feet and snaps, defiantly, “and it was just a blow job!” As soon as the words leave his lips he slaps both hands over his mouth, but it’s too late.

_Oh fuck_!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not overly happy with this chapter, but I wanted to move the story on for you guys. I hope you liked it, anyway! :)


	9. Chapter 9

Chris can hardly believe his ears, Jensen can’t have _meant_ what he just said, surely! “Say what, now?” he asks in disbelief.

Jensen is frozen to the spot, eyes wide with shock. His friend makes no move to answer him and Chris takes a step forward and waves a hand in front of Jensen’s face. Nothing, so he gently reaches out to Jensen’s shoulder, hesitantly as you would with a frightened animal, “Jen?”

Eventually Jensen blinks and takes a step back, wincing as if Chris’s touch physically pains him, “I gotta go,” he rasps, looking around frantically for his jacket and keys.

Chris cuts him off before he can get to the door, “Hey, you’re going nowhere, Jenny, you’re not in any fit state. Sit!” he demands, firmly guiding his friend back to the sofa. Jensen doesn’t put up any kind of resistance, simply sits down and stares at the coffee table. Something’s wrong, Chris has never seen Jensen acting like this and he’s starting to get worried.

Chris sits on the coffee table opposite Jensen and waits for him to speak. His friend opens his mouth countless times, as if trying to find the right words, but says nothing for a long time. Eventually the younger man looks at him and as if that one action is what breaks him, he hunches forward and sobs. He’s quiet, his shoulders shaking and tears pouring down his face. Chris is desperate for answers, but the twist of pain in his chest from seeing his friend so broken means his lecture will have to wait.

Eventually, Jensen is sniffing quietly, wiping tears and snot from his face. He’s visibly shaken but seems calmer now, the look on his face telling Chris that he’s resigned to having the conversation whether he wants to or not.

“Sorry,” he says with a shrug, “guess that’s been a long time coming.” Chris isn’t sure whether Jensen means the crying, the situation with Colin, or the one with Jared. He suspects it’s a combination of everything, as well as the alcohol Jensen’s put away.

Chris sighs deeply, readying himself for the conversation because this isn’t exactly easy for him, either. He doesn’t want to believe that his best friend could be stupid enough to be screwing a teenager. He pushes up from the table and moves around the other side of it, folds his arms across his chest and looks at Jensen, expectantly, “You gotta talk to me, man, explain what the fuck you just said!”

Jensen shrugs and Chris is annoyed by the gesture, how casual it seems under the circumstances, but keeps his annoyance to himself…for now.

Jensen pours himself another shot and drinks it before continuing. “What’s to explain? You want all the gory details?” his voice is dripping with sarcasm. He sighs then, pinching the bridge of his nose, “sorry, that was out of order.”

“Ya think?” Chris snaps.

Jensen offers a weak smile and scoots forward on the couch, pours another shot but doesn’t drink it, as if he’s saving it for courage later. Chris isn’t sure whether more booze is a good idea, but he doesn’t want to break Jensen’s seemingly relaxed posture. He _knows_ Jensen is anything but relaxed, but he looks so lost, so Chris doesn’t comment.

“Where do you want me to start?”

“Better start at the beginning,” Chris sits on the arm of his chair, “and you’re gonna have to be honest with me, son.”

Jensen nods, “Yeah, I know and I will.”

Chris’ stomach twists, this conversation could be about to change their relationship forever. He can’t help but wonder if Jen’s been keeping a secret from him about his sexual preferences all these years, and if so, wouldn't - _shouldn't_ \- Chris have noticed? He shakes it off, he’ll have time for questions later.

§

Jensen stares at the floor trying to find the words to sum up what’s been going on in his life and his head for the last year. His head is swimming, he’s furious with himself for letting his mouth run away with him about Colin, but at the same time, he’s relieved. He’s been trying to wrap his head around this thing for months, so maybe actually saying the words out loud will help. To Chris is probably seems like it came out of nowhere, but Jensen’s been keeping his feelings in all this time and he was going to have to discuss it sooner or later.

“You already know about things between me and Jared…”

Chris shakes his head, “Actually, no I don’t. I know things have been rough but you never told me details, I figured you would when you were ready.”

Jensen realises then that Chris is right, there’d been so many things that he’d thought that can of worms was best left tightly sealed. “I don’t know where to start with that, man. We just…drifted, I guess. I can’t think of any one thing that set it off, it’s like it was everything and anything,” he rubs his temples and tries to think about timescales, “Things started changing a year ago, probably a little more. Going back to school was the only thing Jared wanted and it was hard at first, you know? All the studying, me working extra to cover the money Jared lost from cutting his hours at the book store.”

“You said you were fine with him going back,” Chris said, his tone gentle, almost prompting.

“I was fine with it, I still am, it’s what he wants and I support that. He’s got balls to do it, it’s not easy being ten years older than everyone else,” Jensen thinks back to how Jared was scared and excited about it all for practically his first month, and feels himself smiling even now at Jared’s enthusiasm, and how it never wavered. It’s so typically _Jared_ to throw himself into it with everything he’s got, it’s one of the things Jensen loves about him. “I was so proud of him, you know?” He doesn’t look at Chris now, it’s easier to just keep going. “There’s no denying that it took a toll, though. We were both tired all the time, it was an effort to go out like we used to, even just for dinner or a movie. We started fighting all the time and knowing that we both should make more effort to spend time together just made it worse because we knew it’d only lead to more fights.”

“Didn’t you talk about it,” Chris asks, curiously, “We all know how Jared is for pushing us all to talk!”

Jensen shrugs and starts picking at a thread on his jeans, “We did at first but it just ended up in even more arguments, then when we got to the stage when we stopped having sex, it was too much. Easier to just go about our lives, independently.”

Chris scoffs, “Sex ain’t everything, son.”

Jensen glares at him, “ _I know that_ , it’s not just about the sex, asshat. We stopped being intimate…like, _at all_. You know how touchy feely Jared is, so sitting on the couch next to him and not having him pressed up against my side, or with his hand on my thigh like we always have, it hurt. I tried so many times just to move closer, but he just kept pulling away. What are you supposed to do with that?”

The memory of it all is making Jensen’s chest tight and heavy. He stands and opens the living room window, letting the breeze blow over him, cooling his heated skin. He hears Chris shuffling and then the ‘psssht’ of bottles being opened. He turns to see Chris slide fully into his chair, beer in hand, and nods to the other one on the table. Jensen goes back, picks the bottle up and sits heavily on the couch.

“He was pulling away more and more and I didn’t know what to do to make it right. Talking stopped being an option so we went on like that for, I dunno, maybe six months or so. Then…” he takes a long drink of his beer, letting it cool his tightening throat, “then you and I started going to Ford’s.” He glances at Chris, waiting for him to say something…what, he doesn’t know, but waiting all the same.

Chris leans forward, a frown of concentration on his face, “You seemed fine with it at the time.”

Jensen huffs out a laugh, hearing the bitterness in it without him saying a word.

“Then you got…shifty.”

Jensen runs his hands through his hair, tugging on it in frustration. _This is it, Ackles, spit it out!_ , he thinks to himself. He takes another swig of his beer, “Shifty, yeah. Something like that,” he looks at Chris, then the floor, then back at Chris, “like you said, Colin’s crush was obvious. Kind of adorable, actually, gave me a real ego boost, you know?”

Chris nodded and shrugged with one shoulder, “I get that, man, but…” he shook his head and Jensen can see he’s not the only one looking for the right words.

Neither of them said anything for a while and the air was thick with tension. Jensen could feel sweat across his forehead, down his neck, chest and upper lip, his heartbeat picking up the longer he sat there until he _had_ to speak, “I was scared shitless,” he says in a quiet voice, “when I realised I actually found him hot,” he swallows, a stabbing pain forming behind his eyes from the stress the memory and words are causing, “there’s no harm in looking and noticing in passing that someone’s good looking, we’ve all done that, right?”

Chris sighs, “Of course, but Jen, he’s fift-”

Jensen cuts him off before he goes any further, “Do you think I didn’t tell myself that? Jesus, Chris, you have no idea how much it was eating me up inside. I was disgusted with myself,” he feels tears prickling his eyes again and looks at Chris hoping he’ll see the honesty on his face, “I know full well how old… _young_ he is,” he pauses, trying to find the words, again, “c’mon, man, you know me, you know I’ve always had a thing for _older_ guys, not younger ones.”

“Yeah,” Chris nods, “until Jared.”

Jensen tuts and angrily slams his beer on the table, “Don’t do this, Chris, Jared’s four years younger. You want answers about Colin, well I’m trying, here, so quit being a jackass!” he snaps, pulling on his hair again. He takes a deep breath, holding it in until his lungs burn, then lets it out with a groan, “I tried to ignore it, pretend like there was nothing there and it worked…for about five minutes. The more I tried not to look, the more I ended up doing it, especially when he noticed me doing it. I swear he made it his mission to torture me with ‘casually’ touching me, brushing my arm when he put the food down on the table, pressing closer than necessary whenever he could. It was driving me crazy and guilty all at once. I kept leaving the bar sick to my stomach, I felt like I was the world’s biggest pervert, Chris,” he hears his voice breaking, “I never touched him,” he makes sure his friend is looking at him so he knows Jensen’s still being honest with him, “ I moved as far away as possible when he was near me. When I saw him trying to move closer, I backed off and chatted to him. I figured I was reacting physically to him because I was horny so I left, took myself out of the way where I didn’t have to see him.”

“But?” Chris asks.

Jensen scrubs his face with hand, “But it didn’t go away, it just got worse. I’m telling you, man, he’s different. He’s got an old head on his shoulders, he’s really smart, funny, too. It’s easy to talk to him, he’s…just _different_ , I can’t explain it any better than that.”

“So he’s different, but how the fuck do you go from thinking his crush is adorable to,” he waves his hand at Jensen’s crotch, his face pinched, disapproval coming off him in waves.

“I don’t know!” Jensen yells, “I didn’t even think about it when I went to the bar after walking in on,” he feels a new wave of anger, “Jared, like I did,” he wipes away a tear that’s started to fall, “I was fucked up in the head, Colin was there, looking like he does, all in my personal space and he was _pushing_ and…”

Chris slams his hand down on the table, “So you’re putting this on Colin?” he stares at Jensen with an outraged look, “you’re saying he forced you?”

“Jesus, _no_ ,” Jensen yells louder, jumping up off the couch and stepping towards Chris, “I’m not saying that at all, I’m saying … _fuck_ …it was my fault for being weak, for not pushing him away like I should. That’s on _me_ and I _know_ that. I’m the adult and I should’ve put a stop to it.”

“You’re damn right you should!” Chris shouts, also standing now and staring Jensen down.

Jensen’s breathing’s speeding up and he’s getting chest pains, “What’s done is done,” he pants, finding it harder and harder to breathe, “I can’t change the fact that I want…,” the room is spinning now, “him around… don’t care what…” he doesn’t finish his sentence. He feels pain flaring through his head it hits the floor along with the rest of his body, then there’s only blackness.

§

Chris is so caught up in his incomprehension and anger that it takes him longer than it should do to react when Jensen passes out. As soon as the situation sinks in, he rushes over to where his friend lies. He calls Jensen’s name, panic rising as when he doesn’t respond. He shakes him by the shoulders, repeatedly taps on Jensen’s cheek trying to wake him but nothing’s working. Jensen’s head rolls to the side slightly and that’s when Chris see the blood.

Numbly he pulls out his phone and calls 911. It’s like Chris’ head is full of fog as he watches the paramedics work on Jensen, as he climbs into the ambulance and as they set off to the Emergency Room, sirens blaring.

§

Colin is humming along to a song on the radio and cutting limes into wedges ready for the tequila night later, when his mom comes back from her grocery run. “Get everything you wanted?” he asks, cheerfully.

“Uh huh,” Carol says as she starts unpacking the shopping, “the traffic was held up by an ambulance, though. I’m almost certain I saw Chris Kane climbing into the back of it, I hope everything’s OK.”

Colin’s head whips around to look at her so fast he feels pain shooting down his neck, “What?” he says as a cold fear trickles down his spine, “who was in it, who’s hurt?” when he gets no reply he takes a step towards her, “MOM!”

She turns to him, startled, “Baby, what’s wrong?”

Colin doesn’t waste time answering her, he can’t speak through the sharp pang of worry in his chest. His feet feel like they’re suddenly made of lead and he almost trips over in his rush to get to the door. He can hear his mom shouting his name, “I have to go, I have to make sure…” he calls over his shoulder, already picturing the quickest route to the hospital in his mind as he runs.

§

Jared is sat on the bed staring at the empty dresser drawers when his phone rings. Jensen left, he actually left. Tears dried on Jared’s cheeks hours ago but he still can’t bring himself to move. His head throbs from crying, from the realisation that every fight and every sleepless night in the last year has been leading up to this. He knew deep down that this would happen if he and Jensen couldn’t get their act together, but now it’s happened, it hurts more than he ever imagined it was possible for a person to hurt.

He almost ignores the phone, he’s not sure he can face speaking to anyone, but when it goes off for the third time in a row, he has no choice. “Hello, this is Dr. Sam Ferris,” a woman’s voice says, “I’m calling from St. Thomas’ hospital, am I speaking to Jared Padalecki?”

“Yes,” he says, his voice almost gone from the crying and shouting he’s done in the last few hours.

“We have you down as emergency contact for Jensen Ackles. He’s been brought into the ER here, can you come down as soon as you can, please?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My muse decided it needed another plot twist, because it's evil. This has thrown me off course now, so I think we'll be looking at an extra chapter. *kicks muse for interfering with the porn*


	10. Chapter 10

Chris shifts on the hard plastic chair in the waiting room, trying to get some feeling back in his ass cheeks. They took Jensen through the ominous looking double doors half an hour ago and no-one will tell him shit, because he’s not Jensen’s emergency contact or a family member. Why didn’t he lie and say they were brothers, or some damn thing?

He’s debating whether to get a coffee or not when the doors swing open and Jared comes running in. He spots Chris almost immediately and approaches with a worried look on his face.

“What’s going on?”

Chris shakes his head, “No idea, they won’t tell me a thing,” he points to a stern looking nurse behind the desk, “you’ll have to ask her. You’re listed on Jen’s insurance paperwork so they’ll only talk to you or his parents, and I didn’t want to worry them until we had more info.”

Jared nods, “Yeah, good call. Hang on, I’ll be right back.”

Chris watches as Jared approaches the desk and speaks to the nurse. After what Chris assumes is confirming Jensen’s details, medical history and such, Jared calls him over.

“This is Christian Kane, my partner’s…uh, Jensen’s best friend, you have my permission to discuss any details with him.”

The nurse nods and taps on her keyboard. Chris watches as his name appears on the screen, then he turns to Jared, “So what did they tell you?”

“Not much, he’s having tests,” before he can say more, a woman’s voice comes from behind them.

“Mr. Padalecki?”

Both men turn, “That’s me, how is he?” Jared replies.

“I’m Dr. Ferris, we spoke on the phone,” she holds her arm out towards the door she’s just come through, “if you’d like to step this way, I’ll fill you in.”

Chris follows Jared down a brightly lit corridor. There are rooms on either side of it, most with blinds drawn and each room gives off the sound of beeping monitors. Dr. Ferris stops about four feet away from a room at the far end and turns to face them.

“Before we go in, I should prepare you. Mr. Ackles is sleeping right now, which is the best thing for him.”

Chris’ stomach turns, prepare them for what? Jared voices that very thought before Chris can open his mouth.

Dr. Ferris gives them a reassuring smile, “It’s not as bad as it looks, the bandages on his head are just to keep the wound sterile.”

Chris puts a hand on Jared’s shoulder, “Dr.,” he says, “Jared wasn’t there when Jensen collapsed but I was. I think we should take a step back and fill him in.”

“Can I see him?” Jared interrupts, with tears in his eyes.

Chris feels a stab of hurt in his chest, “I’m not sure he’d want to see you right now, buddy.” He says, honestly. Jared nods, looking dejected and a tear slips down his cheek. Chris squeezes his shoulder, relieved when Jared doesn’t pull away. Chris is trying to keep the peace, not hurt Jared, and thankfully the younger man seems to understand that.

“OK,” Jared says with a sniff, “tell me everything.”

Dr. Ferris points to a room on the opposite side of the corridor, “Come on, we can sit down in here where it’s more private,” once they’re all seated, she continues, “Mr. Kane tells me that before Jensen collapsed he was displaying several symptoms but that under the circumstances, it was hard to notice at the time.”

Chris looks at Jared, pre-empting the question, “We were arguing. Jensen was upset, angry…very agitated. Now I think back on it, he was bright red in the face, sweating, he seemed to be having trouble breathing, he was going a little wobbly and he kept touching his face and head like he does when he gets one of those bad headaches, you know?”

Jared nods, knowing what Chris means. Jensen’s been getting headaches more and more often in the last six months or so, “What actually happened?” he asks, the worry clear in his voice.

“Well,” Dr. Ferris says, softly, “from what we can tell, Mr. Ackles experienced a severe panic attack, and collapsed. That’s not unusual for someone who’s been in a prolonged state of physical and emotional stress, the body can only take so much. His condition has been complicated by the head wound he sustained when he fell.”

“How bad is it?” he and Jared ask at the same time.

“We’ve done a full range of tests. We’ve checked his heart and apart from some mild arrhythmia which is consistent with his levels of stress, there’s no other issues, so we’re not concerned about there being an underlying cause. He’s had a CT scan to check for any complications from the bang to his head, and that’s all clear. He has a concussion, so we’re keeping him overnight for observation, especially as he’s consumed a large quantity of alcohol.”

“You need bandages for a concussion?” Chris asks, confused.

“No,” she replies, “Mr. Ackles has a four inch laceration on his scalp which we’ve repaired with surgical staples, and that wound needs to be kept sterile and covered, that’s why there’s bandages.”

“So he’s going to be OK?” Jared asks, his voice quiet and strained.

Dr. Ferris nods, “We don’t foresee any reason why he shouldn’t be released tomorrow.

Both men breathe a sigh of relief. Chris can’t shake the feeling that he should’ve known something was wrong, even though rationally he knows that there was nothing he could’ve done. On the face of it, Jensen was totally riled up, but given everything that’s happened this weekend, it’s understandable.

Dr. Ferris continues speaking, “He’ll have to come back in seven to ten days to have the staples removed, and he’ll have a headache for a couple of days, but we’re confident he’ll be fine after that. We’re giving him pain relief now, and we can administer a mild sedative if he becomes anxious again. He’s going to have to take it easy from now on, though, he needs to reduce his stress levels or he’s at risk of more panic attacks. Next time he may be driving, so he should count himself lucky, today.”

“No stress, yeah, right” Chris says, quietly, more for his own benefit as he reflects on how Jensen’s current situation could in any way be more stressful…it doesn’t bear thinking about.

“You can see him now, if you want to,” Dr. Ferris says, “if you have any questions, ask a nurse to page me and I’ll be with you as soon as I can.”

“Thanks,” he and Jared both say.

Chris turns to Jared who has his head in his hands, now. “Are you gonna be OK to drive, Jay, or do you want me to give you a ride home?”

“I’ll be fine,” he sighs, “I should call Alan and Donna.”

“I can do it if you like,” Chris offers, trying to spare Jared any more upset. There’s no way that Jensen’s parents won’t know that something else is going on, and Chris figures the guy’s been through enough in the last day or so.

“It’s fine,” Jared says as he stands, “I’ll do it while I’m here, then I’ll head home. Thanks, man, I appreciate everything you’re doing. I take it he’s staying with you?”

Chris nods, there’s no point keeping it from him, “Yeah, for as long as he needs to. Are you gonna be OK?”

Jared smiles sadly, “Gotta be, man, no other choice.” He walks out of the room, straight back down the corridor. Chris sees him hesitate ever so slightly, as if deciding whether to see Jensen anyway, but then he leaves.

Chris stands and crosses the hall to Jensen’s room. He sits in the chair next to the bed and looks at his friend. The white bandage makes his friends skin look even paler, the dark circles under his eyes telling of how little sleep Jensen must’ve gotten over the last few weeks. Chris feels another stab of guilt that he didn’t notice how stressed Jensen was, but then again, until today he had no idea just what Jensen had been dealing with. No wonder the guy had a panic attack!

Jensen mumbles slightly in his sleep, unintelligible words that Chris is too tired to try and work out. He slips out of his jacket and covers his chest with it, getting as comfortable as possible. He’ll stay until Jensen wakes, then go home, there’s nothing more he can do for his friend at the moment.

§

Colin is sweating and breathless when he reaches the hospital, from the exertion of running, worry over whether it was Jensen in the ambulance, and what may have happened to him.

He stands outside, catching his breath a little before heading in. As soon as he’s inside, he’s hit with a fresh wave of panic, this time over the fact that he has no idea what he’s going to say once he gets to the desk. _Hi there, I’m not sure but I think someone I know_ may _have been brought in by ambulance, but I don’t really know because I’m the idiot who just ran twenty minutes over here instead of calling to find out_ , yeah, that’s bound to work, he thinks, mentally facepalming himself.

A dozen or so steps into the waiting area and he spots Jared sat on one of the crappy chairs. He’s on the phone, hunched almost double and rubbing his temple. Struck with a new panic, not wanting to be seen, Colin quickly sits in one of the chairs with his back to Jared. He grabs a magazine off the table and pretends to read, as he listens to Jared talking to who the teen assumes can only be Jensen’s parents.

His pulse races as he hears what’s happened, and eventually slows once he’s heard that Jensen will be fine. He’s flooded with relief and lets out a deep breath, closing his eyes and waiting for the throbbing in his head to subside.

He hears movement behind him and quickly pulls the magazine up to his face as Jared walks passed him, out of the door. He flings the magazine down, not caring whether it landed on the table or not, and practically runs to the information desk.

The next few minutes are a blur of nervousness as he puts all his effort into telling the most convincing lie he can think of – he’s here to see his ‘Uncle’ Jensen. He nods and smiles politely when the nurse says Jensen can only have one visitor at a time, desperately wanting to just run in and see Jensen for himself and make sure he’s really OK. She says a friend is with him, which must be Chris.

He sits back down in the waiting room, his stomach churning. Being so close to Jensen and yet so far away feels like his insides are being torn out, scrambled up and pushed back in again. He’s watching the double doors for any sign of Chris, so that as soon as he leaves, Colin can go in. He’s terrified that the nurse will tell Chris he’s there, but when he looks over, she seems to be too busy flirting with one of the doctors to take any notice of what’s going on around her.

He wrings his hands, nervously, pulling his sweat drenched t-shirt away from his skin. Now he just has to wait for his chance to see Jensen.

 

§

The first time Jensen wakes, he does it without even opening his eyes. They hurt too much and there’s a pain in his head in addition to the dull throb he’s had for months. He feels like he’s been hit by a truck…a very large truck. His body feels sore, aching and unusually _heavy_ for some reason. He’s in that half-awake place where he’s not fully aware of his surroundings, but is aware of some things. Like the echoing of something beeping in the distance, a low buzzing like a fluorescent light and people talking in quiet tones somewhere far away. There’s something that feels tight on one of his fingers and he feels an itch on his chest like something’s sticking to it and pulling the hairs. He’s so tired, though, and he goes back to sleep quickly.

The second time, he _does_ open his eyes because someone’s saying his name. There’s a woman stood next to him with a clipboard, scribbling something down. He blinks slowly, trying to place his surroundings through the heaviness he feels. As things start to come into focus, he realises it’s a hospital. He looks down and sees that he’s wearing a gown, and is attached to all kinds of wires. He starts to sit up and the woman – a nurse, he realises – is telling him to lie still, that’s he’s going to be fine and that he should go back to sleep. He doesn’t want to lie still, he wants to know what the fuck is going on, but his eyes feel as heavy as the rest of him and although he wants to fight it, he feels himself going back to sleep.

 

§

Chris fidgets in the uncomfortable chair. His ass and lower back have long since gone numb, and he’s in caffeine withdrawal. He looks at Jensen’s sleeping form, and wills him to wake up. He knows it won’t do any good but he’s concerned that his friend had almost surfaced twice in the last hour but never quite made it to full alertness. He knows, rationally, that his friend is going to be fine – physically at least – but he still wants to hear Jensen’s voice. 

Footsteps grabs his attention and he looks up to find Dr. Ferris approaching, “Hey Doc, how’s it looking?” he asks.

She checks the monitors and his chart, “He’s doing well, he obviously needs the rest,” she smiles reassuringly, “try not to worry, he’ll wake up when he’s ready.”

Chris breathes a sigh of relief, it’s good to hear the confirmation, “Is there anything we can do in the meantime?”

“Not for Mr. Ackles, no,” she raises and eyebrow, “ _you_ look like you could use a coffee, though.”

“Yeah,” Chris says, wearily and scrubs his hands over his face. He’s feeling the effects of the booze as well as his own stress, and he really could use the pick me up,” I’ll head out and get one.”

His legs feel heavy as he heads to the waiting room, fishing change out of his pocket as he goes. He glances around the room, briefly, but is too focussed on getting caffeine to take any real notice of his surroundings. He doubles up on coffee to save coming back out and makes his way back to Jensen’s bedside.

He’s about half way down his first coffee when Jensen’s breathing changes. Chris’ heart speeds up and he stands, putting his coffee on the side and moving forward to grip Jensen’s hand. Jensen’s eyes flicker before slowly opening blinking to focus before they finally settle on Chris.

“It’s about damn time,” Chris says, attempting to sound annoyed but he’s too relieved to pull it off. He presses the call button while Jensen licks his lips, then brings the cup of ice chips his friend’s mouth, holding it steady while Jen takes a few sips.

“I smell coffee,” Jensen croaks, “I hope it’s for me.”

Chris laughs and squeezes Jensen’s hand, “If I’d known that’s all it took to wake you up, I’d have got ‘em to put it in your IV.”

Dr. Ferris enters the room, smiling when she sees Jensen and helps him sit, “Hello Mr. Ackles, it’s nice to finally see you awake. How are you feeling?”

Jensen starts fiddling with the wires on his IV and Chris slaps his hand away, earning him a glare from the younger man, “Like I’ve been chewed up by something big and angry and spat back out again. What happened and when can I get outta here?”

Chris sighs, “Typical! You just woke up, man,” he pauses as Jensen starts pulling at the bandage on his head, and slaps his friend’s arm.

“Ow, lemme alone, Kane!” he mumbles before looking at the doctor.

“You’re staying overnight, Mr. Ackles, we want to keep an eye on you. You had quite a bump to the head so we need to be safe.”

Chris sits again, “So that means lie back down and _rest_ , the talking can wait,” he winces as Jensen’s face pales and Chris assumes he’s remembered their last talk, “don’t stress out, son, that’s what put you in here.” Jensen swallows but doesn’t break eye contact so Chris continues, “We both got worked up, we’ll sort it out when you get home, OK?” he says, patting the back of Jensen’s hand.

Jensen doesn’t look convinced but nods, anyway, “Do I get my coffee now?”

§

After Chris leaves, Jensen waits for the painkillers to start easing the throb in his head. He can feel the other drugs they gave him starting to make his limbs heavy and is relaxing into it when there’s a tap at the door. He looks over to see the nurse approaching with a smile on her face, “There’s someone outside that would like to see you if you’re feeling up to it?”

Jensen frowns, Chris is supposed to have left, but before he can ask who it is he hears footsteps and looks over to see Colin standing behind the nurse. He looks terrified, worried and relieved all at once. Jensen’s heartbeat soars and he starts to panic again, “Colin, what are you…?” he’s cut off by six feet of teenager clinging to his chest.

“Your nephew’s been here since you were admitted but I’m afraid I can only give you five minutes or I’ll be in trouble.”

“Thank you,” Colin says, before Jensen can speak, not looking at the nurse as she leaves the room.

Jensen manages to get his heavy limbs to co-operate enough to stop the teen from crushing him, “ _What the hell_ , Colin?” he almost squeaks.

“I _had_ to see you, Jen, I was _so_ worried,” he says, his voice breaking and tears running down his cheeks.

It makes Jensen’s head pound more and he feels a stab in his chest. He automatically brings his arms up around Colin and holds him, threading his hand through the teen’s hair, “I’m OK,” he whispers. He knows he should send Colin away but Jensen’s so tired and Colin feels so good in his arms. It seems like the most natural thing in the world when he places a kiss on Colin’s forehead, and then on his lips when the teen lifts his face.

Colin holds on tighter and lets out a noise that’s a cross between a sob, a whimper and a laugh, “I knew it was just a matter of time before I got you into bed,” Jensen tries to swat him but he’s floating towards sleep, a small smile on his face. A whispered, “I love you, Jensen” makes its way through the fog of drugs and sends warmth spread through his chest.

“Time’s up,” he hears, vaguely, and is disappointed when Colin’s body leaves his. He feels cold, empty and alone. Just before he finally succumbs to sleep, he vows that he’ll never be without Colin again, no matter what.

§

Colin turns his phone on with a feeling of dread. His mom had called three times while he was in the waiting room, and sent seven texts, all demanding to know where he is and what’s going on. All he could think about was Jensen, his mom would be a distraction and he needed to be on alert for Chris leaving, so he’d shut his phone off.

He’s busy watching notifications popping up on-screen so doesn’t notice the figure approaching him until he smacks into them, “Shit, I’m sorry,” he says, scrambling on the floor to pick up his phone. He lifts his head and is met with a face so furious that he reflexively steps back, “M-m-mom?” he’s shocked into stuttering.

Carol is glaring at him and is red in the face. Colin doesn’t ever recall seeing her so angry, even after his dad left. He gulps, trying to push down the rising panic as his heart feels like it’s trying to escape through his ribcage, failing miserably when he looks passed her to see Chris standing there.

The teen winces as Carol grips him hard by the upper arm, and with a strength he didn’t know she possessed, drags him towards the car. As they pass Chris, Colin tries through his panic to decipher the look on his face, but the older man won’t meet his eyes. A cold sense of dread spreads through Colin’s body, making him want to vomit, but he manages not to…for now.

“Mom,” he say, trying to sound calm, “what are you doing here?”

“I could ask you the same thing,” Carol snaps, pushing him towards the passenger side door, “you and I need to have a serious talk, young man.”


	11. Chapter 11

Colin opens the car door with trembling, sweaty hands. He slides into the seat feeling numb and dazed. What the hell did Chris tell her? She’s clearly furious but she’s not saying a word, which makes him worry even more. His mouth has gone completely dry, so before he can speak he has to unglue it from the roof of his mouth, “Mom,” he hates how small and _young_ his voice sounds, “what’s going on? What did you talk to Chris about?”  
  
Carol keeps facing forward, though the way she squeezes the steering wheel, and the pinched look on her face tells him she’s heard his question. Still she says nothing, and it’s torture. They continue the full drive home in silence and as cowardly as he knows it is, Colin drags out getting inside the bar as long as he can. It’s early evening now and the place is getting busy with people eating, and starting to pile in for the tequila night. For a second he thinks _at least mom won’t go_ totally _ballistic with all those people around_ , until reality creeps in – they can barely hear the noises from the bar in their apartment above, so the opposite must be true. His mom can scream herself hoarse and he’s likely the only one that will hear!  
  
“Get yourself drinks and snacks from down here,” Carol snaps, “because you’re not setting foot outside your bedroom for the rest of the night, except to use the bathroom.”  
  
Colin freezes, apprehension running through him. He’s just being banished to his room? Does that mean he won’t be strung up by his balls…or will she save that fate for Jensen? “Shit!” he mutters under his breath.  
  
“NOW!” Carol barks, and he almost runs behind the bar. He grabs the first things he sees, tortilla chips, pork rinds, pretzels and peanuts, then takes his sweet time about pouring himself a jug of Coke. He’s stalling, they both know that, as sure as he knows full well there’s Coke upstairs, but hello, he’s potentially about to get the ass whooping of his life, can you blame him?  
  
When he can’t drag it out any longer, Colin starts up at the stairs to their apartment. With each breath feels like he’s taking a step closer to the gallows. He spilling Coke, dribbles running down the side of the jug and his fingers. Even though the liquid is cold, his mind flashes with images of how often he’s imagined that the come running over his fingers when he’s jerked off was Jensens instead of his own. He stops mid step because that is _so_ not appropriate right now, but his cock gives a firm twitch anyway. As poor as the timing is, it makes Colin think about the fact that there’s hardly a day goes by where he can’t relate _something_ to Jensen, sexual or not. He’d be annoyed with himself for being so sappy if he wasn’t scared shitless that he may never get to see Jensen again, depending on how this conversation goes!  
  
As he walks into the living room he’s sweating, his heart is thundering and his stomach seems to have hatched an entire swarm of butterflies, never mind just the few he normally gets when he thinks of Jensen. Carol’s footsteps behind him are close and he can hear her breathing through her nose…a sure fire way to know that she’s trying to remain calm. This does nothing to calm Colin’s own nerves and he can feel himself shaking more, now.  
  
He speeds up now, moving as far away from his mom as possible. He knows Carol would never hit him, but these are hardly normal circumstances. He swallows the bile that’s making its way up his gullet, burning his nose and throat as it does. He wants to scream out, to defend himself and Jensen, but at the same time he doesn’t want to give her any information she doesn’t already have. He’s not ashamed of his feelings for Jensen, it’s just that he needs time to prepare himself mentally for the coming out about it…and he’d really rather not face the music alone.  
  
How mad can she really be, he wonders. He and Jensen haven’t done anything more than that blow job and he almost got that far with that Sprayberry kid from school. They stopped at quick hand jobs but if they hadn’t been interrupted it would’ve led to more. He doubts that his mom would be too worried about that, but Jensen? Colin’s no fool, as much as he’d like to think it could be a fair comparison, he knows it’s far from it.  
  
  
This is it, time to do or die!

§

  
Carol walks behind her son, head swimming with what Chris told her and the whole situation with Colin’s behaviour over the last couple of days. He’s been seemingly jubilant one minute the depressed and angry the next. She’s never seen him act violently so punching the wall was totally unexpected, and then there was the pure misery afterwards as he sobbed his heart out. Now he’d just taken off, no thought for anything but…whatever the fuck was going through his addled brain! Only after an hour of worrying did she put two and two together and assume that Colin must have gone to the hospital so she’d jumped in the car and gone over there. Then she’d seen Chris and the situation has grown even more… complicated.  
  
She stands now in the centre of the living room, hands on hips as she watches Colin put his stash on the coffee table before sitting back a little, rubbing his hands on his thighs and trying to avoid eye contact. That just makes her more angry, the boy may be a teenager but he’s not _stupid_ , he knows better than to try and ignore the problem. She opens her mouth to speak, watching with a sense of dread as Colin seems to fold in on himself. How is she supposed to get through this without bursting a blood vessel?  
  
She shakes her head in a failed attempt to clear the fuzz in there. She feels physically sick, there are so many questions going through her head right now. The potential consequences of what Chris said washing over her in waves, the mental images of what’s going on with her son making her feel like she’s slowly drowning.  
  
A few deep breaths still do nothing to calm her, in fact, her fingers are now tingling with too much oxygen. Instead she takes some shallow ones, not feeling any calmer but knowing she has to get answers. “What were you doing at the hospital?” Her voice sounds a lot more reasonable than she feels.  
  
She watches as Colin visibly pales, scrubbing his hands faster and more desperately across his thighs. She can see a thin sheen of sweat across his forehead and upper lip and part of her wants to comfort her clearly distressed son, but she needs his answer before she can possibly know how to steer the conversation.  
  
“W-w-what do you m-m-mean?” he asks, the stutter he hasn’t had for years re-surfacing, which only makes her stomach feel heavier still.  
  
“What do you mean, _what do I mean_? It’s a simple enough question, Colin” she snaps, “why were you there?”  
  
Colin swallows nervously and again she feels the need to comfort him, but not this time, she’s been more than fair up to this point, she needs to stand her ground and hear the words from him. She folds her arms across her chest to stop her hands from shaking and raises an eyebrow at him.  
  
“What did Chris say?” Colin asks in small voice, and her anger spikes more.  
  
“Don’t answer a question with a question, just _answer it_!”  
  
He licks his lips and sits up straighter, shoulders squared, jaw tensed - and it’s his defensive posture, the same one he’s had since he was three years old, “I went to see Jensen,” he replies.  
  
“Yes, that much I’ve gathered since Chris was there and he told me it was Jensen in the ambulance!” she pinches the bridge of her nose while she decides on the best way to re-phrase, “I guess what I meant was, why is it that you hot footed out of here like your ass was on fire like that, what was so important you couldn’t wait?”  
  
Colin frowns at her, “I just told you, I went to see Jensen, I needed to check he was OK.”  
  
“You _needed_ to?” she asks, feeling like she’s missing something completely obvious. Colin nods and says nothing more, but he looks terrified.  
  
“I had to, Mom,” he whispers, looking right at her like he’s trying to tell her something with just his eyes, “I was so scared. You were so matter of fact about it and I had to get there as quickly as possible…I had to know.”  
  
Carol feels a little guilty then, she had been pretty blasé in mentioning the ambulance, and goes and sits next to him on the couch, “Oh honey, I know you have this whole crush going on, Chris told me that you and Jensen have become close, but…”  
  
“It’s NOT a crush,” Colin shouts, interrupting her, pushing up from his seat and looking down at her. There are tears in his eyes now, “it’s more than that.”  
  
Carol half wants to take him into her arms now, he looks so young and vulnerable, “Sweetheart, I know you think that…“  
  
“I don’t think, I _know_ , we love each other!”  
  
She sighs, then, feeling sorry for her boy, “Baby, just because Jensen talks to you and lets you hang around, it doesn’t mean he loves you. I’m sorry but it just doesn’t work that way.”  
  
Colin is looking at her like she’s just told him unicorns are real. His chest is heaving, his hands are balling into fists at his sides, “Mom, what exactly did Chris say to you?”  
  
“I just told you, he said you’ve become a lot closer,” she frowns, trying to remember, “he also said that Jensen would be comforted by you being there, and that I should try to understand. It was a bit odd, to be honest, it’s like he was apologising for something…” she pauses, her mind racing with the possible scenarios, “Colin, why…” she clears her throat, “why would Jensen want you there? Exactly _how_ close have you two gotten?”  
  
Colin’s shoulders sag but he still looks on edge, tugging at the bottom of his t-shirt, now. He says nothing, not with his mouth, anyway. He looks at her with wide, imploring eyes, begging her to understand…something. Her stomach drops as realisation dawns, fear spreading through her like ice cold water, “Please tell me you don’t mean…has he…” she feels sick, but she has to ask, “has he _touched you_ in any way?”  
  
Colin glares at her, “He’s not done anything I didn’t want him to do,” he says with conviction, “he’s done nothing wrong!”  
  
She can’t believe it, Colin looks for all the world like he fully believes what’s he’s just said. She can feel hot tears running down her face now, “How long has he,” she whispers, fear making it hard to speak, “been making you _do things_?”  
  
His eyes go wide in shock, “Didn’t you hear what I just said? He’s not _making_ me do anything, Mom! You can’t think that of him,” he’s almost begging now, “I swear, he’s not that kind of guy. He didn’t want to do anything at all until I pushed, it was _me_ , I was the one who made the first move. Mom, please, you have to understand, this is so hard for him… we never expected this,” Colin’s crying now, “Jen, he’s in the hospital because of all the stress…”  
  
Carol feels lightheaded as well as nauseous now, her baby is defending this man who’s been taking advantage of him for Christ knows how long! She stands on shaky legs and moves towards him, rubbing the tops of his arms to comfort him, “Listen to me, sweetheart, he’s obviously got you all twisted around. It’s gonna be OK now, you can tell me…I _need_ you to tell me everything, then we can tell the cops.”  
  
She’s shocked when Colin pulls away, abruptly, “NO!” he shouts, “No cops, please Mom, you’re not listening to me…it’s _OK_ , he’s not some kind of monster, we care about each other…we _love_ each other!”  
  
Carol’s breaths are becoming faster and faster, and her heart is pounding in her ears, “Colin, _please_ , you don’t know what you’re saying, it’s not your fault, it’s his…”  
  
Colin steps right up to her then, looking furious. He grabs her by her shoulders and shakes her so hard her teeth rattle, “I know _exactly_ what I’m saying, I know _exactly_ what I want, what we _both_ want.”  
  
“No,” Carol sobs, “Colin, you’re too young to know…”  
  
He cuts her off again, “I’m NOT too young! I _know_ how I feel about Jensen, and I know how he feels about me. I _know_ that I want him to fuck me, Mom, I’ve told him that. I know you won’t want to hear that but it’s the truth. I know my own mind, nobody’s forcing me to do anything, he’s not manipulating me into anything. We’re going to be together, no matter what, do you understand me?”  
  
It’s all too much, she pulls away and just makes it to the bathroom where she throws up, over and over again.  
  


§

  
As he watches his mom dash for the bathroom, Colin stands there, stunned. He feels himself shaking, the adrenaline coursing through his system making his heart work overtime. He’s feeling a little nauseous himself, not helped by the retching sounds Carol’s making.  
  
He sits back down and runs his hands through his hair in frustration. He was so sure that Chris had told Carol everything. Now he wishes he’d been able to talk to his mom properly, like an adult and try and get her to understand. Instead, he reacted with panic, screaming and shouting to be heard. He knows that there’s no way she’s going to just accept the situation. He feels his eyes sting and before he can stop it, tears start falling. He lets them continue to flowl until he hears his mom flush the toilet, then wipes them away with the back of his hand. He stands and takes a few breaths to calm down, waiting for Carol to come back into the room.  
  
When he’s waited fifteen minutes and is feeling sick from worry, he slowly make his way to the bathroom. Carol is leaning on the sink, looking into the mirror with unseeing eyes, “Mom?” he says quietly so as not to startle her. There’s no response so he says it again a little louder. This time she hears him and turns to face him, “I’m sorry you had to find out like that, Mom, I really am, but I meant every word I said.”  
  
Carol starts crying again, small sobs as she looks into his eyes, “I can’t just stand by and let him keep hurting you, it’s so _wrong_ , baby.”  
  
Colin steps forward and wraps his arms around her, hugging her tight, “Mom, he’s not hurting me,” he pulls back and looks her in the eyes, “I promise you, everything that’s happened has happened because we _both_ want it.”  
  
She looks at him, shaking her head, “But it’s _wrong_ ,” she says, over and over.  
  
Colin lets go of her and reaches for the bottle of mouthwash. He fills the cap and hands it to her, saying nothing until she’s finished rinsing, gargling and spitting, then takes her hand and leads her back to the couch. He sits with his body turned towards her and takes her hands back in his, “I know you’re shocked and upset, but can you just wait until we talk to Jensen?” Carol starts to pull away, her mouth opening with what’s bound to be an objection, so he continues speaking, “Do you trust me?”  
  
“Of course I do, baby, but…”  
  
“But nothing, please, Mom, if you trust me then at least let me show you that I can be mature about this. Jen is due out of hospital in the morning, let me talk to him and tell him what’s happened.”  
  
“You’re not going anywhere near him on your own.” she says forcefully, despite the hoarseness of her voice.  
  
Colin sighs, it’s not what he wants but he doesn’t see a way around it, “OK, we’ll both go but promise me you’ll hear us out, _please_ , Mom?” More tears fall down Carol’s cheeks but the can see he’s won…for now, at least.  
  


§

  
Jensen slowly wakes, eyelids fluttering, but he doesn’t want to open them. It could be his imagination, the drugs or the bump on the head but he feels like he still has the weight of Colin in his arms. He can almost feel the heat coming off the teen, soothing him and making him feel relaxed like he hasn’t done in a long time.  
  
He tries to go back to sleep, but he can hear movement and chattering in the distance so eventually he has no choice but to open his eyes. Once he’s managed to focus and push himself up a little, he looks at his watch to find it’s ten o’clock in the morning.  
  
A nurse is heading towards him, smiling brightly, “Good morning, Mr. Ackles, how are you feeling?”  
  
“Like I lost a fight with a baseball bat,” he reaches for the coffee on the tray, ignoring the food completely, “Can I get out of here, soon?”  
  
“Once I’ve checked your stats and you’ve been seen by Dr. Ferris, if she says it’s OK then you should be home in time for a late lunch.”  
  
An hour later he’s sat on the bed waiting for Chris to pick him up. He’s still a little woozy, his head is killing him he’s not looking forward to Chris being mother hen, but he can’t wait to get out of there. After what feels like days, Chris enters his room. “Finally!” Jensen says, already meeting his friend half way so they can get out quicker.  
  
Chris sighs and rolls his eyes, “Anyone ever tell you you’re a terrible patient?”  
  
“Yup,” Jensen replies, not caring one bit, “let’s just go!”  
  
Chris is quiet on the drive home, making Jensen feel like their fight isn’t over. His friend is sighing, opening his mouth as if to speak but then changing his mind.  
  
“Spit it out, Kane, what’s going on?”  
  
Chris looks at him briefly then turns back to concentrate on the road, “I’ll tell you when we get inside.”  
  
Jensen wants to object since they’re pulling into the parking lot, but he decides that it’s best just to wait. At least that way he can have another coffee, some painkillers and hopefully some more sleep.  
  
“Oh shit!” Chris hisses as they get out of the car, nodding over to the entrance of the building.  
  
Jensen follows his line of sight, and spots Colin sat on the wall outside the door. The older man smiles and hurries towards Colin, wanting to get as close as possible as quickly as possible. His smile fades and his stomach drops as he also sees Carol, glaring at him with all her might. _Oh shit!_ is right.  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This turned out to be not the huge bust up that I thought it would (blame the muse), mostly because I didn't think it'd be true to Chris' character to betray his best friend by telling Colin's mum everything. Also, I think that Carol's a hard working single mum who maybe doesn't spend as much time with Colin as she could. I think she needed a wake up call, and if this situation doesn't wake a person up, what will?
> 
> Plus, we've established that I have a sadist streak, so *of course* Jensen is going to bear the brunt of the backlash. Sorry. Not sorry! xD


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My apologies for the delay in writing this chapter. I still hope to have the fic completed within the next week or so, if real life allows! 
> 
> I feel like I need to point out for some readers, that the ultimate pairing for this fic IS Jensen/Colin. It always has been, and as much as I understand that people want J2 to resolve their issues, they ARE over. They were broken a long time before Colin came along. I promise to have them happy together in any J2 fics I write in future! LOL

“We need to talk,” Colin says before Carol can speak. 

With a sense of dread Jensen flicks his eyes between them both, “Uh, I literally just got out of the hospital,” he points to the bandage on his head, mentally kicking himself at the stupidity of the gesture, seeing as the thing could probably be seen from space it’s so white, “is this something that can wait?” He hopes his voice didn’t wobble as much out loud as it did in his head. He chances a quick look at Colin who’s looking all kinds of distressed, and shaking his head quickly as if to say ‘bad idea’.

Jensen takes a step back as Carol glares and starts moving towards him. He’s never seen her look anything other than happy and relaxed, even if a little stressed when the bar’s been really busy, but now she looks _furious_! When she speaks, her voice is aggressive and full of sarcasm, “Oh I don’t know, Jensen, can it? I’m sure you’d like to wait a few days before you start telling me all about how come you’re _fucking my fifteen year old son_ , wouldn’t you?” she’s poking him hard in the chest, repeatedly as she speaks and not making any effort to stop her nails from digging into his flesh.

For a long moment, Jensen’s lost for words. He turns to look at Chris who’s come up beside him, “I’m guessing this is what you wanted to talk about?” Chris nods, looking apologetic and uncomfortable at the same time. Jensen turns back to Carol and tries to focus through the pounding in his head, his dizziness and…well, fear, frankly. He’s scared, there’s no denying that’s how he feels, for several reasons. He takes another step back, out of Carol’s reach – just as a precaution – and then motions to the door, “I think this is a conversation best held in private, don’t you?”

Carol lets out a harsh laugh, “I’m sure you want it kept private, Jensen, I’m sure you don’t want anyone overhearing what a disgusting pervert you are!” she spits with venom, her face getting redder by the minute.

“Mom!” Colin snaps, “You promised you wouldn’t do this,” he’s holding onto her arm, keeping her back from Jensen, “you said you’d hear us out. I told you it’s not like that.”

Chris speaks up before Jensen can reply, “Jen, here’s my key. I’ll give you some privacy, call me when it’s,” he looks at Carol who’s not moved, “safe to come back.” He takes a few steps closer to Carol until their toes are almost touching, “You lay a finger on him and you’ll have me to deal with.”

“Oh this just gets better and better! Not only is your best friend a pervert, you’re _defending him_ , now! I thought you were both decent human beings, guess I was wrong!”

“Enough!” Colin shouts, startling the three of them, “We’re supposed to be talking about this like adults,” he steps up alongside both of them and puts a hand on each of their shoulders, pushing them apart, “nobody’s laying a hand on anyone, we’re going to have a mature discussion about the relationship, am I making myself clear?” When he gets no immediate response, he glares at each of them in turn, “I _said_ , do I make myself clear?” 

Jensen can’t help but let out a surprised laugh, which earns him a harsh look from Colin. The older man is taken aback at how commanding the teen’s voice is, how _calm_ he seems, while Jensen’s here sweating, feeling lightheaded and wanting to throw up, though that’s probably as much to do with the concussion as this situation. He’s proud and impressed all at once, and despite the circumstances, a little turned on. He feels his heat bloom up his neck, quickly rising to his cheeks, and knows from experience that he’ll be almost beetroot in colour. He looks at Colin whose face changes ever so slightly from determined and authoritative, to amused when he sees Jensen’s reaction, which only serves to make the older man blush more. The small smirk is gone in a flash, though, and the teen looks at all of them in turn, again.

Chris agrees first, holding his hands up in a ‘don’t shoot me’ gesture, “Hey man, I’m just trying to help.” Colin nods back and turns to his mom, who says nothing, just shoots Jensen a glare that’s full of contempt.

“Jensen,” Colin’s voice is softer now, “Dr. Ferris said you should avoid stress, so let’s try to keep this as calm as possible, yeah?” He reaches out a hand and places it gently on Jensen’s chest, the warmth of it seeping through the thin cotton of his t-shirt and easing the tenderness from Carol’s prodding. They look at each other for only a moment before Carol grabs hold of Colin’s wrist and pulls it away.

“No touching…there is to be _no touching_ , damn it, do _I_ make myself clear?” she glares at Colin now as he tugs free from her grip.

It all feels too much for Jensen already, his knees are feeling wobbly, he needs to get inside. He says nothing as he claps Chris on the shoulder and walks towards the door, hearing footsteps behind him. Each step makes his head throb more, his chest is starting to feel tight again and his mouth has gone dry. He takes slow, deep breaths in and out through his nose until he reaches the door, unlocks it with shaky hands and slips into the apartment. He makes a beeline for the breakfast bar, sitting on one of the tall stools and putting his head in his hands, massaging his temples to try and ease the ache. 

Jensen hears the door close and footsteps increase their pace, coming closer. He feels the weight of Colin’s hand on his shoulder, and it helps to steady him a little bit. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out the bottle of painkillers, then feels it being pulled from his hand. He looks up at Colin who’s reading the label, intently, “go and sit on the couch, you don’t look steady enough to be on something that high,” he says, quietly. Jensen doesn’t have it in him right now to argue – there’s bound to be plenty of that any minute now – so does as he’s instructed. He sits on the couch, noting with discomfort that Carol is standing opposite him, watching him like a hawk. 

“Can you at least, sit?” he gestures to Chris’ usual chair, “isn’t the condemned man supposed to get a last request?

§

Carol wants to argue, ask Jensen how he dare make jokes about all of this, when a cupboard door slams and she jumps. She notes with some satisfaction that Jensen winces at the sound, holding his head. She’s not a sadistic person by nature, but this bastard has been hurting her son, so she’s not about to feel sorry for him!

Another noise makes her look over to see Colin filling a glass with water. He picks up the bottle of pills and fishes a banana out of the fruit bowl before sitting down next to Jensen and laying them on the coffee table. She watches as her son shakes out pills into Jensen’s palm, hands him the water then peels the banana before shoving it under the man’s nose. Jensen tries to push his arm away but Colin’s insistent, “The label says you’re not to take these on an empty stomach, so _eat_.” The tender way he’s stroking Jensen’s hair as the man sighs but obeys, makes Carol want to puke. She must make some kind of noise because Colin turns to her with a questioning look.

“Mom?” he asks, as if he has no idea that just the sight of her boy showing affection for the man who’s quite probably raping him, is eating her up inside. She feels lightheaded and feels behind her for the seat and drops down onto it, “are you OK?” he asks, and Carol’s stomach rolls when she sees that Colin’s hand is resting on Jensen’s thigh like it _belongs there_.

She blinks at him in disbelief, “Am I _OK_?” she asks, voice shaking with fury and apprehension about the conversation they need to have, “what the fuck is there to be ‘OK’ about? This is ridiculous, I never should’ve agreed to this madness,” she hears herself sobbing, as though she was outside of her body looking on at the scene in the room.

“Carol, please,” Jensen says, quietly, probably more for his own sake for hers, she thinks, “I know this is hard, I wasn’t planning on having this conversation yet, but Colin’s right, we have to talk.”

“Talk?” she snaps, harshly, “What you really mean is that you want to try and brainwash me into thinking _this_ ,” she waves her hand at both of them, “thing, this perverted, _horrible_ thing you’ve been doing to my son is _acceptable_ , somehow. Well it won’t work, I can tell you that now!” she brushes away the tears running down her cheeks, tears caused by anger and fear, and feeling like she’s a terrible mother for allowing this to happen.

Jensen opens his mouth to speak, but Colin squeezes his hand and speaks, himself, “Mom, please, I already told you, Jensen hasn’t done anything to me,” he pauses and squints a little, looking between Jensen and the floor, “in fact, he hasn’t even laid a hand on me for more than a couple of seconds…and that was through my underwear, he didn’t really…”

“Enough!” Carol shouts, a fresh wave of nausea hitting her, “you told me that he wanted to,” she takes a breath, determined for Colin’s sake to get through this, “that he wanted to…fuck you.”

Jensen does object at this point, “No, I never said that, I…” he says, sounding desperate “I told him no!”

Colin immediately speaks again, not a hint of shame or embarrassment on his face, “That’s not what I said, Mom. I said I told Jensen I wanted him to fuck me, but he flat out _turned me down_.” he looks at the older man, who’s opening and closing his mouth like a dying fish, she thinks.

“Jesus, Colin,” Jensen hisses as he stares at the teen, “this is your _mother_ for Christ’s sake!” he then starts pulling at the collar of his t-shirt where it’s soaked with sweat, with one hand, and holding the bridge of his nose with the other.

“I know that, Jen” Colin says, pulling Jensen’s hand away from his face and holding it in both of his, _another twist to the knife in her gut_ , “and she’s always told me that I can tell her anything, no matter how uncomfortable.” he offers her a small smile and Carol isn’t sure whether she should feel a sense of pride at the maturity he’s showing in his own way, or not. “Isn’t this the adult thing to do, talk about things openly? I know how I feel about you Jensen, and we have to make her understand.” He’s pleading with his eyes, now, and Carol feels like her heart’s being crushed. 

As she turns to Jensen, he looks as shell shocked as she feels as he nods in agreement, “You’re something else, you know that?” he says with awe in his voice, brushing stray strands of hair from Colin’s forehead. He’s stroking Colin’s cheek, now, smiling softly when the teen flashes one of his beaming grins. The interaction between them makes Carol feel like she’s intruding on a tender moment. She desperately wants to be wrong, but on the face of it, everything Colin told her about him being the one to push, about Jensen being reluctant…it all seems true.

It doesn’t make her feel any less sick, though, and she has to run to the bathroom so she doesn’t throw up there and then.

§

Jensen feels heavy again, that underwater feeling he had at the hospital is coming back. He’s gotten more used to it, and now he thinks about it, it’s a little like being drunk, but it’s still not a _pleasant_ feeling. It must be the painkillers, which means it’ll only get worse as they keep working their way around his system. He feels like he’s about to pass out, but without all the pain and stress like yesterday…was it really only yesterday? It seems forever ago. This time is different though, he feels calm, despite the fact that Carol could have the cops here any moment. He has to talk to Carol but when he looks she’s not there…he wonders where she’s gone as he lets his heavy, heavy arm fall from Colin’s face to his shoulder. 

Colin moves a little closer and Jensen has to blink to focus his eyes, what’s the boy doing? _Oh_ , he thinks as Colin leans in and presses a soft kiss to Jensen’s lips, _that_. It’s just the moist press of lips but it ignites a fire in Jensen, making him want to pull the teen closer and devour him. Jensen thinks it would be an awesome idea to take his shirt off, he’s so hot…why is he so hot? _Painkillers_ a distant part of his brain supplies, again. 

“Mmm, nice,” he hums in satisfaction, “more?” Colin’s soft laugh and his fond eye roll makes its way into Jensen’s consciousness and he takes it for the unspoken ‘no’ that it is, “spoilsport.” 

“Have you quite finished?” comes a harsh voice, causing Jensen to turn, the quick motion making his stomach churn. He feels Colin’s body heat leave him and he thinks he lets out a sigh of disappointment, he’s not actually sure. He should lie down…yeah, he should do that. He leans back against the couch, intent on resting his eyes, then jumps a couple of inches into the air with a manly squeak as he feels a thump to his chest, a tugging on his shirt and a very angry Carol looming over him. 

Jensen’s tongue feels as heavy as his limbs, weariness taking hold of him, despite the thundering of his heart as he looks into Carol’s eyes. He swallows and after a couple of attempts, he’s able to speak, “I’m guessing this is the part where I say yes?” Carol’s frown increases in intensity and he quickly curses himself for his smart mouth, “Sorry…I, yeah. Sorry.”

“Mom?” Colin asks, quietly. He sounds concerned more than frightened, and Jensen slides his hand over to Colin’s thigh in a comforting gesture…at least he hopes so, _otherwise you’re just groping him and you may just get your throat ripped out by his mom_ , his mind whispers to him. He pulls his hand back, quickly, not wanting to make the situation any worse. It seems to have done the trick, Carol loosens her grip and takes a step back. Jensen watches as she takes a breath, obviously trying to get her anger under control, for which he’s very grateful. 

“Jensen and I need to have a talk in private, go home Colin.”

“What? No!” the teen protests, “He’s off his face on painkillers, you can’t really expect to get any sense from him when he’s like this?”

Carol doesn’t back down, and Jensen can feel the weight of her stare, “Exactly, there’s no chance for him to lie. I deal with drunks on a daily basis, sweetheart. Booze, drugs, it’s all the same, nothing loosens the tongue any quicker.”

Jensen feels a cold sweat on the back of his neck, now, a complete contrast to the heat in the rest of his body from the drugs, “I’m…” he pauses, trying to work out what he wants to say, before he sits back up and makes himself as alert as possible, “I’ve got no reason to lie, Carol, you know everything.” 

“We’ll see,” she says with a sneer, “Colin, out, now.”

“What are you going to do?” he asks, definitely a little scared now, “Please, mom, let’s all talk again tomorrow. Jen needs his rest, don’t make him ill again… _please_. He almost sobs the last word and it sobers Jensen a little. 

“Your mom’s right,” he says, his voice scratchy, “it’s the best way,” he turns to Colin and sobers even more when he sees the tears threatening to spill out of his beautiful blue eyes. With a great effort he puts both hands on the teen’s shoulders, “You gotta trust me, OK?” Colin looks at him for what feels like minutes but is probably only a few seconds, then nods. He doesn’t look convinced but he slowly stands, giving his mom a filthy look before he leaves the apartment.

The silence is deafening, Jensen feels like he’s under a very bright spotlight as Carol stares down at him. He swallows, nervously waiting for her to say something. Eventually she sits, her face eerily calm, now, “Talk,” she commands.

§

Chris gets out of the car when he sees Colin leave the building, but not Carol. He’s immediately worried, even more so as he sees the tears streaming down Colin’s face, “What happened?”

Colin blinks as if he didn’t realise Chris was there, “She…wants…” he sniffs, “to talk to him alone,” his says in almost a whisper, “I’m scared, Chris.”

The older man feels a heaviness in his chest and reaches out to put a hand on each of Colin’s shoulders, “Jen can take care of himself, it’s probably best to leave it to the adults. I can’t pretend I understand, but it’s clear you two care about each other enough to face this head on. Come on,” he steers Colin to the car, “we’ll give it a half hour, then I’ll go up, OK?” Colin climbs into the car but says nothing.

For the next twenty three minutes, he fidgets, checks his watch, tugs on his t-shirt, watches the door and looks at Chris with a worried expression. It makes Chris want to pull his hair out, the tension in the truck is palpable. He’s not sure he can wait the last few minutes and is about to head up anyway, when Carol pushes the door to the building open.

Both of them scramble out of the truck and almost run towards her, Colin looking white as a sheet, nervous tension coming off him in waves.

Carol’s wiping tears from her face as she stops in front of them, “Before you ask, he’s alive.”

“Not funny, Mom,” Colin growls.

Carol turns to look at Chris, “He passed out, the painkillers finally got the best of him,” she sighs and turns to Colin, “Let’s go.”

“Wait,” Chris says, his arm coming out to stop Carol going anywhere, of it’s own volition. She glares at him and he pulls it away, quickly, “what happens now?”

She visibly deflates and Chris can’t help but feel sorry for her, despite his worry about Jensen. She looks at Colin, who’s chewing his lip raw, “I need time to think. I don’t like this, _at all_ ” she says with a hiss, “but he seems genuine.” Colin draws in a big breath as if he’s preparing to burst into a big speech, but Carol holds up a hand, “No, don’t say a word. Get in the car, I need to get away from here.”

Chris stands feeling a little numb as he watches them get drive away. He pulls himself together then and runs up the stairs two at a time. He opens the door and looks around for Jensen, seeing him passed out on the couch. As Chris approaches his friends, he notes that Carol has removed his boots and put a glass of water on the table next to him. The older man feels himself smile a little…neither he or Carol can wrap their heads around this, but it doesn’t look like she’s baying for Jensen’s blood with the same passion, any more. It’s a start, at least. 

He kicks off his own boots and settles into his chair. He’s just dozing off when his phone chirrups with a text. Seeing Jared’s name on the display, Chris moans, realising he hadn’t given the update he’d promised. Dragging himself out of the chair he heads down the hall to his bedroom to call Jared.

§

Jensen tries to open his eyes when he hears a door close for a second time, but his eyes are too heavy. He knows he’s in Chris’ apartment and that he’s just had one of the most nerve-wrecking and yet most honest conversations of his life. He only hopes that Carol takes on board what he said, and that Colin will understand why they came to the decision they did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I won't dwell on any more conversation for the next chapter, we need to move the story along now. Jensen and Colin need to get to all the dirty sex this prompt was initially for! Damn plot keeps getting in the way!


	13. Chapter 13

_Four weeks later_

Colin is as miserable as it’s possible for a person to feel, he’s sure of it. His fury at his mom’s arrangement with Jensen is still there, but not as red hot as it was for the first two or three weeks. He understands the reasoning, but he doesn’t like it, not one little bit. If his mom thinks that a few weeks of not seeing Jensen is going to make him forget all about the man, she’s sorely mistaken. He keeps re-playing that day over and over in his head.

After they’d got back home after leaving Chris’ place, Carol had told him that Jensen had agreed not to see him for a minimum of six weeks, emphasis on _minimum_. Colin had never felt such a swirl of emotions in his young life, even after everything that had already happened with Jensen. He’d spent the following three days in bed, claiming to have a stomach bug to avoid school and his mom. They both knew he was faking but Carol didn’t call him on it until the fourth day when she marched into his room uninvited, tugged the duvet off him and practically shoved him into the shower. She drove him to school and Colin was mortified when she told him to get used it, because she’d be taking him _and_ collecting him, every day for the next six weeks.

To make matters worse, he’s been grounded indefinitely and is having to do more hours helping out in the bar, as well as his regular chores. He’s trying to prove to his mom that he can be responsible and mature, but with each passing day it’s harder and harder not to just walk out and see Jensen. He has no way to know if Jensen is still at Chris’ and he can’t ask him, because he doesn’t even have Jensen’s number. That makes him angrier than anything as he’s sat in history class, bored out of his skull. His thoughts always wander to Jensen sooner or later, wondering how he is, what he’s doing…if he’s thinking of Colin, or if he’s getting on with his life, realising that it’s better to forget the teen. He tries to push down that last thought every time it comes up, but it’s getting harder. If he just talk to Jensen for five minutes, he’d feel like he could breathe again.

§

Chris sighs as he stands over Jensen who’s either asleep or passed out on the couch. From the beer cans and half empty bottle of bourbon on the coffee table, the latter is the most likely. He’s seen Jensen go through some tough times, but nothing like this, before. The combination of the break up with Jared, and whatever this thing with Colin is has him twisted in knots. Chris feels for him, but he can’t watch his friend go on like this.

Jensen barely gets through the day at work – Chris practically has to force him to eat proper food, then as soon as they finish Jen either goes home and starts drinking, or goes to a bar. Chris followed him on three occasions, Jensen always ending up outside Ford’s but never going in. Eventually Chris confronted him and his friend just shrugged, pointing out that he was sticking to his and Carol’s agreement and not _seeing_ Colin, and Chris should mind his beeswax.

“Hey, Jensen, get your ass up!” Chris says loudly as he swats his friend on the thigh a couple of times. The younger man grumbles, but doesn’t open his eyes. Chris whacks him with a pillow which finally gets a response.

“Fuck off, Kane!” he snaps.

“No,” Chris stands his ground, noisily moving around the apartment, throwing empty beer cans into the recycling bin with more force than necessary, “you have to sort yourself out, man, you can’t go on like this.”

“Leave me alone,” Jensen says grumpily, sitting up and holding his head, “and quit making all that noise, asshole.”

Chris sighs, walks back into the living room and takes a seat in his chair. He’s been putting this off as long as possible, but he needs to try and motivate Jensen, “Look, son, don’t you think it’s about time you started looking at apartments?”

Jensen looks at him and rolls his eyes, “So now you’re kicking me out? Some friend you are!”

“It’s not like that and you know it,” Chris says, trying to keep his voice as placating as possible, “Jared’s left your apartment so if you don’t want to go back there, you need to think about the future.”

Jensen glares at him, “I’m _not_ going back there,” he runs his hands through his hair, subconsciously rubbing the scar on his scalp like he’s started doing every time he gets stressed, before he looks back at his friend, “I’ll make arrangements to get the place on the market then I can start looking for somewhere else. Give me a few weeks?”

Chris leans forward and puts a hand on Jensen’s knee, “On condition you get yourself out of this funk.”

Jensen looks at him again and his expression is so pitiful that it makes Chris’ heart ache, “Im not sure I know how, Chris.” he says in a quiet voice.

Chris makes his mind up there and then, “I do.”

§

_Two weeks later_

Colin races out of school for the first time in weeks. Just a couple of months ago he did that every day like any normal fifteen year old, desperate to get away from school and get on with the things that made life worth living, but that was before his mom had turned prison guard and chauffeur all in rolled into one. Today, though, was the first day that she was letting him make his own way home. They were passed the six week mark…six weeks and three days to be exact, and he felt like a free man. It saddened him that something as simple as walking for twenty minutes alone made him happier than he’d been in weeks.

His semi-freedom wasn’t planned, his mom had been called into a meeting with one of their major suppliers and she had no-one else to pick him up. The meeting was about eighty miles away and didn’t finish until five he’d have had a few hours to himself. He slowed his pace and enjoyed the feel of the sun on his skin, wondering what to order for dinner. There’s no way he was going to cook when he could spend his time checking e-mails and sitting in front of the TV until it was time to go back to his room.

Colin’s so lost in thought, somewhere between pizza, longing to see Jensen…eating pizza with Jensen…eating pizza _off Jensen’s body_ , that he doesn’t notice the truck pulling up alongside him.

§

Chris feels like some kind of creepy stalker as he sits across the street from Colin’s school, hoping with all his might that the kid will come out of the front door and not through one of the other exits. Eventually, he spots Colin running down the stairs, then slow as he reaches the sidewalk. Chris waits for a couple of minutes, just to make sure that his intel was right, and Carol’s not there to collect her son, and then starts the engine.

He drives as slow as he dares, wanting to give the impression of a driver being extra cautious around a school area, but not slow enough to rouse suspicion and looking like’s tailing one particular kid, waiting for a chance to lure him into the truck. Which is totally what Chris is doing, but he tries not to think of it as creepy, it’s for the greater good!

Colin seems oblivious to the world around him as Chris finally pulls alongside him. He winds down the window and calls the teen’s name, but he’s not being heard. In the end, he has no choice but to blast the horn quickly and shout Colin’s name louder, finally getting his attention.

Colin’s face is a mix of confusion and concern as he recognises the older man, “Chris? What are you doing here?”

“Just get in, will you?” Chris says impatiently, “”I’ll explain on the way.”

Colin hesitates for only a few seconds before running around the front of the truck and climbing in.

§

Jensen’s in the kitchen searching for the bottle of aspirin he knows he put in the cupboard somewhere, when the doors closes, quietly. That strikes him as a little odd because Chris seems to enjoy banging around as much as possible as these days, making the not so subtle point that if Jensen didn’t have a permanent hangover, it wouldn’t bother him. When he doesn’t hear Chris’ heavy footsteps, he turns away from his aspirin hunt and stops dead at the sight in front of him. There, looking at him with a nervous smile is Colin, his school bag hanging limply from his hand.

“Hey Jen.”

Jensen blinks, wondering if he’s still drunk and/or dreaming. His mouth is suddenly dry, his heart thumping in his chest and making his head hurt more with each beat, “What are you…Colin?” he asks is disbelief.

Colin swallows and nods, “Chris said he feels like some kind of creepy pimp for bringing me here,” he says with a small laugh.

“What?” is the only thing Jensen seems capable of saying and he inwardly curses at his stupidity.

A small frown crosses Colin’s face, “I guess he didn’t tell you he was coming to get me?” his face drops a little more, “That’s OK, I can…I can go, I thought you wanted to see me,” he tugs the bag onto his shoulder and gives Jensen a sad look.

A panic rises in Jensen’s chest and he feels his body move across the room to grab Colin by the arm, “No, don’t go…I…” he feels lost for words, still, so he pulls Colin into a hug, immediately relieved when the teen’s arms wrap around his back and squeeze tightly. Jensen cradles Colin’s head in his hand and buries his face in the teen’s neck, breathing in his scent, “God I missed you,” he breathes onto clammy skin and squeezes tighter, pulling their bodies as close as possible.

Colin lets out an uncomfortable noise and pushes at Jensen’s shoulder, “Crushing…me,” he says in a strained voice and Jensen lets go suddenly.

“Shit, I’m sorry,” he runs his hands frantically over the teen’s chest by way of further apology, but Colin’s smiling, almost laughing, now, “What’s so funny?”

Colin gestures to him, waving his hand up and down Jensen’s body, “You’re kind of a mess…and you could really use a shower!” he wrinkles his nose at that last part.

Suddenly, Jensen becomes aware of his appearance. He looks down at the filthy t-shirt he’s wearing, coffee and food stains everywhere, on his sweatpants, too. He hasn’t showered in days, he has at least a fortnights worth of beard, and he reeks of booze and sweat, even to his own nose. He feels the heat of a blush creep across his face and neck, and points towards the hall leading to the bathroom, “I’ll get cleaned up,” he says, quickly, “get a drink or something if you want.”

He’s halfway across the living room before reality sinks in, more, “Wait, what _are_ you doing here? Your mom…” he’s aware his mouth his hanging open now and feels like an idiot… _more_ of an idiot.

Colin walks towards him, taking Jensen’s face in his large, warm hands and kisses him, “We don’t have much time, a couple of hours at most. My mom’s out of town for a few hours, Chris is a devious little shit with a spy at the bar, and is worried about you enough to come and get me.” he leans in again and captures Jensen’s lips, gently licking along the bottom one, then pulling away with a frustrated sound, “Go!”

Jensen groans at the wet heat of Colin’s tongue, it feels so good and he wants more. He leans back in and angles Colin’s head for a better fit, pulling him closer and feeling his body heat through their t-shirts. He can feel the pulse of Colin getting hard against his hip and wants nothing more than to drop to his knees to touch and taste, but Colin, the bastard, pulls back again.

“I said go,” he says, voice raspy, “before I end up in there with you!” He’s breathing heavily, face flushed and lips just starting to swell, the front of his jeans straining and Jensen’s dick twitches in response to the visual and his words.

Jensen swallows hard then takes a step closer again, placing a hand in the middle of Colin’s chest. He can feel the teen’s heart thumping under it, and slowly, he leans in and whispers in his ear, “If that’s what you want, give me ten minutes and then join me. If not, that’s fine,” he pulls back to look at Colin’s stunned face, “just don’t go anywhere, OK?” Colin nods but says nothing, meaning Jensen has no idea which part he’s agreeing to. He looks into Colin’s eyes for a long time, before giving him a smile before walking to the bathroom.

§

Colin’s changed his mind countless times, he’s now starting to wonder if he’s worn out some of the carpet walking between the living room and bathroom so much. He’s spent time weighing up the consequences of each option available to him and is now feeling a little sick with nerves. He forgot to check his watch so Jensen could’ve been in the bathroom ten minutes or an hour, for all he knows. It’s now or never. His heart is racing as he reaches out for the door handle and turns it, letting out a breath he didn’t realise he was holding when it opens.

A blast of hot air rushes from the bathroom and as soon as he steps in, the steam starts making him sweat a little…or maybe it’s the combination of steam, his nerves and the sight of the outline of Jensen’s naked body through the shower stall window. It’s frosted glass and obviously steamed up but that doesn’t hide the sight of Jensen’s gloriously sculpted chest, arms, back and legs. Colin’s a little disappointed by the strategically placed design that’s hiding the rest of Jensen’s body, but all he has to do is take a few steps closer, open the door and step in and he’ll see all of him.

He must make a noise of some kind because Jensen startles a little and turns to look at him. The expression on the older man’s face is a mix of surprise and happiness…and if Colin’s not mistaken, a little smugness in there, as if he knew Colin would succumb. Jensen smiles and it lights up his whole face, making him look instantly healthier, despite the purple skin under his eyes. Colin feels himself grin back, and takes a few steps closer. Jensen slides the door open a few inches then turns his back and reaches for the shampoo.

By the time Colin fumbles his clothes off and dumps them in a heap on the floor, Jensen has rinsed most the suds out of his hair, the last few sliding down the centre of his back. Colin can’t help but stand and watch as the muscles in Jensen’s back move with his ministrations, wanting to run his hands and lips over them. Jensen turns then, facing Colin and wiping excess water off his face. He pushes the door open a few more inches and sticks his hand out, motioning Colin to take it.

He feels even more nervous as he takes the last few steps, grips Jensen’s slippery hand and climbs into the stall. Jensen instantly pulls him into a deep kiss, pressing his hard, wet body against Colin, hands smoothing over his face, neck and chest. It feels glorious and Colin legs start to shake little. Jensen pulls back and cups his face, looking deep into his eyes, “You sure?”

Colin swallows, nods his head and smiles nervously, “If you are.”

“Well then,” Jensen says, his tone teasing and husky, his eyes dark and lust blown, “let’s get dirty.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, I'm evil for leaving it like that _but_ the next chapter will be mostly porn, so yay, right? xD
> 
> Also, I realised haven't told you where the title of this fic came from yet (doh!) - it's from 'Taste' by Lorna Vallings. The line "If I could have just a taste of you, would I be addicted?" is pretty perfect for Jensen and Colin in this fic, and the answer is a resounding YES! ;)


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the chapter that some of you have been waiting for, 90% porn with a sprinkle of plot! ;) 
> 
> I hope you enjoy it!

Jensen is sure, _absolutely sure_ that he wants to do all kinds of dirty, _filthy_ things to Colin. He thinks now that he was subconsciously sure all those months ago when he was jerking off to fantasies of the teen, though he doesn’t have the same feelings of guilt or shame any more. He maybe _should_ , but he doesn’t. He’s spent the past six weeks trying to tell himself that it’s just a crush and he’ll get over it...eventually. He rationalised that he was being reckless by jumping into a new relationship so soon after splitting up with Jared, then his brain reminded him that he’d also told Colin that he needed time to get his head around it, so was it _really_ all that reckless? There were days he told himself that there was the probability of Carol castrating him, and calling the cops…both very valid reasons to stay away from Colin, for everyone’s sake.

Drunk _and_ sober these arguments swam through Jensen’s head, day after day, but ultimately they were all outweighed by memories of time he’d spent with Colin. He’d realised straight away after meeting him that they get on well all that time in the bar. They have similar interests, Colin is smart and funny, as well as gorgeous. There was that toe curling blowjob which Jensen kept dreaming of, but most of all, he kept coming back to how it felt just to hold Colin in his arms in the hospital. Jensen was confused and a little scared when he’d woken up there, but Colin being there had made him much calmer with his presence. The bottom line is that he’s realised that he _needs_ Colin, and now he’s accepted that fact there’s no going back for him.

Jensen realises that Colin’s saying his name, looking a little worried, “I asked if you were OK, you kinda spaced out there for a while.”

“Sorry,” he says, stroking Colin’s cheek with his thumb, “I was just thinking how awful the last few weeks have been,” he looks straight into those soulful blue eyes, “I can’t go through that again.”

Colin smiles and pulls Jensen towards him, kissing him slow and deep. It fills Jensen with a heat he usually associates with fast, dirty kisses filled with promises of much more and knows he’s not going to last long; so he’s going to make this about Colin as much as possible. His dick throbs as he tilts his hips and presses his body closer to the teen’s lithe form. He reaches around and palms one of Colin’s ass cheeks, it fits perfectly in his hand and he squeezes and kneads it as he pulls them closer still. He can feel Colin’s cock burning hot against his and rolls his hips gently to give them both a little more friction. He swirls his tongue around Colin’s own and runs his other hand from the base of the teen’s skull, down his neck, collarbone and further, down to his nipple. He’s not forgotten how Colin reacted to having his nipples played with when they were together in the bar, and now he has the chance to see just how much pleasure he can bring the teen.

He takes Colin’s pebbled nub between thumb and forefinger, very gently squeezing and teasing. Colin groans into his mouth and Jensen swallows it down before pulling back and peppering kisses down the same path his fingers took only moments ago. He bends down and licks over Colin’s other nipple, swirling his tongue around it until it peaks before sucking on it. The moans coming from Colin’s mouth are addictive and Jensen has trouble tearing himself away to look at his face, but he needs to see. A sense of pride runs through him as he sees Colin’s head tipped back in pleasure, his cheeks are flushed and he’s biting his bottom lip. “Don’t keep quiet, I want to hear you.”

Colin opens his mouth to speak but Jensen cuts him off with a kiss, relishing the heat coming off the teen’s lips, their smooth, swollen texture. Colin’s hands scrabble at Jensen’s shoulders and back, pushing him away slightly. He angles his hips back and away from Jensen, opening his eyes slowly to focus on the man, “I need to touch you,” he says, his breathy voice barely audible over the pounding water from the shower.

Jensen shakes his head, “Not yet,” he returns to Colin’s nipples, mouth alternating between them as he brings his hands up to the boy’s waist, slipping one around his burning shaft. Colin cries out and he’s trembling in Jensen’s arms now…it’s perfect, and Jensen needs more. He re-arranges his grip on Colin’s cock, holding it loosely, applying only a light pressure as he slides his hand up and down from base to tip. Colin grips his shoulders tighter, nails digging into flesh, but the older man couldn’t give a shit right now. Gradually he tightens his grip on Colin’s dick, feeling the slick pre-come leaking out as he gently thumbs over the head, loving the whimper Colin lets out as he does. He gives both nipples a hard suck and nips slightly before pulling back to admire his handiwork. Both are red, swollen and sensitive. He can’t resist brushing a thumb over one, his own cock throbbing at the moan that slips from Colin’s lips.

Reluctantly he takes a step back, putting some more room between their bodies. Jensen can feel the sweat pooling in the hollow of his neck and on his back, tickling his sensitive skin as it rolls down and gets washed away by the shower spray. He reaches up and angles the shower towards the wall and immediately he can better hear Colin’s moans. It’s not enough, he wants more, wants to hear Colin come apart, he _needs_ to hear the sounds he makes when he comes. Jensen was too close to his own orgasm to hear Colin in the bar, so he has to make up for that now.

Colin’s arms tighten around his neck and pull him into another hot, wet and messy kiss. He loosens his grip with one arm and trails a hand down Jensen’s chest, tugging on a nipple and making him moan. Colin pulls away with a loud smack and raises and eyebrow at Jensen, a sly smile on his face, “Not just me then?”

Jensen is about to answer but any words he was about to form turn into a choked moan as Colin’s fingers wrap around his aching, neglected cock. He drops his head forward onto Colin’s collar bone and looks down at their hands. They fall into a matching rhythm and the sight of Colin’s purpling, leaking cock poking through his fist is almost too much. He stills the teen’s hand on his own cock, with great difficulty. He wants to come, no doubt about it, but not until he’s taken Colin apart. 

His lover lets out a disappointed sound which quickly turns to a whimper as Jensen drops to his knees and sucks the head of Colin’s cock into his mouth. He swirls his tongue around, collecting the taste of him before his lowers his head, taking half of him in. He hears a faint, “Oh shit, Jensen!” from above but can’t bring himself to look up. Right now, his only goal in life is to make Colin come. He tightens his lips around the shaft and sinks down further, wrapping one hand around the remainder of the teen’s long length, then reaching and cupping and gently squeezing swollen, heavy balls with the other. Colin’s hips buck, pushing his cock further into Jensen’s mouth. It glides over his tongue, the heat and the heavy weight of it making Jensen’s own dick throb more. He wants to stroke himself but he doesn’t have a free hand and refuses to give up on his mission.

Above him, Colin is pushing on his shoulder, “Jen…so close,” he pants, a pained look on his face. Jensen wants to finish him with his mouth but he needs to _see_ as well as hear Colin come. He pulls his mouth off and wraps his hand around Colin again, the skin so hot against his palm he wonders how Colin can stand the heat. He leans in and presses kisses to Colin’s hip before nipping lightly, as he increases the pace of his hand. Colin is working his hips frantically now, pushing into Jensen’s grip. Grunts and moans are falling from his lips and they both know he won’t last much longer, “Let me touch you, please, Jen, _please_ , before it’s too late,” Jensen can hear the strain in Colin’s voices, knows he’s holding back despite how close he is. Pre-come dribbles over his fingers, warm and slippery, and Jensen can feel his own cock throb again in response, the same wet feeling dribbling down his shaft and balls.

Colin sounds pained now, “Jen, please,” a delicious gasp interrupts him, “please, please, _please_!” he begs, and Jensen has to let go of Colin’s balls and grab the base of his dick, squeezing hard to stop himself from coming at the sound of it. 

“God, Colin, you beg so pretty” Jensen pants, squeezing himself so tight it almost hurts, “gonna make you do that more…lots more, but I need you to come for me now, OK?”

The teen shakes his head, letting out a whimper, “Wanna…touch,” his cock swells in Jensen’s hand, jerking violently, “Nngh, Jen,” he shouts, his face scrunched tight before going slack as ropes of come burst out violently, hitting Jensen in the chest and dripping down onto his stomach. He carefully lets go of Colin and watches as he sinks to his ass, his shaky legs no longer able to hold him up. He’s gasping for breath, his face, neck and chest bright red and covered in sweat. He slowly opens his eyes and looks at Jensen. He looks punch drunk, a huge dopey grin on his face and it’s one of the most simultaneously beautiful, and arousing sights Jensen’s ever seen.

He has a new mission now, _he_ needs to come, before his dick falls off. It’s so hard it hurts, and now, with a floppy, pliant and happy Colin in front of him, with the teen’s come running down his body, Jensen feels the urge to mark Colin as his in return. He straddles the teen, pulling his head up for a kiss that’s more tongue than lips, but the heat coming from Colin’s mouth is addictive. Jensen can’t get enough of it, or the flavour of the boy. Each swipe of the wet muscle sends Jensen’s body temperature up a notch, and he blindly reaches out for Colin’s hand, wrapping it around his aching cock. He covers Colin’s hand with his own, linking their fingers and pumping harder and faster than he has in a long, long time. Colin squeezes, rhythmically at he pulls, causing Jensen’s hips to jerk forward. He tears himself away from Colin’s mouth and works their hands even faster, grunting, pumping his hips, desperately chasing what’s going to be a mindblowing orgasm. 

Colin’s raspy, breathy voice is what tips him over the edge, “Come for me, Jen, come all over me, make me yours,” which is exactly what Jensen does. Blood is pounding in his ears, his chest tight from the exertion and not being able to draw in enough breath, yet all at once, he screams in both pleasure and pain as he comes so hard his balls ache. Through half closed eyes he watches as the first pulse of his come splatters over Colin’s stomach. With the little energy he has left, he angles his hips so that the rest hit Colin’s nipples, the heat and force of it causing the teen to gasp and moan.

His legs are jelly and he just manages to move to the side before he collapses next to Colin on the floor. As he tries to get his breathing under control, Jensen feels Colin’s hot, sweaty hand slide over his. He turns his palm over so that they can link their fingers properly, and squeezes. Colin rests his head on Jensen’s shoulder, his hot breath making his sweaty skin tingle. They stay like that until eventually Colin stands up, not releasing his grip on Jensen’s hand, and looks at him sadly, “I wish I could stay,” he rests his forehead against Jensen’s and the older man wraps his arm around him, pulling Colin’s slim frame closer, running his fingers through the hair at the base of his scalp.

“Me too” Jensen whispers. 

 

§

Chris arrives back at his apartment and opens and shuts the door loudly, announcing his presence. He’s relieved to see that Jensen and Colin are both clothed – he’s under no illusion that they’d be able to keep their hands off each other for long, he just didn’t want to walk in on them doing anything that might scar him for life.

Colin gives him a resigned look, “Time to go?”

Chris looks at Jensen, who’s holding on to Colin’s hand for dear life, and hates that he’s the one to separate them, but it has to be done, “’fraid so. I’ll wait in the truck, but we gotta hurry. Robbie will be on break in twenty minutes and we need to get you inside while he goes out for a smoke.”

He sees Jensen frown, “Who’s Robbie?” he asks, looking between Chris and Colin.

“New guy mom hired,” Colin shrugs, “…and Chris’ spy by the sound of it.”

Chris shrugs, “He spends more time gossiping than tending bar from what I hear, I just happened to let him think I have a crush on your mom and wanted to know when she’d be working, tonight.”

“Eww, gross!” Colin says, pulling a face, “I don’t need to hear that!”

Jensen chuckles, then smiles as he brushes hair back from Colin’s face. Colin tilts his head to give him better access, and Chris thinks if the boy was a cat, he’d be purring loudly. Chris flicks his eyes back to Jensen, the smile reaches all the way to his eyes, crinkling them at the corners. It’s a long time since he’s seen his friend like that. It makes his heart ache that he doesn’t know when Jensen will see Colin again. He knows one thing, though…despite his reservations and his discomfort at such a significant age difference, he’s now fairly sure that the two of them can make it work, somehow.

§

Colin waits in Chris’ truck until the coast is clear. He sees Robbie disappear around the back of the building with a cigarette in his mouth and makes a dash for the side door, the private entrance to their apartment. His heart thumps in his chest from fear at getting caught, and also the thrill of having been able to see Jensen. He listens carefully as he walks up the stairs – Carol’s car wasn’t out front, but he still feels nervous, like somehow she might be home and catch him sneaking in. He doesn’t hear anything, and finds the apartment blessedly empty.

He throws his bag into the corner of the room and flops face down onto his bed. He’s so tired, but in a good way. He still feels a slight floating sensation from the sex they had, and feels the nervous tension of not seeing Jensen for all those weeks, draining out of him. 

He lazily runs scenarios through his head of how he can get through to his mom see that despite what she thinks at the moment, Jensen is in no way manipulating him. He’ll make her see that although it’s an unorthodox relationship, it doesn’t make it any less valid than if they were the same age. He feels himself falling asleep with the words on his tongue and hope he can remember them when he wakes.

§

The Saturday evening crowd is starting to pour into Ford’s and Carol’s expecting it to be a busy one. She’s had two staff call in sick so it just leaves her and the new guy, Robbie, to work the bar. He’s gorgeous and a huge draw for the customers, but he’s only been there a couple of weeks and still learning the ropes. She’s going to have her work cut out, that’s for sure. He’s broken seven glasses so far today and managed to spill a full jug of beer over a customer. She didn’t think her day could get worse until she looks up and sees Chris walking towards her with a determined look.

“Shit, this is all I need!” she mumbles under her breath. 

“Can we talk?”

She gestures with her arms to the bar which is getting busier, “This isn’t the best time, Chris,” she says with sarcasm in her voice.

Chris shakes his head, “I know, but it’s important and beneficial for us both.”

She sighs and nods towards the door leading through to the office, “Talk quick,” she says as soon as they’re both in the small room.

“How’s Colin doing?” Chris asks, which takes her by surprise a little.

“He’s…terrible,” she says, truthfully, “why?”

§

Colin thinks he must be imagining things when his mom calls him downstairs and he sees Chris standing there with her, then he immediately goes into panic mode, “Is Jensen alright?” he asks with an uneven voice, racing down the stairs. Chris’ face is grim and it does nothing to calm his fears.

“He’s been better,” Chris says, glancing at Carol from the corner of his eye, “Your mom and I have talked and she’s agreed to let you see him for a couple of hours after school next week.”

Colin feels his eyes bulge as he looks at his mom, his heart pounding, “W-w-what?” he stutters, “is this a joke, because…”

Carol’s face is pinched as she replies, “It’s not a joke, two hours,” she air jabs a finger at him, “here, in public, where I can keep an eye on you. That’s non-negotiable. I’m not happy about it but…” she has tears in her eyes and Colin’s chest tightens, “I can’t stand seeing you like this,” she steps up to him and looks him straight in the eye, “if he hurts you in _any_ way, I will make sure he suffers, am I making myself understood?”

Colin is taken aback at the conviction in her voice, and he has no doubt whatsoever that she means every word about making Jensen suffer. He doesn’t dare think about what that could entail, but all he can think about right now is that he’s going to see Jensen, and that’s all that matters. 

He follows them both out of the bar and catches Chris by the arm, “What? How?” he says, unable to think of anything more coherent.

Chris looks at him for a long time before speaking, “The last few days, I thought Jen would be better since he saw you but he’s…” he rubs a hand over his stubble, possibly searching for the right words, “it’s like you’re a drug and now he’s had a fix, he’s addicted. He’s on edge, even grumpier than before and, hell, I don’t know, just a total pain in the ass!”

Colin frowns, he’s been experiencing weird moods himself. He’s missing Jensen even more now, two hours wasn’t enough time, so he can understand why his lover would be feeling the same. Colin’s also been on a high from their time together, which he’s obviously had to hide from everyone, _especially_ his mom. He’s been acting more love sick than strictly necessary so that she doesn’t suspect anything and now he feels a little guilty that he pulled it off well enough to make Carol relent. 

“I can’t get involved any more, though, you get that, right?” Chris says, earnestly.

Colin nods, “Thanks, man, I really appreciate what you’ve done,” he looks around making sure his mom is occupied, “could you tell him I miss him, and he needs to stop being a pain in your ass?” 

Chris laughs, “I can tell him but that boy has been a pain in my ass since the day I met him!”

Colin’s mouth runs away with him, “Well hopefully one day soon, he’ll be a pain in _my_ ass!” At Chris’ shocked look, he freezes as he realises what he’s said, then breaks into a fit of giggles. The sounds bubble up from the middle of his chest and shake his whole body. Chris is looking at him like he just grew a second head, and takes a few steps back.

“Please don’t say anything like that again, there’s not enough whiskey in the world to wipe that image from my mind!” 

“Sorry,” Colin says when he’s caught his breath, the ache in his stomach a welcome feeling, somehow. Chris raises an eyebrow in a ‘Yeah, right!’ gesture, and Colin just grins at him.

After Chris leaves, Colin watches his mom for a couple of minutes and tries to work out what changed her mind. Is she lulling him into a false sense of security? His stomach drops at the thought, but he soon pushes it away, his mom isn’t that kind of person. He’s got to play it cool, he can’t let slip that he and Jensen have already seen each other, otherwise Carol might put a stop to it before it really begins. He follows his mom out back as she goes to fill the ice buckets and hovers until she looks at him. He can’t quite place the look in her eyes, some nervousness, definitely sadness, and something else. 

He steps forward and pulls her into a tight hug, “Thank you, mom.” 

She says nothing but hugs him back just as tight, pressing a kiss to his forehead before she heads back to work.

Colin climbs the stairs two at a time, a smile on his face and a warm feeling in his chest. He knows that his mom’s struggling, but she’s making an effort and for now, that’s the best he can ask for.


	15. Chapter 15

_Four days later_

Carol rubs her temples in another attempt to clear the pounding in her head. It’s useless, this is one of her stress headaches which can only be eased by sleep - or at least rest - and the obvious… _much_ less stress. Her neck and shoulders ache with it, she can feel her blood pumping through her veins at a faster rate than usual, adding to the fluttery feeling in her chest from the palpitations. 

She’s been getting steadily more stressed for months now but the worry about Colin and this _thing_ he and Jensen think they have going, is one more thing she can’t take. She hates seeing her son so miserable, and for the first few weeks she was convinced she was going the right thing by keeping them apart, but then it started to get unbearable. Colin barely spoke to her, not even to argue about the extra work, being grounded or being driven to and from school. That became the worst part…it’s not that she wants to argue with him, but to see him so sad and _defeated_ , with absolutely nothing to say to her was utterly heart-breaking. It made her feel like a failure as a mother. 

The meeting last week with the brewery was to tell her that costs are going to increase ten to fifteen percent over the next two years, meaning she has to find ways to save money. They’re only just keeping their heads above water as it is, so she’s going to have to put in even more hours herself. Worst case scenario is that she’ll have to sell up and move, which is the final thing that tipped the scales in Colin and Jensen’s favour. She’s still not sure whether it’s better to let Colin have some happiness before they have to leave, or keep them apart and encourage him to find someone new when they’re settled somewhere else. Either way, the decision’s made, she relented and agreed to let them spend time together.

She looks at her watch for probably the fiftieth time today, Colin will be home from school in three hours. Jensen’s due to arrive after work, giving her a couple of hours after that before she plays chaperone. She needs some rest, she’s barely slept the last couple of weeks. Ordinarily she’d be tempted to close the bar for a couple of hours, just as a one off, but with finances the way they are she can’t afford to. She hears a clatter from the other end of the bar and hangs her head, if she has to let staff go, she’s starting with Robbie. He’s trying hard but he’s just not cut out for bar work – she’s losing money from his breakages and spills. It’s a shame, it’s a while since she’s had some eye candy around the place, but there are more important things.

“I’m going for a lie down,” she calls to him, smiling as best she can, “don’t bankrupt me while I’m gone!”

§

Jensen’s wishing he’d taken the afternoon off, but the amount of sick days he’s taken in the past couple of months won’t allow it, not if he wants to keep his job. Instead, he’s sat in another bullshit meeting about the ad agency he works for changing their logo. As long as he still gets paid, he doesn’t give a shit whether their logo is a slice of pizza or a baboon’s ass!

He reaches for the coffee pot in the middle of the table, then winces as a sharp pain radiates through his calf. He glares at Chris, who’s sat opposite him. Chris says nothing, just raises an eyebrow. Jensen won’t admit it out loud, but he knows his friend’s silent communication is right, he’s had enough caffeine for one day. He’s jittery and nervous, but only partially due to the coffee…he’s worried about how Carol will react during his ‘date’ with Colin. It seems too easy, the thought of her allowing them to spend time together in public feels like some kind of test. If they fail it, what will she do? He’s terrified that now he’s found Colin, he could lose him with a few words from her.

He’s sweating through his shirt, now. He feels like he’s burning up so loosens his tie but it doesn’t seem to help much. He’s feeling a little dizzy and nausea is starting to set in. He can’t draw in enough air… _oh shit_ , he thinks, _I’m having another panic attack_!

“Jensen, are you OK?” a voice he doesn’t recognise, asks. 

Chris answers, “I’ll just take him out for some air.”

He allows Chris to guide him out of the door and into the break room, where he sits down on one of the sofas, “Fuck,” he whispers, pulling air in through his nose and letting it out slowly through his mouth like he’s been practising, and slowly calms down. 

A warm hand settles on his shoulder and he smells Chris’ aftershave, “That’s it, son, relax now.”

It takes longer than he’d like to get himself under control, but when he eventually does, Chris is holding out a plastic cup of water. “Do you want to call tonight off?” he asks as he sits opposite the younger man.

“NO!” Jensen says, much louder than intended, “no,” he repeats, quieter this time, “absolutely not, I’ll be fine,” he drinks the water, the motion helping to keep his breathing even, “I’m just nervous…why I am I nervous?” 

Chris chuckles, “Naww, poor baby!”

Jensen throws the empty cup at him, “Asshole!”

§

Colin bounces his leg up and down, restlessly. His last class of the day is taking _forever_ and he’s desperate to get out of there. He’s been on edge with nervous excitement all day at the idea of seeing Jensen. He knows they’ll be in public and his mom will be watching them like a hawk, but at least he’ll be in the man’s presence and that alone has his skin tingling. His mom is allowing him to walk home now, but today he’s kinda wishing he was being picked up so he could get home quicker. He knows that won’t make Jensen arrive any sooner, but he’ll find it easier to relax at home.

He almost knocks over his desk, a few of his classmates and some younger kids in the hall as he tears off at full speed as soon as the bell rings to announce the end of the day. He can hear some shouts of his name, curses and other comments but he doesn’t care, the only thing that matters is getting home. He dodges people on the sidewalk with annoyance and almost trips twice. He’s breathless and sweating by the time he gets home, crashing through the door and startling his mom.

“Baby, what’s wrong?” she asks, sounding and looking worried.

“Nothing,” he pants, trying to catch his breath, “sorry, I just…wanted to get home,” he can feel heat in his cheeks that’s only partially due to the running. Carol’s eyes soften, momentarily, and she tries to hide an amused smile, but he’s not fooled. He can’t help grinning, despite his nerves.

“You still have chores to do,” Carol says, her face a mask of coolness, now, “and I want them doing properly!”

Colin rolls his eyes, “Yes, mom!” he says through his grin. 

He takes the stairs at speed, dumping his bag on the floor before dropping down onto the bed and pulling his shoes off. He looks at the clock, three twenty six, just over two hours. If he rushes through his chores he can have a nice long, hot shower before Jensen arrives. He goes to the kitchen first, grabs a glass of juice and a bag of chips, swallowing as fast as he can, then sets about the cleaning.

An hour later the apartment is spotless, and Colin’s even more of a sweaty mess...time for that shower. He strips quickly, turns the water on slightly hotter than usual to help relax his tense muscles, and climbs in. He lets the water run over his body, standing for a couple of minutes enjoying the spray beating down on his skin, then sets about cleaning himself. He washes his hair thoroughly, then his body. He watches the bubbles wash down his skin and is reminded once again of his shower with Jensen. He feels his breath catch and a warmth spreads through his whole body, his dick almost instantly hard. He turns the shower head away from him, slightly, then runs his hands across his chest, rubbing and pinching his nipples the way Jensen did. He allows himself a loud moan, knowing his mom won’t hear, and pulls harder on his pebbled flesh. It sends sparks of arousal through him and his cock jerks at the sensation. He needs this, he thinks as he runs his hands over his skin, needs to relieve the stress. Also, there’s a good chance he’ll get hard quicker than before once Jensen arrives so he figures cleaning the pipes is the way to go. 

He fumbles for the shower gel again, squeezing far more than necessary onto his hand. He lathers it up, rubbing his chest, stomach and thighs, scratching lightly with blunt nails to add a slight sting, before gripping his cock and slowly working his hand up and down. All he can picture is the way it looked when Jensen did it, how much better it felt than doing this himself. Colin’s hands are bigger, his fingers longer, but Jensen’s are thicker and they seemed to fit around his length, perfectly. He moans again as he remembers the feel of Jensen’s dick in his own hand, the shape and thickness of it. He feels heat rising up his chest and neck and pumps a little faster.

He reaches behind himself with his other hand, the feel of the lathered gel smooth under his fingers, and tips his ass out. He’s tried fingering himself before, each time imagining it was Jensen, but now he has the memory of the sounds the man makes, and the feel of his fingers on Colin’s flesh, so can take his fantasy to another level. He slowly circles his hole, spreading the slippery gel around and then pushes just the tip of his finger in, moving gently and trying to adjust to the feeling. He tightens his grip on his cock and tries to relax his muscles so he can push his finger in more. He tenses a little at the burn, but he hopes that soon Jensen will be doing this to him, so he wants to get used to it. The angle is awkward but knows he can take his has time, so keeps going. It feels good but he knows it will be better when it’s Jensen inside him. 

The thought of that makes him shiver a little, and he imagines Jensen’s hot, hard body behind him, stretching his hole slowly. He imagines himself shaking with desire and begging for more. Jensen told him he wanted to make Colin beg and the thought of it sends fire through his veins. He wants Jensen to make him beg, he wants to see the older man’s reaction to it, wants to see how far he can push before Jensen snaps and fucks him hard and fast. His breath is laboured, now, he pumps his cock faster and faster, needing to come. Seconds later he cries out, wave after wave of pleasure courses through his body as his come hits the tiles and gets washed away. 

Slowly, he catches his breath then rinses off. He dries and dresses himself quickly, opting for jeans that are tight enough to be pleasing to Jensen, but also baggy enough to hide his inevitable hard on…he hopes. He slowly makes his way downstairs, wanting to ask his mom what her “rules” are, but he feels foolish. He doesn’t want to screw it up, doesn’t want to give her any reason to cut their time down, or worse still, call it off completely. Instead he goes down to the bar sits in one of the empty booths opposite the bar, but to the side so he’s not in full view. He can feel his mom’s eyes on him, but he’s determined not to look at her. He pulls out his phone to kill time while he waits for Jensen.

§

Jensen pulls up outside Ford’s, shuts off the engine and stares at the sign. There’s a flickering of light like a bulb is going to give up any day now, and he makes a mental note to mention it to Colin. Colin, who’s waiting for him inside…not even thirty feet away from where he’s sat, no doubt. Jensen’s mouth has gone dry, his palms are sweating against the steering wheel, and his stomach is making flip flop motions. He loosens his tie and the top button of his shirt for the second time that day, which instantly makes it easier to breathe. He runs his hands through his hair, more nervousness than vanity, then gets out of the truck. There’s a light breeze which feels cool against the sweaty skin on Jensen’s face and neck. He stands there for a few seconds before he takes a deep breath and walks into the bar.

He doesn’t quite know what to expect when he gets in there. There’s the usual after work crowd but it’s not busy, yet. He looks to the bar and spots Carol looking straight at him. He doesn’t see Colin and feels a pang of worry that Carol’s changed her mind. Her walks towards her and smiles as genuinely as he’s able to with being so nervous. They look at each other for what feels like minutes but is probably only a few seconds. The silence only makes him more nervous, he has to break it, “Hi Carol,” he asks, his voice surprisingly steady, “how are you?”

Her expression is unreadable, and when she speaks it’s in a tone that’s eerily calm, “Let me be clear, Jensen. You’re here only because I can’t stand seeing my son in this state,” she leans forward over the bar, “If you do anything, and I mean _anything_ to hurt him, I will cut off your balls and feed them to you, do we understand each other?”

Jensen can only stare, he has no doubt that she’s deadly serious. When he feels like he can speak, he takes a step closer to the bar and looks her in the eyes and with complete conviction, says “I don’t intend to do anything to hurt him, Carol. I know you don’t understand, but I _care about him_. I told you before, I don’t know where this came from, but I’m here because he makes me happy and I’ll do everything I can to make him happy, too.”

Carol looks a little surprised by that, but nods. He thinks her expression may have softened a little but he can’t be sure. She points over his shoulder and Jensen turns, his eyes automatically flicking to the booth he and Chris always sit at. Heat rises in his chest when he sees Colin sat there. He can’t help but smile, somehow the fact that Colin chose to sit there feels significant, somehow. Colin doesn’t look up from his phone and Jensen’s a little relieved about that, he wants to see the teen’s face close up when he sees his date has arrived. 

Jensen turns back to Carol, “So, what’s the situation, here?”

She looks at Colin for a few seconds then reaches under the bar for some glasses. She fills both with Coke and sets them down. Jensen’s heart is beating faster the longer he waits for a reply. 

“These are on the house, everything else you pay for, I’m running a business, here. Be a gentleman, _I’ll be watching you_ ,” she says with a raised eyebrow. 

Jensen nods, “Fair enough,” he gives her a grateful smile, picks up the drinks and walks over to the booth.

§

Carol feels a mix of emotions as she watches Jensen walk towards her baby. She still doesn’t trust him, even though he does seem sincere. Colin is insistent that he’s fully compliant with the relationship and she raised him to know better than to lie to her. Her instinct to protect him is overwhelming, and there’s a voice in her head which sounds an awful lot like her ex-husband telling her she’s a horrible person, and a terrible mother for letting this happen. No matter what Jensen says, none of them can guarantee that Colin won’t get hurt. 

Her stomach twists as Colin’s face lights up when he sees Jensen, pushing himself out of the booth and throwing himself into the man’s arms as soon as he’s set the drinks down. She starts shaking as Jensen squeezes back just as hard and cradles Colin’s head in his palm, before pulling back. He looks like he wants to kiss Colin, but settles for ruffling his hair.

She sighs, telling herself that for now, all she can do is watch them and see how it plays out. Maybe she _is_ a terrible mother, after all.

§

Colin’s attempt to distract himself worked, he’s totally engrossed in a game on his phone when a shadow looms over the table and someone says, “Is this seat free?” 

He recognises the voice and the amusement in it, instantly, “Jensen,” whispers, relieved that he’s actually _here_. He watches as Jen puts the drinks down on the table, and he can’t help himself, he stands up and practically jumps into Jensen’s arms. The man is obviously surprised and lets out an ‘oomph’, but holds onto him anyway.

“Your mom…” Jensen warns, but he doesn’t actually sound all that concerned.

“I don’t care,” he replies, hearing the honesty in his own voice, “I missed you so much.”

Jensen’s arms tighten around him then, strong and grounding, and then Colin feels the heat of one of the older man’s hands stroke his head. He presses his head to Colin’s neck, his breath hot as he speaks, “Missed you, too, baby boy.” There’s something about the pet name that makes Colin freeze for a moment, feeling like he should argue that he’s not a kid, but then realises that Jensen doesn’t mean it in a teasing way…he probably doesn’t even realise he’s said it. A warmth runs through Colin’s chest, that’s something he’ll have to explore at a later date.

They break apart all too quickly for Colin’s liking, and he then takes in Jensen’s appearance. He’s in his work clothes, that’s nothing new, he and Chris used to come in straight from work most times, but now…it’s _different_ , somehow. Colin sees the fitted form of the black pants, the white shirt pulled tight across Jensen’s chest and now he knows what’s under there, it becomes a whole lot sexier. His collar is loose, showing the length of his neck and the tie would be perfect to pull Jensen towards him so he could kiss him senseless. “You look _hot_ dressed like that,” he says in a raspy voice, arousal coursing through him, “Jesus, sit down before I kiss you, mom or no mom!”

Jensen looks startled, then barks out a laugh, “Really? I’ll keep that in mind!” he says with that teasing tone in his voice again. His gaze move from Colin’s eyes to his lips, and for a moment the teen thinks Jensen’s going to kiss him anyway, but he ruffles Colin’s hair, instead. 

No sooner have they sat and Robbie’s there with his order pad, “Do you guys need a menu?” he says without looking at who’s at the table.

“We’re good thanks, man,” Colin replies, amused when the new guy realises who it is.

“Oh hey, kiddo,” he looks across the table at Jensen, “who’s your friend?”

“This is my good friend, Jensen. Get used to him, he’s gonna be around here a lot,” he replies, grinning as he says it.

“Cool,” Robbie says, “so…menu, Jensen?”

Jensen’s eyes haven’t left his and the man reflects Colin’s own grin, his eyes crinkling at the corners, “Nah, I know exactly what I want.”

Colin feels himself blush, then. He wants to reach out and take Jensen’s hand, but can’t risk it, so settles for hooking his foot around the older man’s ankle, “Me too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed the chapter, a bit of angst porn *and* schmoop in there for ya! :) This story isn't finished yet, but I've written 3 chapters in a week and I need to take a break. I won't be away long and in the meantime I want to start on a couple more kink meme fills but they are *as well as* this fic, not instead of. I promise you'll get the last few chapters soon. :)
> 
> As you know, this fic has gone way beyond what I was expecting, and the more I write, the more I want to add to the story. The only way I can get everything in without boring everyone to death is to make this a 'verse and write timestamps here and there, so it looks like I've got my work cut out for a while! *facepalm*


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A/N: There's been a very long break in me writing that last chapter and this one, so please forgive me if I'm rusty! :s

_Two weeks later_  
  
Jared’s finger hovers over the call button, staring at Jensen’s name. He desperately wants to call, but after weeks of only hearing his ex-lover’s voice on his damned voicemail message, he can’t face leaving another stilted, forcibly polite message asking for a return call to discuss the sale of the apartment. He sighs and rubs at the tightness in his chest, but it won’t go. It’s the same tightness – numbness, even – that been in his chest and stomach since Jensen walked out, still pressing down on him like a vice. With no other reasonable option, he types out a text instead, then goes back to packing up their former home.  
  


§

  
Colin is surprised to see his mom waiting for him outside school.  
  
“Hey sweetheart,” Carol says as he climbs into the car. She smiles, but it does nothing to hide the tired, worried look on her face. “How was your day?”  
  
The teen frowns slightly, trying not to let on that he’s noticed something’s wrong, “It was school,” he shrugs. They drive home in a tense silence and by the time they get into their kitchen, he feels like he might explode if he doesn’t say _something_.  
  
“Mom, what’s going on?” he asks, hating how young and timid his voice sounds. He feels his pulse increase and his palms start to sweat as he waits for an answer. Ever since Colin’s date with Jensen, his mom’s been quiet and distant. He daren’t ask what’s going on with her for fear she’s decided that it was a big mistake and forbid him from ever seeing Jensen again. Not that it would make a difference, now Colin’s had a taste, he’s addicted. There’s no way he can be without the man he loves, and he’s ready to fight in every way he can if he has to.  
  
“I met with the bank manager, earlier…it didn’t go as well as I’d hoped it would,” she says with a sigh as she takes a seat at the table.  
  
It takes a minute for Colin’s brain to process that, the sense of dread he was feeling being replaced by relief, until he starts worrying anew. Following Carol’s lead, he sits, feeling like it’s the right thing to do. He notices now that she’s wearing a business suit instead of her usual jeans and shirt. He looks closer and sees that the pale purple bags under her eyes are thinly streaked with black, like she’s been crying and not been able to wipe away her mascara after it ran. It stands out even more now they’re under the fluorescent lights of the kitchen, making her face look more pale and drawn. He’s worried for different reasons, now. He reaches out and takes her hand in both of his, squeezing gently, “Tell me what’s going on, Mom, you’re starting to freak me out!”  
  
Carol squeezes back, covering her eyes with her other hand. A single tear runs down her cheek and she looks up at him with resigned eyes, “We’re in trouble, baby...big trouble.”  
  


§

  
Chris watches Jensen check his phone _yet again_ and his patience snaps. He grabs the phone off the desk, pulling it further from Jensen’s reach when his friend protests, “You’re obsessing, man, it’s supposed to be _him_ that’s the lovesick teenager!”  
  
“Fuck you!” Jensen hisses, pushing out of his chair and snatching his phone back, “It’s not about Colin, it’s…” he rubs his temples and twists his neck to loosen the tense muscles, “…it’s Jared, I have to speak to him about the apartment.”  
  
“Oh,” Chris says, simply, feeling like a bit of a dick, “well you knew it had to happen sooner or later, Jen, it’s best to get it out of the way.”  
  
Jensen drops back down into his office chair, “I know,” he sighs, “I was just hoping I wouldn’t have to see him in person. The realtor called me earlier to say we have a buyer, we need to sign the paperwork and it’s all done.”  
  
“So what’s the problem?” Chris asks, frowning in confusion.  
  
“The problem,” Jensen snaps, then takes a breath and lowers his voice – they’re at work, after all, “the _problem_ is that the buyer wants to take us out to dinner to thank us for the quick sale. I don’t care about the money, I told her to sell to the first buyer, even if it’s below the asking price.”  
  
“OK, so why not just tell them you can’t go?”  
  
“I won’t give him the satisfaction, the slimy fuck!”  
  
Chris can almost feel the tension coming off his friend, and his confusion increases. He leans closer, “Won’t give him the satisfaction? Is Jared causing problems with the sale? I know he’s sorry for what happened, but he’s not that petty…what’s going on, man?”  
  
Jensen stands, stuffing his phone in his pocket and grabbing his jacket, “I’m going to tell him to stick his offer up his ass!” He closes his eyes and Chris can see he’s trying to calm himself down, and if the redness of his friend’s face is any indication, he’s failing, “The buyer wants to remain _anonymous_ , but the realtor has less than subtle in that she has a crush on me and knows some of mine and Jared’s history. She hates him, that much is clear…she let the buyer’s name slip, _accidentally_ , of course!”  
  
Chris stands now, his own heart beating faster, needing to know what’s got his friend so worked up, “And?”  
  
There’s hurt in Jensen’s eyes alongside the anger, and tears that are welling up in his eyes, “It’s him, Chris, it’s _Jeff_ , the guy I caught fucking Jared.”  


§

  
Carol feels exhausted, both physically and emotionally. She’s poured out her heart to Colin, told him everything about their financial situation, the impact it could have on the business and their lives. She told him about the cutbacks they’ll have to make to keep their heads above water, but managed to stop short of spelling out that they may have to move to a cheaper neighbourhood, or even another town if she can’t keep the bar open. She feels guilty enough as it is - the boy is fifteen, he shouldn’t have to worry about things like that, yet since her sorry excuse for a husband up and left, he’s been the man of the house. In hindsight she’s put too much responsibility on him, too much pressure on his young shoulders, and now she absolutely refuses to lay this one on him.  
  
She can’t face the bar tonight, she just can’t bring herself to put her cheerful mask on for the customers. Thankfully her most reliable bartender, Ellen, is back from a couple of weeks out sick, so Carol knows the place is in good hands. She’s not sure how long she’s been sitting with her head in her hands, but when she smells the unmistakable scent of her favourite bubble bath wafting down the hall, she guesses it’s been some time. She looks up to find Colin in the doorway, fluffy towel and robe in his hands. He holds his hand out to her and she automatically gets up and takes it, following him into the bathroom.  
  
Sure enough, Colin has run her a bath, bubbles everywhere and lit what looks like every ornamental candle she’s ever owned. There’s a large glass perched on the side of the tub, next to a bottle of an open bottle of her favourite wine. She feels a lump forming in her throat and a fresh surge of extra love for her boy. Such a simple gesture, yet it means so much at that moment. She realises Colin still has hold of her hand and he uses it to pull her towards him, wrapping her in a tight hug, “Don’t worry, Mom,” he says quietly, as if he’s trying to soothe a frightened animal, “we’ll work something out.”  
  


§

  
Colin’s pacing his room, tension throughout his body. With every pass by his bed he stares at his phone, lying where it landed after he threw it in a fit of frustration. He’s angry with...well, everything. Angry at himself for being so blind that he couldn’t see what his mom was going through all this time, because why didn’t he know that something else was going on? He’s been so pre-occupied with school and Jensen that home has fallen by the wayside, that’s why. He’s angry with Carol for keeping this from him, though deep down he knows why she did, which only makes him _more_ angry at himself. Worst of all right now, he’s angry with _Jensen_.  
  
After he’s closed the bathroom door on his mom, Colin went to straight to his bedroom, grabbed his phone and dialled Jensen’s number. As he listened to it ring he didn’t know exactly how he was going to explain to Jensen what was going on, but for now he just needed to hear the man’s voice. Instead of the greeting he’d been expecting, he got Jensen’s voicemail. He hung up, not really knowing what to say. He made two more attempts at calling, the line ringing time and time again before switching to the impersonal message. The third time it goes immediately to voicemail but this time it felts as if that one was deliberate. He was irrationally annoyed, but at the same time realised that Jensen wass probably still in work, so he decided to text instead.  
  
 _U ok? Tried calling but kept getting v/mail :( Need 2 hear ur voice, had a really shitty day..._  
  
The reply came only a couple of minutes later.  
  
 _Jensen: Cant’ talk ATM_  
  
Colin couldn’t help but feel disappointed, he was used to Jensen making time for him. He knew full well he was being spoiled in that way, but that text felt... _impersonal_ , somehow.  
  
 _OK. Call me later?_  
  
Again, a quick reply.  
  
 _Jensen: Can’t._  
  
Now Colin was getting annoyed as well as worried.  
  
 _What’s wrong?_  
  
 _Jensen: It’s nothing to do with you. I’ll call tomorrow._  
  
 _R u pissed at me?_  
  
 _Jensen: JFC Colin, not everything is about you. Just drop it._  
  
The teen had typed out several replies in anger, varying from asking what was going on, to “fuck you”. In the end he pressed cancel and threw the phone away from him. There was a small sense of satisfaction in the thud it made as it bounced from the bed and hit the wall, then a pang of worry that he may have damaged it, followed by relief as it settled back on the bed, unharmed.  
  
Now, he could feel himself scowling as he paced. His anger was starting to turn into weariness, the adrenaline that had been pumping through him seemed to be finally settling, making him feel heavy and emotional. He sat on his bed but didn’t look at the phone, despite the vibration and flashing LED light telling him he had messages.  
  
He heard his mom come out of the bathroom and soon she was stood in his bedroom doorway, “Hey,” she said softly, her voice croaky, “you OK?”  
  
Colin sighed, “Yeah, I guess,” he lied. He couldn’t very well bring up the brush off from Jensen, his mom had more important things on her mind. He couldn’t help the twist in his gut at being dismissed so easily, though, wondering what he’d done wrong, what he’d done to deserve such unusually harsh words from the older man.  
  
Carol smiled softly and walked over to Colin, placing a kiss to his forehead, “I need sleep,” she cupped his chin and pulled his face towards hers, “and so do you, it’s geetting late.”  
  
Colin glanced at his alarm clock, somehow it was gone ten thirty. He must’ve been sat there for longer than he’d realised, “Yeah, OK, I’ll turn in soon.”  
  
“Do you want a sandwich or something, we missed dinner?”  
  
The thought of food turned his stomach, “Nah, I’m not hungry.”  
  
Carol ruffled his hair, “He says for the first time _ever_!”  
  
He mustered as much of a smile as he could, “Do you want me to get you something?”  
  
Carol shakes her head then winces, “I had a liquid dinner, I’m going to bed.” He watches as she makes her way out of the room with a slight wobble.  
  
After a few more minutes he kicks off his shoes and slips his jeans and socks off before going to the bathroom to brush his teeth and to pee. His phone vibrates again as he reaches the bed and he’s torn. He feels shitty enough after his mom’s revelations about their finances, he doesn’t know if he can face more mysterious texts…but he needs to know. There are two missed calls and three texts, all from Jensen. Colin can’t help but smile, relief spreading through his tired frame as he realises that if Jensen was pissed at him, he wouldn’t have been making the effort to contact him.  
  
 _Jensen: Sorry, just got some shit to deal with. Forgive me?_  
  
 _Jensen: I was a dick. Please don’t be mad at me._  
  
 _Jensen: I get it, you’re mad. I’ll explain tomorrow. Wish I was there with you, wanna feel you in my arms._  
  
Colin notices there’s also a voicemail. With a sigh he presses call and listens to Jensen’s strained voice, “Shit, Colin, I wish you’d answered, though may be this better,” the teen is immediately worried, his stomach clenching, wondering what the problem is. Why is it better not to speak personally? Is he _breaking up with me?_ is all the Colin can think. In his panic he realises he’s missed a portion of the message so plays it again. This time he even breathes quietly, but his heartbeat is thumping in his chest and ears, making it hard to keep calm.  
  
“…I didn’t know whether to tell you or not, I’m so pissed right now. I don’t wanna do this I don’t wanna be here…,” Jensen sighs and Colin can see in his mind that the older man is frowning and pinching the bridge of his nose, “I have to see him…I need to sort…fuck, this is so wrong.” There’s a long pause and Colin thinks the message has ended until he hears a sniffle in the background, then a man’s voice calling Jensen’s name somewhere close by. Colin thinks for a second that he recognises that voice but can’t place it, but before he can think more on it, Jensen’s voice is back, “I gotta go. I…I… _sigh_ …I miss you. We’ll talk soon, OK?”  
  
Colin is relieved, his insecurities are getting the better of him and he mentally kicks himself for doubting Jensen again…but then he hears something else. Jensen obviously thought he’d ended the call, but Colin can hear a muffled partial conversation going on, “Jared I was the phone, couldn’t you wait five minutes?” The call does cut off, then, and Colin is stunned…Jensen was with Jared. The older man couldn’t talk to him because he was with _Jared_. The events of the whole night come crashing down and Colin can’t breathe. Had Jensen been lying to him this whole time? After everything they’d been through, had Jensen decided that it was too much trouble to be with Colin and gone back to Jared? The thought made him sick to his stomach, and after quickly running to his bathroom and throwing up, Colin sobbed. He sat on the floor next to the toilet, his knees drawn up to his chest and sobbed.  
  


§

  
Jensen’s head is pounding from stress and anger, and his jaw is aching from where he’s grinding his teeth to keep his mouth shut for as long as he has. He’s furious with Jared, all he wanted was a five minute reprieve from the torture that is this Godforsaken evening, but it seems he can’t even get that! He follows Jared back to the table, determined to wrap this up as soon as possible.  
  
“I have to say I’m surprised at how easily you’ve given in, Jensen,” Jeff says with smug satisfaction in his voice, “I thought you’d have put up more of a fight for…what was yours.” His eyes rake over Jared’s face and chest, in a way that’s more than obvious that he’s taking about the man himself as opposed to the apartment Jeff just bought.  
  
“I find it best to pick my battles,” Jensen says, forcing himself to keep his voice calm, “some things are worth fighting for, and others…well...there’s times you have to just walk away. I can find another apartment.”  
  
Jeff almost looks disappointed that Jensen didn’t take the bait, and Jensen takes his own satisfaction from that. He looks over to Jared and is surprised to see him throw a look of what could only be described as disgust, in Jeff’s direction. It’s only now Jensen looks that he can Jared’s body turned slightly away from Jeff, his arms pulled close into his body and not relaxed like usual. Huh, maybe there was trouble in paradise! He can’t find it in himself to give a shit, he’s still too hurt at the betrayal and all he wants to do is get out of here.  
  
He checks his watch - a little after eleven - and hopes Colin’s still awake because after tonight, Jensen’s desperate to see him. The teen hasn’t replied to any of his texts, which he guesses isn’t unreasonable given that Jensen’s acted like a dick, but it hurts to think that he’s not even had a pissed off response. Colin’s a teenager after all, he likes to get the last word in, which is frustrating and also kind of adorable…not that he’d ever admit that out loud, he’d never live it down.  
  
As soon as the bill comes, Jensen reaches for it - the sooner it’s paid, the sooner he can get the fuck out – but it’s pulled away by Jeff before he can lay a finger on it, ”Oh please, I insist,” he says, “what’s a few more hundred dollars when I’ve already paid out hundreds of _thousands_ today?”  
  
Jensen wants to punch him, the pounding of the blood through his veins would make a lovely rhythm to keep time to while he lands hit after hit onto Jeff’s smug face, but he’s better than that. Instead he stands, tugs his jacket on and turns to the table, “Until your cheque clears, you’ve bought nothing but a fancy dinner, Jeff,” he says politely as possible…far more politely than Jeff deserves, but Jensen’s the bigger man, here. He smiles briefly at the estate agent and nods briefly at Jared before turning and hurrying to his truck.  
  


§

  
Colin can’t feel his ass anymore and he’s also lost most of the feeling in his feet where they’re crossed at the ankles. The bathroom is cold now, the tiles underneath him even colder and he knows he can’t stay here. He drags himself up, standing on shaky legs and hanging on to the sink. Once the room stops spinning he splashes water on his face, quickly brushes his teeth again and gargles mouthwash to try and get rid of the bile he can still taste.  
  
Slowly, he makes his way towards the bed, each step feeling heavier than the last. The room is dark but there’s enough light from the hallway for him to see where he’s going. He’s shivering now, feeling cold right down to his bones, his nipples hurt with being hard from the cold, and he can feel goosebumps on his arms.  
  
He roots around in the drawer and pulls out a pair of sweatpants, which he steps into quickly, then grabs a blanket and wraps it around his shoulders. He pulls it tight to feel the warmth and comfort, in a poor imitation of a hug. He immediately wishes he was wrapped up in Jensen’s arms, before realising his brain’s mistake. A fresh wave of nausea hits him but he manages to push it down, too exhausted to get back to the bathroom.  
  
He burrows under the covers and tries to turn his brain off. He’s drifting off to sleep when a loud knocking from downstairs startles him. Colin climbs out of bed, pads through the kitchen and hovers at the top of the stairs when he hears Ellen’s raised voice.  
  
“Go home, buddy, it’s passed midnight, we’re _closed_!”  
  
There’s a male voice, muffled by the doors and distance, and he’s obviously trying to persuade Ellen to open the door, “Fucking drunks!” he mutters to himself, turning back towards his room, knowing that the doors are locked and Ellen’s more than capable of dealing with drunken assholes. Her voice stops him moving out of the kitchen, though.  
  
“What? Sorry buddy, it’s a school night, he’ll be asleep now.”  
  
There’s no-one else the guy at the door could possibly be asking for but him. He sighs and heads down to the bar with a sense of dread.  
  


§

  
Jensen rests his head against the door frame outside Ford’s. He knows it’s late, but he _needs_ to see Colin. He also knows that he’s acting irrationally, but he’s had such a shitty day and now his boy is mad at him…he can’t stand it. He’s about to call out again, asking to be let in, when he hears Colin’s voice from the other side of the door. He opens his mouth to speak, but when the door is wrenched open and Colin is standing there’s looking like death warmed up, the words die on his tongue.  
  
“Shit, are you OK?” Colin looks pale, his eyes puffy and he looks worn out. Jensen takes a step forward, intent on pulling the teen into his arms and hugging him, but Colin seems to anticipate this and steps back, “What happened, are you sick? Do you need me to get you something? The pharmacy around the corner is open all night...” Jensen’s confused as to why Colin backed away from him, and it leaves an ache in his gut.  
  
“I need you to go,” Colin says, his voice raw and pained.  
  
“What are you talking about?” Jensen asks, immediately. He can hear the distress in his own voice.  
  
The teen barely looks at him. His shoulders are set firm and his tone leaves no room for doubt, “Go away Jensen, I don’t want to see you.”  
  
Jensen takes another step forward, wanting to step inside but Colin blocks the door with his body, “What the fuck’s going on?” Jensen’s not sure what he expected, but it wasn’t this. He knew the teen was going to be pissed at him, but this wasn’t right, there was something very wrong here. He grips the door frame and looks into Colin’s bloodshot eyes, “Baby, please, tell me what’s wrong?”  
  
Colin looks at him, a range of emotions crossing his young face and his eyes are becoming wetter by the second. Jensen feels his sense of panic growing, he wants to make this right but he doesn’t know what he’s supposed to fix. The teen opens his mouth several times, and each time Jensen’s heartbeat increases. Eventually there is a reply, and judging by how fast the words come out, the older man can only assume that Colin was trying to keep them in.  
  
“I know you were with Jared tonight. You blew me off so you could be with him, you fucking bastard!”  
  
Jensen’s heart sinks, “Shit!” he whispers, “I…yeah I was but…that’s why I wanted to talk to you,” he steps closer again, but Colin puts a hand in the middle of his chest and pushes. It’s not enough to make Jensen stumble, but he gets the message, “please, just let me explain!”  
  
Colin’s reply is to briefly close his eyes, causing the tears building up to spill down his cheeks, then shut the door in Jensen’s face.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yikes, I don't seem to be able to stop with the angst! \o/ Rest assured, our boys will get their happy (and sexy) times, shortly! ;)


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Another long delay between chapters, I sincerely apologise. I hope you guys haven't lost interest! =/ There is of course lots more angst, but I promised you sexy times, too...so have at it! =)

Chris rolls over in bed to look at the clock to see only twenty minutes have passed since he last checked. He decides to get up, there’s no point tossing and turning, there must be something on TiVo that he can watch instead of basically lying there waiting for Jensen to come home. His friend’s a grown man and can stay out as late as he wants, but it’s unusual for him not to answer texts. If he’s honest with himself, the older man is getting a little worried.  
  
After Jensen’s meltdown over Colin, Chris doesn’t want to take any chances that his friend is off drowning his sorrows and doing something stupid after a forced dinner with Jared and Jeff. He could see how upset Jensen was before he left and just hopes his friend is handling the situation.  


§

  
Colin’s needed to pee for the past hour but he feels too exhausted to move. He _is_ exhausted, seeing as the only sleep he’s had was plagued with images of Jensen and Jared laughing at him, which only resulted in him jerking awake and realising that his nightmare is probably true.  
  
He hears his Mom moving around the apartment and knows she’ll be shouting him to get up for school, soon. That’s not going to happen, there’s no way he can go out into civilisation today. With great effort he heaves himself out of bed and towards his bathroom. Out of habit he flicks the light on on his way to the toilet, and squints at the glare of the too bright bulb.  
  
Once he’s emptied his aching bladder he washes his hands, then splashes water on his face. Slowly he opens his eyes and takes in his appearance in the mirror above the sink…it’s worse than he thought. His eyelids are sore and swollen, which was to be expected with all the crying he’s done in the past few hours. They’re not red like he expected, but purple, as are the bags underneath his eyes. Basically, he looks like shit.  
  
His mouth tastes like something died in it and he pours a capful of mouthwash and rinses, then another to be sure the taste has gone. As he’s spitting, he can hear his mom knocking on his door, then the click as she opens it.  
  
“Are you up, kiddo?” she asks in a strained voice…she’s obviously suffering after effects of last night’s drinking.  
  
Colin turns off the light and walks back into his room. He doesn’t want her to see he’s been crying, even hungover she’ll push him for what’s wrong. He shuffles back to his bed and sits on the edge. With a sigh he says, “I’m not feeling well, I can’t go to school today, Mom.” He barely recognises his own voice it’s so croaky. It’s only then he realises his throat is sore as hell as well, it feels like he’s been swallowing razor blades!  
  
“Oh honey,” Carol says, moving forward and placing the back of her hand to his forehead, “you sound terrible.”  
  
“I feel it.”  
  
Carol pulls the covers back from the bed and lifts her chin, indicating he should get back in, “I’ll get you some Advil.”  
  
He waits until she’s come back with the pills and a large glass of water, which he takes, gratefully. The water simultaneously soothes and stings his throat, but he drinks it all down, “Thanks.”  
  
Carol tucks the covers back around him. Colin wants to protest that he’s not seven years old any more, but he’s actually pretty grateful for it because he doesn’t think he can summon the energy needed to get his arms to work to do it himself. As Carol’s fussing, making sure he’s all snug as a bug, her hand bumps his phone which he’d left next to his pillow. He hasn’t checked it, he can’t stand any more bullshit from Jensen, “Does this need charging?”  
  
“Probably.” One word answers are the order of the day, he decides.  
  
Carol nods, and connects it to the charger on Colin’s dresser. “I’ll check on you in a little while,” she says before closing the door quietly behind her.  
  
It’s not long before Colin feels exhaustion get the better of him and drifts off to sleep.  
  


§

  
Jensen hasn’t stopped fidgeting or checking his phone all morning and it’s starting to piss Chris off “What the hell, man?” he snaps after three hours. Jensen glares at him but says nothing, just goes back to flicking through the papers in the folder on his desk with such force that Chris thinks one of the pages will rip any minute.  
  
The older man goes back to writing up the quote he’s been working on until Jensen throws the folder across the room with a growl, “Seriously, Jen,” he sighs, “what’s the matter with you? You ignored me when you got in last night, and don’t pretend you didn’t hear me knocking on your door.” Jensen gives him a slightly guilty look but keeps quiet until Chris goes for the thing most likely to have his friend so worked up, “Did things go that badly with Jared?”  
  
“Fuck Jared!” Jensen spits, slamming his hand on the desk.  
  
Chris jumps at the noise despite himself. He holds his hands up in a calming gesture, “Jesus, I’m sorry I asked!”  
  
Jensen hunches over the desk, his hands covering his face for a good thirty seconds. Chris watches his friend as he lets out a breath, then scrubs a hand over his face. It’s only now that he notices how tired Jensen looks, but he doesn’t comment, just waits for the response he hopes is coming.  
  
Jensen pushes up from his desk and grabs his phone, “I need to go out for a while. If Jim asks where I’ve gone, tell him I’m taking an early lunch,” he says, heading for the door.  
  
Chris swivels his chair around, “Jen, it’s barely eleven AM, man,” but the words are wasted, Jensen’s already halfway down the corridor.  
  


§

  
Jensen sits in his car for a while, trying to calm down before driving. He’s hurt and confused over what happened with Colin, and he’s still angry about the dinner with Jared and Jeff. On top of that, the stupid realtor has called him six times already this morning. He’s sent every call to voicemail but no message has been left. _Of course_ she wants to speak to him personally!  
  
When the text tone chirrups on his phone, Jensen grabs it so quickly that he ends up almost dropping it on the floor of the truck. He swallows hard before reading the display, hoping with all of his might that he’ll see Colin’s name. His heart sinks when he sees Jared’s name, instead. He sighs, not really wanting to deal with it, but clicks on it anyway.  
  
 _Jared: Danneel keeps calling. Jeff’s changed his offer on the apartment._  
  
“Fuck, what now?” Jensen mumbles to himself. He really doesn’t need any complications with this sale, the sooner it’s done, the sooner he can close the door on the Jared chapter of his life.  
  
What do you mean, changed it?  
  
 _Jared: Can we talk instead of text?_  
  
Jensen doesn’t even give it a second thought, no they damn well can’t talk! He types out that fact and angrily stabs at the send button.  
  
 _Jared: Fine. He’s decided to offer 25k less than asking price._  
  
Jensen stares at the text in disbelief! He decides not to reply, he’s too angry. Even though he said he’d accept less than the asking price, this is purely Jeff mocking him, the dick. “That fucker!” he shouts to the empty truck, banging the heel of his hand repeatedly on the steering wheel.  
  
His head is throbbing for what feels like the millionth time in the last few months. Between hardly getting any sleep and the stress of the whole debacle with Jared, and to a certain extent, Colin, is getting too much for him. He feels an anxiety attack slowing coming on, so he does his breathing exercises to try and lessen it. It works, but only just. The only thing that will really help the situation is seeing Colin.  
  


§

  
Carol is on her fourth coffee of the morning but it’s doing nothing to perk her up. She’s not been hungover in years, but she figures it’s her own fault so refuses to feel sorry for herself. She stands up with determination to get ready to open the bar, but the room spins as soon as she’s upright. “Balls,” she says, even more irritated with herself, now. She looks at the bottle of Advil she left out after getting some out for Colin, and gives in. She hates taking pills unless she needs to, but her head isn’t going to get any better on its own. She’s washing the Advil down with a large class of water when there’s a loud knocking at the door downstairs.  
  
She makes her way down the stairs more carefully than she’d like to admit, the knocking is getting more urgent…and louder as she gets closer to the source, much to her headaches chagrin. Her annoyance turns to surprise when she opens the door and finds Jensen there.  
  
“Um, hey, what are you doing here?”  
  
“I came to see Colin,” he says, hurriedly, “is he feeling better?”  
  
Carol frowns in confusion, “How did you know he was sick?”  
  
“I spoke to him last night. How is he? Can I see him?” Jensen replies, urgency in his voice.  
  
He’s worried, that much is clear from the look on his face, and his tone sounds a little desperate so she gives in, “Come on in.”  
  
She has to take a step back quicker than her head and stomach are happy with as Jensen moves like he’s coming out of a starter’s block, “Hey, where’s the fire, buddy?”  
  
Jensen winces, “Sorry, I just need to see him.”  
  
“OK, you can come up but if he’s asleep I’m not waking him.”  
  
Jensen nods his head quickly, “Sure, thank you.”  
  
Once they’re in the kitchen, Carol motions to the coffee machine, “Help yourself, I’ll see if he’s awake.” Jensen nods and she heads to Colin’s room. She taps gently on the door and gets no reply. She debates knocking louder but doesn’t want to disturb him if he’s still sound asleep like the last couple of times she checked. She opens the door as quietly as she can and puts her head around the door. The room is still dark and silent, “Are you awake, honey?” she whispers.  
  
There’s a snuffling sound coming from the bed but it’s too quiet to hear if he’s trying to respond or not, so she tiptoes to the bed, “Colin?” The lump under the covers stirs slightly.  
  
“Hmmm?” comes the response. Carol can’t help the fond chuckle that slips out of her mouth…her boy has made the same questioning noise when he’s half asleep since he was a toddler. She curses herself as Colin jumps a little at the noise, “Wha’s goin’ ‘n?” he mumbles.  
  
Carol debates leaving him to go back to sleep, but the look of genuine concern on Jensen’s face comes into her mind, and for reasons she can’t fathom she thinks that seeing Jensen might lift Colin’s spirits, “You need to drink, honey, I’ll fix you some tea. Come and get it when you’re ready.”  
  
The teen makes a noise that sounds like agreement, so she heads back to the kitchen.  
  


§

  
When Carol comes back so quickly, Jensen fears the worst. Colin’s still asleep and so the torture of not speaking to him will drag on. It takes him a few seconds to register that she’s filling the kettle and putting a tea bag into a mug, “He’s awake?”  
  
“Just about, don’t expect to get much sense out of him, though,” she yawns.  
  
The fact that Colin’s at least awake and not in a fever haze calms Jensen a little, and he lets go of a breath he didn’t know he was holding, “I can live with that,” he says, feeling a smile creeping on to his face. His eyes follow Carol around the kitchen as she brews the tea, slices some lemon and adds it to the mug along with some honey before placing it on the table.  
  
She sits down and Jensen feels like he should start a conversation, but then realises the longer it’s taking for Colin to emerge from his room, the more nervous he’s becoming. He’s done nothing but worry about his boyfriend’s health, because from his appearance last night there was obviously something physically wrong with Colin. Maybe mentally, too, after all the kid must have been thinking all kinds of things about him being with Jared last night. It’s killing Jensen that he couldn’t explain why before now.  
  
Approaching footsteps pull him out of his musings. Colin looks worse than he did last night, and Jensen’s heart aches.  
  


§

  
Colin steps into the kitchen expecting to see his mom, but seeing Jensen there shocks him. His stomach flip flops and he feels sick again on seeing the older man at his table, unannounced and unwelcome. Anger rises up and before he can stop the words, he blurts, “What the hell are you doing here?”  
  
He has a distant thought that he should probably feel guilty at Jensen’s disappointed and hurt look, but he pushes it down as quickly as he can after a glance at his mom tells him she’s confused at his outburst. He’s not in the mood for questions any more than he was a few hours ago. He loudly clears his throat – _fuck that hurts_ \- before speaking again, “I mean, shouldn’t you be at work?”  
  
“I took an early lunch,” Jensen says, quietly.  
  
Colin can read between the lines, he knows that’s Jensen’s way of saying he needed to see him, but the teen is too hurt to care. He doesn’t respond, just sits down and pulls the mug of tea towards him. The last thing he needs right now is his mom to get suspicious, she has enough to worry about right now after what she told him about their money situation.  
  
“How are you feeling?” Jensen says, sliding his hand tentatively across the table towards him.  
  
Colin pulls his hands up and cups both of them around the mug, lifting it to his lips and taking a deep drink. It’s too hot, really, but he needs to calm himself before any of them hear the shakiness in his voice, “Shitty,” he says, honestly.  
  
“Language,” Carol scorns.  
  
“Sorry. I feel like crap,” he raises and eyebrow to his mom, “better?”  
  
She rolls her eyes but doesn’t say anything else about it.  
  
“Do you mind if Colin and I talk a while?” Jensen asks, politely, giving Carol one of his soft smiles that he must know gets him further than it has any right to.  
  
Colin sips his tea, hoping she’ll say no, not wanting her to leave them alone. He almost chokes when she agrees, but covers it with a fake cough.  
  
“Maybe I should get you something for that before it gets too bad,” she says, rubbing small circles on Colin’s back.  
  
“I can go to the pharmacy if you need to get the bar ready to open,” Jensen offers.  
  
“I’m fine,” Colin huffs, “stop fussing, both of you,” he stands, “I just need more sleep.”  
  
Carol frowns at him, “Honey, Jensen’s come to see how you are, give the man five minutes can’t you?”  
  
 _That’s rich_ , Colin thinks, but says, “OK, five minutes I can do.” He forces a small smile for his mom’s benefit.  
  
“Okie dokie, well this bar ain’t gonna open itself,” Carol says, pushing up from the table. She looks between Colin and Jensen, and the teen feels like he’s under a microscope. She turns to Jensen, “He needs rest, I’ll be downstairs when you’re done.”  
  


§

  
Jensen feels like he’s coming out of his skin. He hates that Colin pulled away from him, and the hurt he can see on the kid’s face makes his heart ache even more. He wants to launch into an explanation about last night, but he thinks Colin will take that as a sign of a guilty conscience. He _does_ feel guilty, but not for the reasons Colin thinks.  
  
They sit there in silence for what’s probably a minute but feels like an hour, and just when Jensen thinks he can’t take any more, Colin stands again and goes to the sink. He throws the remainder of his tea into it and slams the mug down. He keeps his back to Jensen, shoulders set solid and hands gripping the edge of the counter.  
  
“I need you to go, Jensen. I can’t do this.”  
  
Jensen’s instinct is to rush forward and wrap Colin in his arms, comfort him and never let go, but he has to fight it. He’s likely to get a punch, he’s sure of it. Then again, maybe he deserves it, he thinks. He sighs, determined to make the most of being the same room as Colin, even if that time is extremely limited.  
  
“I’m not going anywhere until you talk to me. You’re hurting, but you’ve got it all wrong, baby, it’s not what you think.”  
  
“Jensen,” Colin warns, “I don’t want to hear your bullshit!”  
  
Colin’s voice is louder than it was a few seconds ago, and Jensen realises he’s moved towards the teen without being aware of doing it. He’s on autopilot when he reaches out and puts a hand on Colin’s shoulder. He can feel the muscles under his fingers tense even more, but he decides now that he’s willing to risk the punch. Slowly he squeezes and gently pulls, trying to get Colin to turn around. When Colin doesn’t seem to fight him, his heart beats faster and he applies more pressure. He’s both surprised and relieved when the teen slowly turns to face him.  
  
Colin’s face is flushed, his eyes are wet and his jaw is set, lips pressed thin as if to stop himself speaking. Jensen’s hand is still on the teen’s shoulder so he takes a small step forward, while sliding his hand up to Colin’s neck. Muscles tense again, but he makes no move to shrug Jensen off. Now Jensen can feel Colin’s pulse and it’s racing just as fast as his own.  
  
“Look at me,” Jensen says softly, Colin’s eyes go everywhere but to the older man’s face, “baby, _please_!” The pleading is his voice is evident even to himself, and it works because Colin’s baby blues lock onto his almost immediately. Jensen opens his mouth to speak but Colin cuts him off before he can start.  
  
“I said I don’t want to hear your bullshit,” he says, softer than expected…then Jensen realises it’s defeat he can hear in the young voice, “I get it, you’re bored with me and going back to him.”  
  
Jensen lets out a half sigh, half laugh, closing his eyes briefly before bringing his other hand up and placing it firmly on Colin’s shoulder. He steps closer until he can feel the heat of the teen’s body, “I promise you, I’m not going back to Jared…we are _so over_ , we have been for a long time.”  
  
“So what was last night? Where were you?” his voices gets louder and angrier with each question, “Why did you have to see him in person, what couldn’t be done on the phone?” Colin closes his eyes and tears stream down his cheeks, “Why didn’t you _tell me?_ ” he asks with a sob.  
  
It’s that last question that breaks Jensen, so much pain in those five words. He swallows around the lump in his throat, then feels tears of his own hot on his cheeks. He leans down and rests his forehead against Colin’s, feeling the teen let out another sob at the same time as gripping the front of Jensen’s shirt. When the older man looks up again, he doesn’t know whether Colin’s going to push him away like last night, or whether he’s holding Jensen in place. He’s rooted to the spot, if he’s going to move it will be because Colin moved him.  
  
“I’m so sorry, I fucked up.”  
  
Colin studies him and Jensen holds his breath, “Ya think?” the teen says, sounding both incredulous and sarcastic at the same time, pushing at Jensen’s chest, but not releasing the death grip on his shirt.  
  
He can’t help it, Jensen throws his head back and laughs. It lets most of the tension out of him and a weight feels like it’s been lifted of his chest. He hears Colin huff, but when he looks back at him, there’s a smirk on his face.  
  
“I hate you,” Colin says, without venom. He’s not relaxed totally, but as Jensen squeezes his shoulder, muscles give under his hand. The older man takes a step closer, so close that he can smell Colin’s familiar scent. He slips the hand from the side Colin’s neck to the nape, threading his fingers into the hairs there and leans in so that their lips are almost touching.  
  
“You _love_ me…” Jensen teases, knowing he might be pushing his luck, especially because they haven’t talked yet, “the thing is, it’s a really a good job that I love you, too.”  
  
Colin gasps just as Jensen places a gentle kiss on his lips. He pulls back, terrified he’s gone too far. Colin is looking at him with something akin to disbelief, his breath coming faster than before, “Say that again,” he croaks, tightening his grip on Jensen’s shirt.  
  
Jensen has no idea why Colin is looking at him like that, but repeats the words anyway, “You love me, and I love you,” … he’s waiting for… _something_ , he’s kinda lost, truth be told. He watches Colin’s Adam’s apple bob as he swallows, watches as the teen licks his swollen lips.  
  
“That’s the first time you’ve said it,” Colin whispers.  
  
Frowning, Jensen disagrees, “No, that can’t be right…” he searches Colin’s face again, and is met with the teen’s ‘I know I’m right’, face, “Really?”  
  
Colin nods, eyes dropping to Jensen’s lips, “I’ve told you, but you…you never said it back.”  
  
With a shock, Jensen realises it’s true. He’s told Colin how much he wants to be with him, and how much he _wants_ him, but those three little words have never passed his lips. He blinks at Colin, who’s suddenly looks very sheepish, like Jensen might take it back any minute. There’s only one thing for it, Jensen cups both of Colin’s cheeks, and places soft kisses to his forehead, both eyelids and cheeks, his chin, an “I love you” whispered between each kiss. Finally he reaches Colin’s lips and presses the softest kiss he can, there, before pulling back to look into his eyes, “I love you, I _really fucking_ love you…so much it hurts” he says, his tone leaving no room for doubt.  
  
The grin that spreads across Colin’s face is one of the most beautiful things he’s seen. Jensen can’t help but grin back. Slowly the teen’s face drops and he loosens his grip. He dips his head and Jensen’s worry starts anew, “What is it?” he asks, one hand slipping back to the nape of Colin’s neck. He dimly registers that he’s fast becoming obsessed with that particular part of Colin’s body..  
  
The teen takes a deep breath, “No more Jared?”  
  
Jensen’s pulse slows with relief, “No more Jared,” he brings his other hand to stroke Colin’s cheek, “anything else we need to talk about can be through text or lawyers, and I promise to tell you _everything_.”  
  
Colin nods, sliding both hands to Jensen’s shoulders and Jensen going willingly as he’s being pulled forward so that there’s no room between them. Tthey’re both breathing heavily, even before their lips crush together. Jensen can’t get enough of the heat of Colin’s mouth, the wet slide of Colin’s tongue along his is pure bliss. He hears himself moan loudly as he feels his boy tilt his hips forward to let Jensen feel him hard in his sweatpants, but he doesn’t care, and tilts his own hips in response.  
  
Colin pulls out of the kiss and _whimpers_ , and heat rushes through Jensen’s entire body, his own cock is suddenly achingly hard. He watches as Colin lets his head fall back, exposing the long, long column of his neck, and Jensen has no choice but to dive in. He nuzzles, licks and kisses, taking deep breaths, pulling as much of Colin’s sweet scent into his lung as possible. His hands have a mind of their own, he wants to touch Colin’s chest, to pull and twist his sensitive nipples and hear that delicious whimper again, but he also wants to rake his nails down Colin’s back and make him gasp with the pain and pleasure of it. That’s not enough, though, he also wants to explore Colin’s stomach, hips and cock with his mouth…he wants everything at once, and judging by how hard Colin is panting and how loud he’s moaning, he feels the same.  
  
Now Jensen does worry about the noise, Carol is right downstairs, so he crushes his lips to Colin’s again, swallowing all the noises that he wants to hear out loud. He is working a hand in between their bodies, trying to get his hand into Jensen’s thin work pants, but Jensen can’t allow that. With enormous effort, he steps back and puts a hand in the middle of Colin’s heaving chest, “We can’t,” he says, breathlessly, “you have no idea how much I want to, but your mom…”  
  
Colin squirms, cupping the tent in his sweats, “Jensen, _please_ , I’m so close,” Jensen is torn between doing the right thing, and going right back to what they were doing… like, _really_ torn. His cock throbs and aches as Colin slides a hand into his sweats and starts pumping slowly, teasing both of them. He pushes the front of his sweats down and tucks them under his swollen balls, giving Jensen a show. He’s shaking with the effort not to speed up, and the older man’s knees feel weak, “Stop,” he means to sound authoritative but it comes out like a plea, “just…fuck, just wait...” He moves as quickly as he can towards the stairs and listens. He can hear Carol moving crates, bottles rattling as they go into the fridge. He plans to put a stop to it, to save it for when they’re alone, but then he looks back at Colin. He’s sweating now, shaking even more as he very slowly twists the head of his cock between thumb and two fingers. He looks at longingly at Jensen and there’s barely any blue left in his eyes, they’re all pupil.  
  
“Jen, hurry,” he pleads with a shaky, hoarse voice.  
  
“Fucking _hell_!” Jensen groans. He’s back across to Colin before he knows it, covering the teen’s large hand with his own, “this has to be quick,” and before Colin can answer, Jensen’s dropped to his knees and is practically inhaling the teen’s cock. It’s scorching hot, salty, musky and perfect. If they had time, Jensen would bring him to edge over and over until Colin was begging to come, but that will have to wait for another day. He pulls off long enough to say, “Keep quiet,” before he goes to work.  
  
Soon there’s a sharp tug on his hair, which Jensen didn’t need as a warning. He know Colin’s about to come, his cock is already swelling and jerking in Jensen’s mouth. He slides back a little so he doesn’t choke and gives a hard suck. Colin yells – so much for being quiet – as hot come floods Jensen’s mouth. The older man groans at the sensation, swallowing his own moans along with Colin’s load.  
  
His boy is a shaking mess when Jensen stands and kisses him deep and dirty. He carefully pulls Colin’s sweatpants up and pulls away to catch his breath. He almost jumps out of his skin when Carol’s voice reaches them.  
  
“Colin? Is everything alright? I heard you shout out.”  
  
Jensen can’t speak. He’s frozen to the spot and his nerves are shot. Colin isn’t fairing much better, but manages to control his breathing enough to shout a reply, “Yeah mom, I stubbed my toe is all.”  
  
“Oh honey, you’re a walking disaster!” she shouts back. There’s nothing more, just the start of bottles clacking together as she returns to her tasks.  
  
“Holy fuck!” Colin says, drawing Jensen back to his body.  
  
Jensen can only nod his agreement, kissing Colin again, “I have to go,” he says, reluctantly.  
  
“But you haven’t,” Colin gestures to the bulge in Jensen’s pants, “let me take care of you.”  
  
They’ve taken too many risks already, so Jensen shakes his head, “Baby we can’t. Trust me when I say I _really_ want to, but…soon, OK?” Colin makes a frustrated noise, and runs a finger up Jensen’s cock, “stop, stop, stop. We’ll pick up where we left off,” Reluctantly Jensen pulls his shirt out of his pants and covers the tent as much as he can. He takes Colin’s sweaty hand in his, and kisses his palm, “soon, I promise.”  
  
Colin almost growls, but eventually steps away from Jensen’s body, “Really soon?”  
  
“Really _very soon_ ,” Jensen promises, before he heads for his truck.


	18. Chapter 18

_Colin: Is it 2 soon 2 text? :P_

_Dude, it’s been like 2 hours!_

_Colin: Was I supposed to wait 3? ;)_

Back at his desk Jensen can feel himself grinning, his mood lifted despite still feeling horny and unsatisfied, especially when he can still taste Colin’s come in the back of his throat. If he avoided drinking so he didn’t lose the taste, that’s his business, right? He quickly glances around the office to see everyone else busy working – like he should be – but he taps out a quick reply, anyway.

_I believe the correct protocol is to wait at least 4 hours, you don’t want to appear too keen! ;)_

_Colin: *pouts* but it only took an hour to eat and shower, I held out aaaaaall that extra time. I should get a reward for that shit! :P_

Jensen’s hormone flooded brain immediately supplies him with the very vivid image of Colin in the shower…his long, lithe body all wet, soapy and pink, his cock hard and just begging for Jensen to touch it. He tries to hold back moan as his own cock twitches in his pants, but from the look on Chris’ face, he guesses he wasn’t entirely successful.

“Come on, man,” Chris groans, “we’ve got this presentation to finish. You can sext Colin outside office hours!”

Jensen feels the heat of embarrassment creep up his neck, “It’s not like that,” he denies, but the smirk on Chris’ faces tells him he’s busted.

“This will be the last one,” he replies, not looking his friend in the eye.

_Yeah, yeah, I’ll get you some kind of medal! Gotta work, stop distracting me! Will bring dinner for you & your mom later. Get some rest & no more talk of showers until I can be in there with you! ;) _

  
§

“Robbie, I’m heading upstairs for a while before the dinner crowd comes in, are you sure you’re OK on your own down here?”

The young bartender looks up from emptying the dishwasher, “No problem, it’s not all that busy. Are you feeling alright? I don’t wanna overstep but you look kinda beat!”

Carol sighs, figuring she must look rough for Robbie to mention it. Between the hangover and stress of the meeting with the bank yesterday, she’d done nothing more than shower, dress and pull her hair into a ponytail this morning. She’s never what you’d call a glamour queen but usually puts on a little make up and semi-styles her shoulder length hair. Maybe she should’ve made more effort, especially today.

“Way to make a girl feel special, I know I ain’t twenty one anymore…” she says, hoping it sounds lighthearted.

Robbie frowns and takes a few steps closer to her, “I didn’t mean anything by it, I was asking out of concern. And as for not being twenty one, well…” he waves a hand up and down her body, “you look great…you _always_ look great ‘cause you know…you have that whole MILF thing going on, and…” his eyes go wide and he blushes, “oh shit!” he fiddles with the dish towel on his shoulder, “I didn’t mean…ummm…fuck!”

It takes Carol a few seconds to process what she’s heard, mostly because of her headache but also the speed at which her new recruit has started babbling, “Uh…thanks? I think!”

Robbie stares at her for a moment then snaps out of deer-in-the-headlights mode, “What I meant to say was, _yes_ I’ll be fine down here, go do what you need to do.”

Despite feeling exhausted and her head thumping along with the heartbeat, she can see the funny side and feels an amused smile creep onto her face, “shout me if you need anything.”

Getting up the stairs turns out to be harder work than anticipated, her whole body is aching, not just her head. Colin’s not in the living room or kitchen, but his bedroom door is open. She peeks in to find he’s awake, propped up on pillows, earbuds in and she can hear the beat of the music even from the doorway.

“Hey mom,” he shouts over the music, making her wince, “oh sorry,” he says more quietly, pulling the buds out and shutting off the music.

“How are you feeling, honey?”

Colin smiles, “Better, you?”

“I’m glad, I was worried about you. I’m tired so I’m going for a nap, see ya later!”

  
§

Noise slowly wakes her but she can’t quite come round enough to process what it is at first. She blinks a few times for her eyes to adjust to the twilight, meaning she’s slept longer than she meant to. She takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly, her headache has gone but she’s thirsty and it feels like something large and hairy shat in her mouth while she was asleep.

As soon as she opens her bedroom door she hears the source of the noise – voices, and Colin’s laughter. _He must have a friend over_ , she thinks. That’s when she really listens, not to eavesdrop but because Colin is yelping and laughing. She can’t remember the last time she heard him laugh like that, carefree and happy. The grin pulls at her cheeks as she steps into the kitchen, wondering which one his school friends he invited over. She stops in her tracks when she sees it’s Jensen.

The two of them have their back to her and are washing the dishes, side by side, their hips not quite touching but if one of them were to move half an inch, they would be. Jensen has the dish towel slung casually one shoulder and Colin is half resting his head on the other while he washes a plate. As he passes it into Jensen’s waiting hand, he lifts his head and places a soft kiss on Jensen’s cheek.

“Sap,” Jensen says, his tone warm and amused.

“You love it,” Colin laughs, watching as Jensen places the plate in the drainer then turns to look at him. Jensen turns his body inwards, Colin doing the same and Carol freezes as she watches Jensen stroke Colin’s cheek and kiss him firmly but without heat on the lips.

“I do,” he replies, almost in a whisper, then laughs at the grin on Colin’s face.

Carol is suddenly hit with conflicting emotions. The overprotective mama bear in her wants to rip Jensen away from her boy, the anger she felt when she learned of their relationship still simmering under her skin; but at the same time there’s a lump in her throat. Their interaction is so intimate and so clearly _loving_ , it feels like she’s intruding on a private moment.

Her stomach makes a loud gurgling noise, startling the others to her presence, “Shit, mom, you scared me!” Colin half gasps and half laughs.

§

Jensen’s heart is racing. He’s been so caught up in the moment that he hadn’t heard Carol come in, “Carol, h-hi,” he stutters then motions towards the kitchen table, “I brought Chinese,” she stares at him and he can’t decide if she’s annoyed at him being there twice in one day or not, “Colin said earlier you weren’t feeling your best so I thought I’d save either of you cooking.”

She frowns slightly, then visibly relaxes, offering him half a smile. They all laugh when her stomach rumbles again.

§

Colin isn’t sure how his mom’s going to react to Jensen being there again so he feels nervous. He dries his hands and picks a clean plate out of the rack, “Jensen didn’t know what you liked so he bought,” the teen looks at the volume of boxes scattered across the table, “everything, by the looks of it!” Carol looks at Colin, then the food, then at Jensen. She looks like she wants to say something and he’s terrified she’s going to kick Jensen out.

Colin busies himself opening the boxes, tipping rice and noodles onto a place and offering it to his mom, Carol raises her hand to take it after what seems like forever, “Thanks,” she looks at Jensen again and more sincere this time, “thank you, Jensen, that’s very thoughtful of you.”

Colin grins and looks to Jensen, who’s gone slightly pink. He can’t help it and pokes his boyfriend in the arm, “Are you…are you _blushing_?”

Jensen goes even redder, glaring at him before throwing Carol an apologetic look, “I hate you,” he stage whispers to Colin.

“You love me,” Colin singsongs back, sliding his hands around Jensen’s waist and brushing his nose against the older man’s stubbly cheek, forgetting for a moment that his mom’s there until Jensen gasps and grabs his wrist.

Colin could swear his heart misses a few beats as he spins around to look at his mom. She’s paused with a box in her hand. She gives them both a look like she’s trying to figure out a really tough equation, then looks away and tips some pork onto her plate. Colin wants to say something - fuck knows what, just _something_ \- but no words come to him.

“Yeah,” Carol says after a while, lifting her eyes to look straight at Jensen, “so it seems.”

§

“I should go,” Jensen says after drinking only half of his mug of coffee, “you have school tomorrow,” he looks at Carol and raises an eyebrow, “right?”

Carol nods, swallowing her last mouthful of food, “Right.”

“Aww man,” Colin whines, looking between them, “this is so not fair, you’re ganging up on me!”

They both laugh, Carol less so when Jensen gives Colin an amused look, then leans closer to him and plants a kiss on his forehead, “You lose!”

Once again Carol has that conflict twisting in her gut, “That’s enough,” she says more sharply than she meant to. Jensen moves away from Colin, but Colin’s hand snaps out and grips his bicep. She knows her son and he’s clearly about to go into one of his rants, given the chance, so she holds a hand up to stop him before he starts, “it’s getting late, you should get ready for bed, that’s all”

Jensen covers Colin’s hand with his and offers a reluctant smile, “You should, I’ll talk to you tomorrow, OK?

“I need to go and freshen up before I go downstairs,” Carol says, her voice thankfully sounds steadier than it feels, “I’ll give you two time to say goodnight then I’ll walk you down to the bar, Jensen.”

In the bathroom she lets out a deep breath, trying to shake the uneasiness that still hangs around. She washes her face, brushes her teeth, applies a little make up and brushes her hair. It must’ve been ten minutes by now so she heads back out, “please don’t let them be making out” she whispers to herself.

There’s no sign of Colin when she cautiously opens the kitchen door, “He’s gone to change,” Jensen says, looking nervous, “look, I hope I didn’t overstep by coming over tonight. I didn’t want to intrude, I was just going to drop dinner off but he can be…” he paused, trying to find the word he was looking for, “persuasive.”

“Oh Jesus Christ, Jensen, I don’t need to hear that,” she groans.

He stares at her, his mouth hanging open for a moment, “Shit, no I didn’t mean like _that_! Fuck, no, it’s those _eyes_ , he’s knows how to work the sad puppy look!”

The laugh that works out of her throat sounds more like a bark, but soon turns into proper laughter, surprising both her and Jensen, “Don’t I know it, he perfected that when he was just a baby!”

The fond smile on Jensen’s face brings a realisation, and a lump of emotion to her throat. Her chest hurts from the heaviness in her heart, and her stomach is flip flopping. She swallows the lump down and looks at the man in front of her who has so evidently stolen her son’s heart, “You really are in love with him, aren’t you?”

Without any hesitation, he nods, looking her straight in the eye, “Yes I am. I know it’s messed up, _trust me_ , I know,” he sighs,” but I really do love him, Carol. I don’t expect you to be happy about it, but we _do_ love each other, and I’m going to do everything in my power to make sure he…that neither of you, have nothing to worry about.”

He’s breathing hard, having put such emotion into his words, and Carol realises that her breaths match his. They stand looking at each other. She can’t think of anything to say, so she nods, and Jensen seems to understand.

§

Jensen sits in his truck for a few minutes, thinking. Tonight had gone surprisingly well, considering he’d turned up uninvited, twice. In the back of his mind he kept expecting Carol to ask him to leave, but he’s very grateful she didn’t. It was almost comfortable…maybe it was because she’d been caught off guard, or maybe it’s because she just has bigger things on her mind right now. When Colin told him the situation with their finances, he’d been outwardly calm, but the way he was leaning into Jensen and squeezing his hand said otherwise, as did the way his boy held on extra tight when pulled into a comforting hug.

Jensen’s sure Carol wouldn’t be happy about Colin discussing it with him, despite the fact that she _seems_ to be coming around to the idea that he and Colin are a couple. He blows out a steady breath, he’s done thinking…he’s made up his mind how he’ll help. He types out a reply to Jared’s earlier text.

_Jeff has 24 hours to pay the full asking price for the apartment or we find someone else who will._

The reply is almost instantaneous.

_Jared: I’ll speak to him. What do we do if he says no?_

_Make sure he doesn’t_

§

_Two weeks later_

Chris yawns and scratches his scalp as he pours a large mug of coffee. He hears the front door shut and automatically pulls another mug down from the cupboard and pours one for Jensen, too, “Hey,” he pushes the steaming drink down the counter towards his friend as he comes into the kitchen, “you were up and out early. What happened to ‘Saturdays are sleep in days’?”

Jensen takes his usual giant gulp of coffee, humming his appreciation as he does, “I wanted to get to the bank early.”

“Did the sale all go through?”

“Yep, full asking price. I knew if I pushed, the fucker would have no choice. His pride was at stake.”

Chris smirks at his friend’s satisfied grin, “Good for you. So how do you plan on spending your piles of money?”

Jensen looks into his mug for a long time before answering, “I’m going to make an investment.”

§

Carol is signing for today’s delivery when she sees Jensen’s truck pull up, “Hey,” she says after handing back the clipboard to the driver, “Colin’s still in bed.”

“That’s OK, I…actually, it’s you I need to talk to.”

“Oh?” she says, motioning him inside the bar. He looks nervous…actually, more like terrified, and her stomach drops, “Jensen, what’s going on?”

§

Colin shuffles into the kitchen, rubbing his eyes and heading straight for the coffee pot. He pours himself the largest mug he can find and sits down at the table sipping it, trying to wake up. Halfway through he realises that the apartment is unusually quiet, “Mom?” he calls, his voice scratchy from sleep, “are you here?”

When he gets no reply he turns on his phone, figuring she’s downstairs and he doesn’t have the energy to go down there yet. He pours himself more coffee, then checks his notifications. He can’t help the smile on his face when a text pops up from Jensen, it gives him a warm, fuzzy feeling that he’d never admit out loud.

_Jensen: I’m coming over this morning. Hoping to have some good news! :)_

His smile breaks into a full blown grin and he sends his reply.

_Can’t wait :D_

He’s suddenly much more awake, the promise of seeing his boyfriend a much better stimulant than the caffeine. He gulps down the rest of his coffee, anyway, then heads for the shower. He washes quickly, taking care to avoid too much contact with his dick, he doesn’t need to jerk off and fantasise about Jensen when he’s going to see him soon. He dresses at top speed and heads off to find his mom.

He’s half way down the stairs when he hears her raised voice. He can’t tell what she’s saying until he’s almost at the bottom of the stairs.

“He had no right to tell you that, it’s none of your fucking business!”

She sounds _pissed_ and he pauses by the doorway, hidden from sight, wanting to know what he’s walking in to.

“You’re insane if you think I’m going to accept, the bar isn’t for sale and _neither is Colin_!”

On hearing his name he takes a few steps into bar, then stops when he sees Jensen standing there opposite Carol. Neither of them notice him. His heart is thumping as he edges closer.

“I beg your pardon?” Jensen looks genuinely offended.

Carol’s face is turning red and she’s stepping up close to Jensen, “I can’t believe you think you can just waltz in here and throw money around just so you can fuck my son!”

“That’s got nothing to do with it!” Jensen says, forcefully.

“Oh _really_ ,” she spits, “so what _do_ you want out of it then, huh?”

“I want do to right by Colin, I’m trying to _help_!”

Before Carol can say anything else, Colin finds himself at Jensen’s side without noticing he’s moved, “What the hell’s going on here? Why are you both yelling?”

They both jump, neither having realised he was there. They both start speaking at once, “Wait,” Colin says, waving his hands, “one at a time. Mom?”

Carol breathes in sharply through her nose and Colin can tell she’s trying to remain calm. He looks at Jensen whose expression is utterly defeated.

“It wasn’t your place to tell anyone about our money problems.”

Colin’s stomach flip flops, he opens his mouth but Jensen speaks before he gets chance.

“Carol, he was _worried_. He needed someone to talk to, and I’m here for him,” Jensen looks at Colin and the teen feels the heat of the older man’s hand as he threads their fingers together, “I’m just trying to look out for him…for both of you.”

Colin tightens his grip on Jensen’s hand at that. He still has no idea why they’re arguing, though.

“It’s not your place!” Carol snaps.

Colin reaches his other hand out and puts in on his mom’s shoulder, “Will someone please explain what’s going on here?”

“I think we should sit down,” Jensen says, sounding much calmer than he was moments ago, but Colin can feel the man’s hand shaking, “please Carol, let’s talk about this.”

Colin sits down in the booth, pulling Jensen in with him. Carol reluctantly sits opposite them, clenching her jaw and throwing daggers at Jensen. He’s obviously not going to get anything rational out of his mom so he turns to Jensen, “Well?”

Jensen licks his lips and swallows, pulling his hand from Colin and placing it on his own thigh, instead, “We got the full asking price for the apartment, so I thought…after you told me about the situation with the bank,” he tips his chin towards Carol, but doesn’t take his eyes off Colin’s, “I came here to offer your mom an investment.”

Carol snorts, “Yeah, and we know what you want to buy!”

Colin swallows, his mouth is very dry all of a sudden, “Mom, please,” he holds her gaze until she closes her mouth, “go on,” he says to Jensen.

Jensen takes Colin’s hand again, pulling it onto the table and threading their fingers back together, and Colin slides his other hand over Jensen’s thigh. The muscles are solid, just as tense as his back and shoulders, look. Carol grinds her teeth, but says nothing.

“Your mom thinks I have an ulterior motive here, but I really don’t. I want to help, and I’m in a financial position to as of yesterday. What your mom didn’t let me say,” he looks at Carol now, and Colin holds his breath, “is that I don’t want anything in return. I don’t want any share of the profits, it doesn’t interest me,” he looks back at Colin now, one of those looks that feels like he’s looking right into Colin’s soul, “I want it to go straight into trust for you…or even a college fund. Either way, somewhere I can’t touch it, I don’t want a penny. All I want is peace of mind, to know that you’re being taken care of…both of you,” he turns back to Carol again, “he worries so much, Carol. He shouldn’t have to, not when I…when _we_ can do something about it. That’s what people do for the ones they love.”

Colin’s breath catches and his heart feels like it’s trying to beat through his rib cage. He turns his entire body to Jensen, “You…you’d really do that for us…for me?” he can feel a lump rising in his throat and his eyes are starting to burn as he tries to hold back tears.

Jensen brow creases, looking like it physically hurts him to be asked that, and Colin immediately feels guilty. He lowers his eyes, but the older man cups his chin and it’s like a command, Colin snaps his eyes up, “You really have to ask?” he says with a soft smile, “I’ll do anything to make you happy.”

§

Carol is completely taken aback by what Jensen’s saying. He hadn’t mentioned anything about a not wanting any profits…then again, she didn’t give him much chance to get that far. She supposes she should feel a little guilty, but that mama bear voice is screaming at her again, _protect your baby_. Why else would someone offer to spend a substantial amount of money if they didn’t want something in return?

Part of her can’t help but think, _low blow_ when Jensen says Colin shouldn’t have to worry, but then as much as it hurts to admit, he’s right. She does feel guilty, then, as she realises she had no idea how much of an effect this was having on her baby.

As she’s watching the interaction Colin and Jensen, she has that feeling again like she’s intruding on something intimate between them. When Jensen brushes away Colin’s tears with his thumb, it’s like there’s no-one else in the world...they’re completely caught up in one another.

“I need a drink,” she says, more to herself than anyone else. She pours herself a shot of tequila, not giving a shit that it’s not even close to lunchtime yet. She downs it, and then another, enjoying the burn as well as the flavour. She closes her eyes and breathes, trying to calm all the multitude of things she’s feeling at the moment.

Once she feels like her voice might be steady, she turns around to find Colin and Jensen watching her, both of them obviously waiting for her to speak. She looks at them, _really looks_ and sees they both seem to be silently pleading with her. They’re still holding hands, knuckles white from gripping so tight. It’s Colin’s tear streaked face that breaks her.

“Put all of that in writing and we have a deal.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're coming to the end of the fic. I think another 2 chapters and we'lll be done. It's been a hell of a ride!
> 
> P.S. I know I said the sex would come sooner but the muse had other ideas. The next chapter has it all going on! ;)


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here you go, this is part of what you've been waiting for, 99% porn! xD
> 
> The description of Colin's clothes in based on [this](http://66.media.tumblr.com/451241f1443fe2b53987afb86a67ea1f/tumblr_nxdu8fiGiA1uim0zko1_1280.jpg) pic...be sure to enlarge it! *drools*

_Three months later_

“Ellen,” Carol yells for what sounds like the hundredth time in the last hour - to Colin at least - “did I tell you…” the look she was being given stopped her mid-sentence, “I’m being neurotic, aren’t I?”

“Yes,” her friend and colleague replies before Colin has chance to, “I can take care of the place, _just go_ , it’s the first break you’ve had in the last five years, make the most of it!”

“It’s not been _that_ long,” she protested.

“Wanna bet? I’ve worked for you since you opened this place, right after that dipshit of a husband walked out on you both and you’ve not had a break since. It’s been five years and this is a _weekend_ , the place isn’t going to go down the toilet in that space of time. Go, have fun, enjoy the spa. I’d have killed for a gift like that when I turned forty!”

“But…”

Colin wraps his arms around his mom from behind, and kisses her cheek, “But nothing, mom. It’s your birthday, Jensen and I didn’t buy you a luxury weekend for you to worry about what’s going on here,” he feels her tense in his arms. He anticipates what she’s about to say and cuts her off, “I _know_ it’s my birthday tomorrow, but you’ve been here for last fifteen of them, I want you to go and enjoy yourself. We can celebrate together when you get back.”

Carol turns and pulls away from him, cupping his cheek with her hand, “I can’t believe my baby is sixteen, tomorrow,” there are tears in her eyes, “where did the time go?”

Colin covers her hand with his, squeezing it gently and smirks, “I can’t believe my mom’s forty, it’s so _old_!” He moves back just in time to miss the slap aimed at his shoulder.

He hears Jensen’s laughter behind him, “I’d watch what you say if I were you, kiddo, us _old_ folk can still hear you!”

“Come on, I’ll walk you out,” Colin says. He hugs her tight and waves her off with a smile. He wants her to have a good time, she deserves it…he also can’t deny that he’s been desperate for time completely alone with Jensen. He heads back into the bar feeling lighter than he has in months.

“No, on the next one up,” Ellen’s says, pointing to a high shelf that Jensen’s helping get glasses down from. There are plenty of the same ones on the lower shelf, and as Jensen reaches higher, Colin sees Ellen’s face. She’s biting her lip and raking her eyes over Jensen’s ass and the strip of skin exposed where his t-shirt is riding up.

A surge of jealous runs through him. His heart thumps and he wants nothing more than to go over there and kiss Jensen breathless, showing Ellen how _not available_ he is. He tries to control his breathing but it’s like a weight is on his chest, and he feels like he’s drowning.

“Jensen, I need your help with something, please,” he can see the confusion on Jensen’s face at his urgent tone, but takes no notice, waiting until his boyfriend is down from the ladder and a few steps away from him, “it’s back here,” he says, before heading to the back room. Once they’re out of Ellen’s line of sight, Colin pulls Jensen in to his body and kisses him roughly. He can feel the older man’s surprise before he relaxes under Colin’s hands and opens his mouth to accept Colin’s probing tongue. He kisses, sucks and bites at Jensen’s mouth until he can’t breathe and has to pulls away with a groan.

“What was that for?” Jensen asks with an amused look on his face.

Colin stands there feeling foolish, then. He’s embarrassed at his behaviour, he knows that plenty of people look at Jensen the way Ellen does, Jensen’s _gorgeous_ , plain and simple. He looks at the older man, pleading with his eyes and hoping that he won’t have to say it out loud.

He sees the moment when Jensen figures it out. His boyfriend walks slowly towards him and the teen feels like he’s the prey and Jensen’s some kind of dangerous predator. He’s not afraid, though, far from it. He watches the way Jensen moves, all slow and confident, jeans pulling over his strong thighs, t-shirt clinging to his chest, beautifully. Colin feels the cold edge of one of the pool tables digging into his lower back and the heat of Jensen’s body along his front as he’s pinned between the two, “Aww,” Jensen teases, stroking Colin’s cheek, “is my baby boy jealous?”

Colin’s breath catches and his cock twitches against Jensen’s thigh. Heat surges through his body, taking him by surprise. It takes him a minute to figure out the reason, “Say that again,” he croaks, shocked at how rough his voice is.

Jensen gets a twinkle in his eye that Colin knows will mean trouble later down the road, but he doesn’t give a shit right now, “Say what again?” the words roll off Jensen’s tongue like syrup, “baby boy? You like that, huh?

Colin feels dizzy with arousal, his dick growing harder by the second. He tilts his hips so Jensen can feel it, “Jesus,” he manages to pant before Jensen leans in to lick his neck, the heat of his tongue making Colin’s pulse quicken even more. He lets out a frustrated noise when Jensen pulls away.

“Well that’s interesting,” Jensen says with a smirk, knowing he’s discovered a kink, “you know,” he waves his hand, indicating the tables at the very back of the room, “this is where it all began…as soon we’re alone _I’m_ gonna blow _you_ at that same table,” he whispers, “but you’ll have to wait, I have errands to run. See you tomorrow at seven thirty.”

“Bastard!” Colin calls out after him as Jensen walks off leaving him hard and wanting.

§

Jensen sits outside the steak house he’s meeting Colin at and checks his watch yet again. _7.26pm_ the display reads, and no sign of him. It’s their first proper date out in public - albeit the next town over - and the kid’s going to be late, for fuck’s sake! He pulls his phone out of his pocket to send a text, but the display lights up before he gets chance.

_Colin: Be there in 2 mins._

Jensen sighs with relief. He feels stupidly nervous and is annoyed with himself for it. This was his idea…dinner and a movie, it’s a normal date, right? Only it’s not what you could call normal. When most people turn sixteen they have a party with friends, they don’t go on a date with someone twice their age…but then Colin isn’t most people.

Before the nerves can get to him anymore, Jensen gets out of the truck, locks it then straightens out his rumpled shirt. As he turns around towards the restaurant, Colin is walking towards him, and Jensen’s mouth goes dry. He looks absolutely _stunning_.

He’s wearing the jeans he knows Jensen likes best – low slung on his hips but snug around his ass and crotch – a light grey sweater, a fitted black leather jacket, and big black leather boots, neither of which Jensen’s never seen before. His hair is longer now than it was six or so months ago when they first hooked up, and it’s all swept back off his forehead in a way that’s begging to have Jensen’s hands run through it and mess it up.

Colin has a smirk on his face as he gets closer, “Hey! Something wrong?

Jensen takes a minute to pull himself together, but his voice is still shaky when he speaks, “Holy shit, you look…” he’s momentarily lost for words, the blood his brain needs for coherent speech is too busy rushing to his cock, “ _fuck_ …”

Colin winks, “Oh good, fuckable is the look I was going for. I’m starving, shall we go in?”

Jensen blinks, his breath coming in short pants now. _Jesus, Jen, pull yourself together_ , he clears his throat to agree, but all that comes out is a kind of pathetic whimper.

§

Colin is freaking out. Somehow he’s managed to seem casual and confident, but really he’s shaking like a leaf. Tonight’s the night he and Jensen will finally have sex. Handjobs have become a staple for them, they’ve blown each other countless times now and Colin’s loved every second of everything they’ve done to this point. He’s even gotten used to the feel of his own fingers in his ass in preparation for it, but tonight will be totally different. Jensen’s _dick_ is going in his ass. Tonight, on his sixteenth birthday, he’s going to get what he’s wanted for almost two years.

Jensen doesn’t seem to have regained the ability to speak yet, so Colin asks for their table, and thanks the waitress once they’re seated with their menus. He’s starting to worry there’s something wrong with Jensen so he kicks the older man’s foot under the table, “Hey Jen, you with me?”

He watches the older man swallow hard then lick his lips, “Uh, yeah, sure.”

“So what can I get you guys, tonight?” the waitress asks in a cheery voice, while she pours them both a glass of ice water.

Colin looks to Jensen, who is still staring at him over the glass he’s taking long gulps from. It doesn’t seem like he’s going to say anything soon, so Colin places his own order, “Rib eye, medium, with the works, please.”

The waitress jots it down on her pad and looks to Jensen, who’s still staring and drinking. She shrugs and turns back to Colin, “Your dad seems to have lost his voice, honey, what’ll he have?”

Jensen starts choking on his drink and slams the glass down on the table. Colin tries to catch it before it tips over, but doesn’t make it in time and the remaining contents pour onto the table and over Jensen’s lap, “Shit,” he rasps as he’s blotting his jeans with his napkin, “his dad, really?”

Colin feels a laugh bubbling up from his chest but manages to keep it down, this is too good to pass up. This will be payback for Jensen turning him on and walking away, yesterday. He leans over the table and lowers his voice, “Yeah, _daddy_ , what do you want?”

He does laugh then as Jensen stares at him open mouthed before blushing more red than Colin’s ever seen, even more so when he almost falls over his own feet while excusing himself to run to the bathroom, “Bring him the same, please.”

§

“You. Little. _Shit_.” Jensen growls as he slams Colin up against the door of his apartment the second it closes behind them, each word emphasised by grinding his hips against the teen, “Do you have any idea how close you came to being fucked over that table?” Colin _whimpers_ in response and it sends Jensen’s already racing pulse even higher, “Seriously,” he’s panting with arousal and sheer need, “the clothes, the hair…then you had to go and suck your fucking fingers like that,” he presses in closer, picturing the long digits being sucked into that sinful mouth. He dives into it then, hard kisses, thrusting his tongue into Colin’s mouth, licking up every taste of the kid that he can. Eventually, when he needs air, Jensen pulls back, sucking Colin’s bottom lip into his mouth and biting it gently, before releasing it with a pop, “that mouth should be fuckin’ illegal.”

Colin’s hands are pushing at Jensen’s jacket, trying to get it off him, but they’re too close together for it to work. The teen’s hands are red hot when they push against his chest to put some space between them. Reluctantly, Jensen steps back and tries to get himself under control.

“Think we’d have been thrown out,” Colin pants, pushing Jensen backwards towards the couch, and shrugging out of his jacket at the same time.

“Shut the fuck up, smartass” Jensen growls as he lands on the cushion and looks up at Colin, “and get over here,” he tugs his own jacket off and lets it fall on the floor, before grabbing Colin’s hand and pulling him until he’s forced to bracket Jensen’s body with his own. Jensen leans up and attacks his lips again, this time both of his hands threading through Colin’s hair, like he’s wanted to all night. It’s soft despite being styled, and that’s somehow turning Jensen on, too. Heat pours off the teen, even his head, and when he scrapes his nails over Colin’s scalp and down to the nape of his neck, the teen moans and kisses with more force.

Jensen keeps Colin’s head in place with the hand at his neck, then slides the other down his torso, fingers fumbling but soon finding their way under the sweater. He smooths his hand over Colin’s belly and developing abs, before rubbing over a nipple with his thumb. He knows how sensitive the teen’s nipples are and he purposefully scrapes a nail over them both, before taking one hardening nub between finger and thumb, and plucking it with enough force to be just this side of painful.

Colin mewls into the kiss, almost biting Jensen’s tongue, his hips jerking forward at the same time. Jensen’s own hips raise off the couch in response, but stop short of actually touching because of their position. They need to be closer. With great effort Jensen releases Colin, and starts to sit up, “Bedroom,” he pants.

Colin wastes no time scrambling up, almost falling on his ass in his eagerness. Ordinarily Jensen would laugh, but he’s too turned on and desperate to get them both naked. He’s been hard for what seems like forever and he needs release. He pushes up off the couch, grabbing Colin’s hand and tugging him towards the bedroom.

“Strip,” he tells Colin, his tone demanding, as he starts ripping his own clothes off. Colin’s going as fast as he can, and Jensen can’t have that. He grabs the kid’s slender wrist, feeling the pulse racing under his fingers, “slowly…I want to watch you.”

Colin blushes, but obeys. Jensen’s cock throbs with every rapid heartbeat, his chest is tight and he feels like he’s burning up as he watches each item of clothing peeled off Colin’s body. Every time more skin is revealed, Jensen’s mouth waters, until he can’t take any more. He strides over to his boy, and gently guides him onto the bed, “Lie back and relax.”

Colin immediately tenses, but nods. Jensen watches as he scrambles up the bed to rest his head on the pillow, saying nothing but looking straight at him as if waiting for the next instruction, and that itself is hot as hell…Jensen’s going to file that one away for later use.

He looks down at Colin from the bottom of the bed, and feels like he could come from the view alone. It’s one of the sexiest things he’s ever seen in his life. The teen’s cheeks, neck and upper chest are flushed. He’s panting like he’s just run miles and there’s a thin sheen of sweat over his entire body. His nipples are hard and pink, begging to be sucked and bitten. His stomach and abs tense and release as he breathes, and his long, thick cock is an angry red and steadily leaking pre-come. Jensen feels his mouth watering, the need to lick it up is burning under his skin. On top of all of that, Colin’s long, long, limbs are stretched out, just waiting to wrap around Jensen’s body, “So beautiful,” he says, voice raw with arousal.

He can’t wait any longer, he has to touch. He manages to refrain from throwing himself on top of Colin and rutting against him like a dog in heat, taking him hard and fast the way his body is craving. Instead he takes a few calming breaths, knowing that he can’t do that…not until Colin’s used to this, at least. He can feel the kid trembling when he slides a hand up Colin’s calf and hooks it under his knee, urging him to open his legs to make room for Jensen to fit, “Shhh, it’s OK, just relax, we don’t have to do anything you don’t want to,” he slowly kisses the insides of Colin’s thighs, allowing himself the odd nip, just to hear the teen’s gasps. When he reaches Colin’s balls, he sucks each one into his mouth before licking a stripe up his cock, then very gently suckling the head until he gets the whimper he’s been waiting for. Colin’s flavour is still on his tongue as he moves over to teenage hips, his fingers on hot, clammy skin as he strokes up and down the youthful body.

“Bastard,” Colin hisses when Jensen moves away from his cock, and the older man chuckles against his skin. The vibration of it makes his lips tingle, sending shivers down his own spine, and his own cock twitches in response.

“Patience,” he says, biting Colin’s round belly and reaching up in search of a nipple, rolling it between finger and thumb once more. Watching Colin squirm in pleasure makes Jensen break out in a sweat, too. His skin feels itchy but in a good way. He’s buzzing with anticipation as he licks up Colin’s chest, sucking the other nipple into his mouth, flicking his tongue back and forth, and then sucking hard. The sound of Colin moaning and panting spurs him on, increasing his desire even more. He’s not sure how much longer he can wait to be inside this beautiful creature.

“Jen, please,” Colin pants, his sweaty hands slip-sliding over Jensen’s back, “please…” Jensen latches his mouth onto Colin’s long neck and sucks, licks and kisses his way up, doing the same over his chin until he reaches that sinful mouth and dives in again. Kissing Colin is heavenly on any given day, but the desperate noises accompanying the kisses when he want to come are driving Jensen more insane than usual. He knows Colin is close, he can tell from the way he’s shaking from trying to hold back, so he reaches down and wraps his fingers around the teen’s scorching hot cock. Sweat and pre-come make it easy for him to pump, slowly at first, then quicker as he drives Colin closer and closer to the edge, “Ungh,” Colin cries, arching off the bed, one hand grabbing a handful of sheet so tightly that Jensen thinks he hears the fabric start to tear, “stop, Jensen, please, I’m gonna come if you don’t….hngh,” he gasps.

“So come, baby boy, we have all night,” he coos, tightening his grip ever so slightly on Colin’s cock. The teen is sobbing now, trying to hold back, and Jensen’s so turned on his dick hurts. He’s almost ready to come himself, not sure if he can last long enough to prepare Colin and get to the actual fucking part, “please, I want you to come, it’ll relax you,” the teen whimpers some more, in between his harsh panting, thrashing his head from side to side on the pillow. Jensen stills his hand, “look at me.” Colin does, and Jensen feels dizzy with pleasure at the look on the kid’s face.

His once perfect hair is now messy and plastered to his sweaty forehead. His eyes are blown wide with lust, his lips red and swollen from where he’s been biting them…he looks completely debauched, and Jensen rushes to grip the base of his cock to stop himself spilling right over the teen’s hip. His breaths are becoming more and more difficult the more turned on he gets.

Neither of them are going to last, there’s no doubt about that. Jensen shifts so that he can move further down Colin’s body, parting his legs a little further. He holds two fingers to Colin’s lips in silent instruction. The hot, wet cavern of Colin’s mouth feels amazing around his fingers and his dick throbs even more, wanting to get in on that, _later_ , he tells it, forcing himself to pull his fingers out. He reaches down and presses the saliva soaked digits to Colin’s hole. It twitches and the teen’s body goes tense, “Shh, just this,” he says again, using gentle pressure to slip the tip of one finger just inside Colin’s body, slowly stroking both inside and out.

His other hand slips back around the teen’s cock, pumping steadily and he latches his mouth back on to a nipple. He sucks in time with the teasing probes of his fingers, speeding up all his ministrations as Colin’s chest heaves underneath him, his breaths laboured, moans and guttural noises spilling from his mouth until finally his back arches and he screams out, coming hard over himself and Jensen’s hand.

That’s the final straw, Jensen’s wound too tight, his cock is hard as concrete and he’s lightheaded from arousal. He scrambles up, his sweaty thighs slipping against Colin’s hips as he straddles them. Colin, ever responsive to Jensen’s needs, reaches up and gently grips the older man’s cock. It’s Jensen’s turn to whimper now, from the overload of sensations, from sheer relief and the pleasure of Colin touching him.

He covers the teen’s massive hand with his own and strips his cock, furiously. It feels like his blood is boiling and spreading through his veins like wildfire. He hears a growl which from the stab of pain in his throat must’ve been his own…he’s so close. He squeezes his thighs together and grabs Colin’s shoulder with his free hand, jerking the kid towards him, “Oh God…Colin… fuck….,” he pants, working his arm faster and faster until he comes so hard he thinks he’s going to pass out. He collapses on the bed next to Colin, grabbing his hand and pressing it to his pounding chest.

They lie there until they both have their breath back, Colin lying across Jensen’s chest, purring as his back is stroked. Jensen feels himself drifting off to sleep, until Colin pokes him in the ribs, “Ow, what was that for?” he yelps, and pokes Colin back.

The teen leans over him and kisses his chin, then his lips. Soft but firm kisses with a hint of tongue along Jensen’s lower lip, stirring his cock slowly back to life, “Don’t you fall asleep on me, I’m not done with you yet, old man!”


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Evidently I'm *still* on a roll, AKA my brain won't shut off! Here's the rest of the sex...oh, and a nice little plot twist for ya! xD If *anyone* saw that coming, I demand to know how! =P

The soft, comforting and rhythmic stroking of Jensen’s fingers on his back is drawing Colin closer and closer to sleep. He’s still blissed out from some of most intense sex they’ve had, as well as being comfortable and warm against his boyfriend, but like he said, he’s not done with Jensen yet.

He can tell from the way Jensen’s chest rises and falls more slowly under his head, that the older man has fallen asleep. Colin smirks to himself, he’ll tease Jensen later about not being able to go two rounds without a rest in between. Slowly and carefully he slips Jensen’s arm from around him shuffles away from the heat of Jensen’s body, and misses it immediately. He has plans, though, so heads for the shower.

Twenty minutes later, having washed away the sweat and come from their first round, Colin is feeling energised, and if possible, more nervous than before. He can feel the pulse in his neck throbbing as he stands at the bottom of the bed, watching Jensen. He’s simply the most beautiful person Colin has ever seen, either in real life or in any magazines or movies.

He takes the time to appreciate the view, unknotting the towel around his own waist and slowly climbing onto the end of the bed. The sheets feel cool against his skin which is warm from the long shower he took in preparation for…this. He starts by running the back of his fingers slowly up Jensen’s calf where he has his leg angled slightly, then up his inner thigh.

He climbs fully on to the bed, leaning over his lover and placing soft kisses where his fingers were moments ago. The hairs feel rough on his tender lips, but he continues, enjoying the slight burn. He brings his hand up to Jensen’s balls and cups them gently, feeling their shape and weight. The older man doesn’t stir until Colin takes his flaccid cock into his mouth and suckles it gently. Long, slow pulls designed to wake him gradually. The contented noise Jensen makes goes straight to Colin’s dick, and with every suck of baby soft skin, both of them get harder.

It pains him to do it, but Colin pulls off gently, though he can’t resist running his tongue under the head where Jensen is most sensitive. The older man is getting closer to surfacing now, and Colin makes his way upwards, kissing Jensen’s belly and stroking the hairs there, his fingers sliding down and teasing the edge of Jensen’s pubes. With great effort he lifts his head and trails his lips across to each of Jensen’s hips, nipping slightly and listening to the sharp intake of breaths as he does. The musky smell and salty taste of Jensen’s skin is driving him crazy, and he has to fist his cock a moment to relieve the ache.

He throws his leg over Jensen’s waist, just as the man wakes enough to be aware of the situation, and Colin has to dive in for a kiss. It’s slow with lots of tongue, and Colin can’t help but tug at Jensen’s bottom lip with his teeth. He pulls away and watches as the blood rushes back into the lip, leaving it slick, rosy and even more plump.

Jensen’s hands are hot on his hips, but not as hot as his cock which Colin can feel pressing against the back of his thigh. It sends shivers down the teen’s spine and he feels his ass muscles clench. _It’s almost time_ , he thinks.

“What’s all this?” Jensen asks, his voice raspy from sleep and arousal. It makes Colin’s cock throb and jerk. He looks into Jensen’s eyes and smiles, not answering his question with words but actions. He’s starting to sweat, it’s suddenly so hot in the room…or maybe it’s just their combined heat. His heart is beating faster with anticipation and it sends an extra thrill through his whole body when he runs his hands over Jensen’s chest and feels his heart pounding, too.

Another kiss and Jensen opens his mouth to speak, but Colin’s stops him with a finger over his lips, “Shhh,” he says, his own voice just as raspy as Jensen’s, “I have a surprise for you.”

Jensen raises his eyebrow in question when Colin takes his wrist and guides the older man’s hand to his ass. He manoeuvres two of Jensen’s fingers to his hole and pushes back gently, until they breach him, “You prepped without me?”

A cold fear seeps into Colin’s skin…he’s disappointed Jensen, he’s sure of it…he should’ve waited and they should’ve done it together. The older man must read it in his face and shakes his head, “Damn, that’s hot,” then the fear is forgotten about as Jensen sits up slightly, getting better leverage and sliding his fingers further into Colin’s ass. It feels different to his own in there…it feels fuller. Jensen’s fingers are thicker than his, and that’s more evident as he gently pulls them almost out all the way, then pushes back with a little more force. This time they go in deeper and Colin bites his lip and shifts slightly against the intrusion. Jensen stills, “You OK?”

He nods, “I think so,” and rocks slightly, taking the fingers deeper. Jensen groans, and it spurs Colin on. He leans forward and takes one of Jensen’s nipples into his mouth, sucking firmly the way Jensen likes, and squeezes his inner muscles, experimentally. It still feels odd, but not unpleasant, “another,” he says, opening his legs wider.

The grip Jensen has on his hip increases, as does the older man’s breathing when he slides his fingers out, and then pushes back in with three. Colin shifts his hips, trying to find a better position but Jensen holds him in place, “just breathe,” he says softly, sliding his hand from hip to nipple and plucking it. Pleasure shoots through the teen and he moans, “that’s it, baby boy.”

Jensen is sounding breathless already and Colin realises he’s breathing hard and fast, too, “More,” he gasps, grinding his hips down on Jensen’s fingers, “more, I need your cock inside me.”

“Not until,” a faster, deeper thrust of fingers, “you’re ready,” he says, eyes almost black with lust.

“I’m ready,” Colin gasps, sounding more confident than he feels. He spent a long time stretching himself, used more lube than ever before, and he needs this to happen before he loses his courage. He lifts his hips and Jensen’s fingers slip out, leaving him feeling empty already. He clenches around nothing and feels disappointed.

He rummages around on the bed, a slight panic building when he can’t find the tube of lube he brought in, then a quiet snick sends a sense of relief through him. Jensen has it in his hand and fumbles but manages to get some out, hissing as he coats his dick with it.

“Come here,” he pants, holding his hand out to Colin. Both of them are sweating and it takes a little work to manoeuvre again so that he’s positioned over Jensen’s cock. His thighs are starting to burn already but he’s determined to control this part so he locks his jelly like legs and reaches behind him, guiding the head of Jensen’s cock to his hole and pushes back, slowly.

“Jesus,” Jensen hisses as he breaches Colin’s muscles, his hips jerking of their own accord, trying to get deeper. There’s a pained look on his face and Colin just knows that Jensen is fighting against his body, waiting for Colin to give him the go ahead.

Sweat is running down Colin’s chest now, he feels it trickle down and run onto his belly. Jensen’s chest is covered in a sheen of sweat as well, and Colin’s hands slip against it when he tries to balance himself.

_It’s now or never_ , he thinks, and angles back and down, letting some of his weight drop. There’s a burning sensation he wasn’t expecting when he feels Jensen’s cock breach him completely. He tries to relax but that _is_ uncomfortable, and he can’t help hissing through his teeth.

He can feel Jensen’s hands on his shoulder and chest, hot and clammy as he tries to calm the teen, “Hey, easy, breathe…just relax. Look at me.”

It takes great effort to open his eyes, especially as he can feel them burning with tears, “I’m OK,” he sniffles, rocking slightly and trying to adjust to the sensation. Jensen cants his hips and Colin feels like he’s trying to pull out, “NO!” he cries, sinking further back with a gasp. There’s pain but it’s not unbearable. He sees Jensen’s worried look and also his abs quivering with the effort of holding still, “just give me a sec.”

Jensen slowly sits up more, driving his cock deeper still, and pulls Colin towards his chest. The change of angle catches something inside him, something that sends throbs of pleasure down his spine and goes straight to his dick. He realises now he’d gone soft, but as Jensen moves again slightly, that sensation happens again and his dick starts to fill quickly, “What the…?” Colin gasps as he grinds his hips down.

“Prostate,” Jensen grits out, “shit, Colin, can I move? This is killing me!”

Colin widens his legs again, his knees aching as well now, and he slips down further, feeling his ass completely flush against Jensen’s hips. He feels like he might split in two, but he tenses his thighs and lifts himself a little, Jensen’s slick cock hot inside him, and he manages to relax a little.

Jensen grips both of his hips now and helps Colin rock back and forth, his own hips working in opposition, making Colin’s ass feel simultaneously full and empty each time they thrust against each other. His feet are going numb and he’s slipping on the sheets. He can’t get a grip on Jensen’s shoulders because of the sweat on his hands.

He cries out as Jensen somehow flips them, Colin feeling like he’s flying as his limbs are thrown around, before he holds on, wrapping his legs under Jensen’s ass and pulling, urging him deeper, “Oh God,” Colin gasps as they find their rhythm again, the push-pull motion, the slick slide of Jensen’s cock driving deeper and faster into his ass.

Jensen leans down and kisses Colin, but all he can do is whimper against it as they find the angle that pushes against his prostate again. He loses all track of time as they rut against each other, the slap of skin on skin getting louder and faster along with their breathing.

Colin holds on for dear life, tilting his hips and clenching his inner muscles as a heat builds through his entire body. Every time Jensen thrusts inside him, Colin feels the hot hardness of the older man’s cock, and the fullness of it. He’s a mess of sensations, sweat, panting and moaning along with Jensen.

He’s so caught up in everything, trying to process the sensations but his body just wants to keep doing what they’re doing, and his brain is starting to short circuit. He jumps, taken by surprise when Jensen moves his weight and wraps his fingers around Colin’s aching dick. The older man is panting into Colin’s shoulder, the pace of this thrusts increasing, moving them up the bed, “I’m close…wanna feel you come on my cock, baby boy, please, do it now.”

Colin can feel his mouth opening, he wants to speak, wants to form words but he’s lost the ability to. The only thing he can do is let out more grunts and moans as his body gets higher and higher from the overload he’s feeling.

“Oh Jesus...fuck… come on,” Jensen is almost pleading, stripping Colin’s cock hard and fast. It’s almost _too much_ , bordering on painful, but it’s soooo good. His body is pulled taught, all of his muscles are burning, his chest feels like there’s a heavy weight on it, and it’s _amazing_. Jensen is making sounds that are getting more and more desperate by the second, and it’s turning Colin on more that he thought possible, “God…ungh…ahh, I can’t hold back,” he sobs, slamming into Colin’s body like his life depends on it, before he’s letting out a sound that’s almost inhuman.

He stills and Colin feels the older man’s come, burning hot and sticky, flooding deep inside him. That’s what tips him over the edge, screaming Jensen’s name so loud pain rips through his throat.

§

Jensen is getting a little worried at the lack of real response from Colin. He’s slowly and carefully washing the teen under the spray of the shower, placing soft kisses over his body as he rinses the suds off. Colin has a kind of far away look in his eyes and he’s barely spoken a word since Jensen pulled him up off the bed and into the shower.

Colin winces when Jensen carefully runs the washcloth over his ass, “Sorry,” he says, “did I hurt you?”

The teen lifts his head slightly, his eye line at Jensen’s shoulder level, and he shrugs, “A little, ‘s OK.”

There’s a stab of hurt in Jensen’s chest and he pulls Colin into his body, wrapping him in a hug, “I’m so sorry, I should’ve been more careful…” he wants to tell the teen that he couldn’t hold back, that it’s like he was possessed, but he can’t bring himself to. He can’t remember ever being so turned on, but that’s no excuse. It was Colin’s first time and it should’ve been gentle and loving, not pure, unadulterated down and dirty _fucking_!

Colin hugs him back then, placing a hot kiss to the centre of Jensen’s chest, “’m OK, Jen.”

Hot tears sting his eyes, and a flutter of panic runs through him at the teen’s slurred speech, “Do you…” he swallows hard, dreading the answer, “do you need me to take you to a doctor?” Colin wobbles a little and Jensen’s arms tighten around him to keep him upright, “Shit, Colin, talk to me…” more panic, pain in Jensen’s chest…

Colin’s shoulders move up and down, and Jensen is filled with dread that the teen is crying, before he hears the sound…it’s muffled, but it’s definitely laughter. He takes Colin by the chin and looks him in the eye, relieved at the lazy smirk on his face, “n’ tell ‘im ya fucked m’ brains out?”

§

Colin’s entire body aches. He feels heavy and tired like he doesn’t ever remember being. He begged Jensen to let him spend the night, but the older man refused, quoting the promise he made to Carol, word for word...’home and in bed _alone_ by midnight’.

He doesn’t have the energy to lift his feet properly, so he shuffle walks out to Jensen’s truck and let’s himself be half lifted into the passenger seat. He feels a little bit entitled to let Jensen take care of him after the sex they just had. He never expected his first time to be so exhilarating…or as _exhausting_ , but he puts that down partly to nerves as well.

He thinks he may have snoozed on the way home because he doesn’t remember the drive…that, or Jensen really has fucked his brains out! When they arrive at the bar, there’s a commotion outside, obviously someone’s had a few too many and is mouthing off. Colin always hates that part of their life, he hates that his mom has to deal with the drunks and the asshole customers.

He feels a little more awake now, the adrenaline pumping through his system putting him back on edge, “We can go the back way in if you like?” he offers, but Jensen shakes his head.

§

Jensen hears the shouting before they pull up. In all the time he’s been going to Ford’s there’s only been two or three occasions where someone has been asked to leave because of their behaviour. Carol and her staff are pretty good at cutting people off before they get to that stage, so he has to wonder what’s gone wrong tonight.

He gets out of the truck and walks towards where a small crowd is gathered by the door. He can see that someone is trying to get in, and there are a few others – including Robbie – trying to keep him out.

Jensen sighs, if there’s any trouble while Carol’s away, he’ll never hear the end of it. He pushes forward and steps to Robbie’s side, “I’ve got this,” he tells the younger man, who looks very relieved, “what’s the story?” no way is Jensen going in unprepared, he’s not an idiot.

Robbie looks a little bewildered, “I’m not really sure, he’s ranting and raving about how he’s entitled to be here, how it’s his money that’s keeping the place open.”

“What the fuck?” Jensen’s bewildered, himself now, “OK then, let’s get this guy into a cab.”

The guy in question has his back to Jensen, and is shrugging off anyone who comes near him, “I’m tellin’ you, I paid for this fuckin’ place,” he’s slurring.

“Come on, buddy,” Jensen says loudly to make sure he’s heard, “it’s time you went home to sleep it off.”

The guy turns around so fast that Jensen has to take a step back quickly, almost crashing into Robbie, “Whoa, easy there, pal.”

“I’m not your pal,” the guy snarls, before a slight pause, then a complete change in tone of voice, “well look who it is,” the guy sing songs dramatically, “it’s Mr Pick My Battles, himself…”

Jensen’s stomach falls as he recognises the drunken asshole. Anger boils up in him immediately, and he vaguely registers that his hands have balled into fists of their own accord, “Get the fuck out, Jeff,” he growls, “you’re not welcome here.”

Jeff steps right up in Jensen’s personal space, “I’m welcome anywhere that I’ve paid for!” he spits.

Jensen stands his ground, “You didn’t pay for _anything_ , Jeff. It ceased to be _your_ money as soon as the funds entered _my_ account. Don’t make me say it again, get the fuck out of here. Go home, sleep it off.”

The small crowd has gone quiet. Jensen looks at Robbie who is obviously wondering whether it’s safe to go inside or not. The next thing Jensen knows, there’s a heavy weight slammed into his face. He loses his balance, and lands with a hard thump on the sidewalk. Pain radiates along his jaw and cheek, his neck hurts from where his head snapped back…Jeff, that fucker, has punched him!

As if in slow motion, two men from the crowd grab one of Jeff’s arms each and are holding him back from where he’s trying to get to Jensen to land another punch. He registers footsteps behind him, then through the blood pounding in his ears, he hears Colin’s worried voice.

The kid’s large hands are on his shoulders and there’s a look of shock on his face, “Jensen! Oh my God, Jensen are you alright?” He watches as Colin’s expression changes to one of anger as he pushes up from the ground, obviously going to confront Jeff.

Jensen scrambles to his feet as fast as he can, a little dizzy, he wobbles but he reaches Colin in two strides. He angles his body towards Colin, ready to protect him from Jeff’s flying fists in case he’s got loose, then stops short at the look on the teen’s face. It’s a combination of the shock and anger from moments ago, mixed with disbelief. He’s visibly shaken, and even though it’s dark, the street lights and the sign from the bar reflect the tears in his eyes.

Colin’s voice is shaky, quiet and confused, but Jensen is hears what he says as clear as day.

“What are you doing here, Dad?”


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember when you all thought Jared was gonna be the bad guy in this fic? Well I always had other ideas... ;)

Jensen is speechless. He feels totally numb, with the exception of the throbbing in his face. He looks from Colin to Jeff, and back again, hoping that he’d dreamed the last couple of minutes, but seeing the teen’s face, his shaking hands and his heaving chest, he knows it’s real.

He’s torn between wanting to pull Colin away from Jeff – from his _father_ , apparently – and see how Colin handles the situation. Jensen’s mind flashes back to that first night in the bar when Colin confronted Jared. He’d seemed so protective of Jensen, even back then, God knows how he might react now.

Jeff is blinking through his drunken stupor, as if he’s as dumbfounded by this as Jensen is. He pulls his arms free and takes a step forward, “Colin? Holy shit, come and give your ol’ dad a hug, m’boy!” he slurs.

“You’re not welcome here,” Colin says in a tone full of barely checked anger, “you need to go, right the _fuck now_!”

“Watch your language, boy,” Jeff spits, immediately raising an arm.

Jensen can see what’s going to happen and rushes forward, grabbing the bastard’s wrist seconds before the back of his hand would’ve made contact with Colin’s face. He squeezes with so much force he can feel the bone grind underneath his fingers, but he doesn’t give a shit. He’s beyond angry, bending Jeff’s wrist back as far as he dares to. He loosens his grip when Jeff roars in pain, but doesn’t let go. Instead he slams the older man up against the wall - _hard_ \- and gets up in his face, “Don’t you fucking touch him, you piece of shit…don’t you even _look_ at him!” he snarls.

Jeff’s so drunk he’s swaying on the spot despite being help up against the wall, but his mouth is still working, “Saint Jensen to the rescue!”

“Dad, just get out here, I don’t want to see you,” Jensen feels Colin’s hand on his shoulder, pulling him away from Jeff, “come on, Jen, he’s not worth it,” when Jensen makes no move, the teen steps in closer, “please, it’s late, let’s just go.”

Jeff glares at Jensen, and the younger man matches it in spades. Jensen’s angrier right now than he’s ever been in his life, which is why he has to back off before he does something he’ll regret. He steps back from Jeff but before he’s turned away, Jeff’s mouth spews more slurred, bitter words, “There you go _picking your battles_ again, Jensen,” he’s moving in closer now, “I guess defending a kid is more your style, ‘cause God forbid you’d fight for _Jared_ , you fucking _coward_!”

§ 

Colin’s almost certain he’s about to have a stroke or something, his heart’s beating so hard and quickly, he feels sick and he’s got pins and needles from the lack of circulation where he’s balled up his fists. He was terrified when he saw Jensen falling to the ground, and then to find that his dad is there in front of him for the first time in over five years…well, he just can’t believe it.

He’s furious that Jeff – he’s no longer ‘dad’ - has hurt Jensen, shocked that he’d obviously have hurt his own son if Jensen hadn’t stepped in. The words coming out of his father’s mouth are making no sense and the teen is about to put it down to him being drunk, when he calls Jensen a coward…like they’ve got history.

Colin watches Jensen freeze at Jeff’s words, looking even angrier, if it’s possible. His lover closes his eyes, visibly taking a deep breath, but from the way Jensen’s shaking, nothing is going to calm him down. The teen grabs Jensen’s jacket to pull him away, but Jensen doesn’t move.

“Do you two know each other…what’s he talking about, Jen?” he looks at Jensen’s face, but the older man refuses to look him in the eye, “How does he know about Jared?” Jensen does look at him, now, tears in his eyes, looking all kinds of hurt.

A realisation hits Colin then, square in the chest, like someone slammed a bus into him. He feels sick and he can’t breathe. He looks between the two men in shock, “He’s the one who…?” he whispers, the question directed at Jensen, but it needn’t be, the truth is obvious now.

Robbie’s voice cuts through the pounding in Colin’s head, “The police are on their way,” he’s got his hand on the teen’s back, “I’m sorry, kid, but we had to.”

§ 

The cop slurps his coffee, “We pulled his records,” he hands Jensen a Manilla folder and taps on it, “you can see he’s got a history of arrests for drunken assaults as long as your arm, but no convictions. Do you wish to press charges, Mr. Ackles?”

Jensen’s eyes flick from the cop to Colin, sat outside the room with Ellen. He looks exhausted but he insisted on coming down to the station, “No, I’d rather just forget about it.”

“I’m sorry to hear that, if you don’t press charges, we can’t do anything but send him on his way when he’s sobered up. He’s going to keep doing this, this kind of pattern only gets worse, not better,” he stares intently at Jensen, “I urge you to reconsider.”

The fluorescent lights are doing nothing to help Jensen’s headache. His eyes hurt, his bruised jaw and cheek too, and he feels as exhausted as Colin looks. He pinches the bridge of his nose, breathing slowly to keep his voice level, “I’m sorry, too,” he sighs. If the situation were different he wouldn’t hesitate, there were plenty of witnesses to Jeff’s behaviour, after all, but he can’t do that to Colin. He also can’t risk ending up in a cell next to Jeff if anyone was to dig too deep into the nature of their relationship. As far as everyone else is concerned, Jensen’s a friend of the family and that’s how they need it to stay.

There’s a knock at the door, making Jensen’s jump, “Sorry to bother you, sir, but there’s a Mr. Padalecki at the front desk asking for you.”

“Shit,” Jensen hisses, _why is Jared here_?

The cop nods, “OK thanks, I’ll be right down.”

§ 

Jared runs his hands through his hair, and waits…and waits. He’s about to ask for the fifth time what the hell’s going on – all they’d tell him is that Jeff told them to call him - when he happens to glance down one of the corridors and sees Jensen heading towards him.

He stands, wiping his suddenly sweaty palms on his jeans. Jensen is only a few feet away now and Jared’s heart flip flops in his chest when he sees the bruise forming on his ex-lover’s face. The chances of this being coincidental are slim at best.

“Jared,” Jensen says, stiffly, “I think they’ll be releasing Jeff soon. He’s in no fit state to drive so it’s probably best that you’re here.”

“What’s that got to do with me?” Jared asks, confused.

Jensen’s face hardens, “Well unless you want him throwing his fists around for a third time tonight, you’d better take him home.”

 _So I was right_ Jared thinks to himself before he speaks, “I think there’s been some kind of mix up, Jen, Jeff and I…we aren’t together.”

Jensen looks confused, “What? But I thought…”

Jared shakes his head, keeping his eyes on the floor, “It’s complicated. I…I’d rather not talk about it. Let’s just say he’s not the guy I thought he was,” he says, voice quiet even to his own ears. His heart speeds up as Jensen steps closer.

“Jared? Are you OK? Did he…” he pauses and the younger man figures he’s putting two and two together, the sharp intake of breath tells him Jensen’s got there, “Jay, did he hurt _you_?.

Hearing the concern in Jensen’s voice, combined with the use of his old nickname has tears burning in Jared’s eyes. He wants to be able to look the other man in the eye and say no, of course not. Jared’s not weak and defenceless, he’s a grown ass man and can protect himself from nasty words and angry fists, but what comes out is a hurried, “I have to go.”

§ 

Jensen watches Jared hurrying to the front desk and he almost takes a step closer, himself, before thinking better of it. Jared isn’t his boyfriend anymore, it’s not his place to pry, but he can’t help the twist in his gut at the possibility of Jared being hurt. Instead he listens to Jared’s words to the clerk, almost as quick as his footsteps, “Whatever trouble Jeff got himself into, it’s nothing to do with me… _he_ is nothing to do with me. Please don’t contact me about him again, he can rot in here for all I care.”  
Jensen lets out a long sigh and turns towards the corridor where Colin and Ellen are walking towards him. He can see the hurt and confusion in Colin’s tired features and his gut twists further, the last thing he wants is for the teen to worry any more. When they reach him, Jensen throws a comforting arm around Colin’s shoulder, pulling him into as much of an embrace as he dares in public. The heat of the teen’s large hand scrambling to squeeze his own makes him breathe a sigh of relief…at least Colin’s not brushing him off.

Ellen looks tired and stressed, her voice rough with tiredness and emotion, “Come on, kiddo, we best get you home,” she brushes strands of Colin’s hair from his forehead and Jensen tenses, hating that someone else is touching his boy instead of him, “I think I should stay with you tonight, I don’t like the thought of you there alone.”

“I can stay with him,” Jensen blurts, kicking himself at how quick he was to offer, especially when Ellen frowns, “it’s fine, I don’t mind.”

“I think that’d be better,” Colin says, puppy eyes out in force, “isn’t your babysitter passed her curfew, already? She’s probably wondering where you are…”

Jensen’s heartbeat speeds up as he watches Ellen considering the idea, and after what feels like forever, she nods, “OK, yeah, thank you.”

The teen barely manages to keep a goofy smile off his face, and Jensen feels some of the weight lift from his chest, a small smile pulling at the corners of his own lips.

§

Colin wriggles again, trying to get comfortable. He’s trying not to jostle the bed, but knows he’s failing. He can hear the annoyed exhale of Jensen’s breath as well as feeling the man’s chest rise and fall underneath him…it’s just a matter of time…

“Jesus, Colin, don’t you ever keep still?”

Colin lifts his body slightly, shifting his hips and resting his forehead on Jensen’s shoulder, “Sorry, this bed isn’t made for two, guess we need to find the right fit.”

“I can sleep on the couch, it’s OK.”

Colin’s head snaps up until he’s looking his lover in the eyes, and he tightens his grip on Jensen’s shoulder and around his waist, hoping the older man gets the message, “No, I really want you to stay,” his voice is quiet, he’s exhausted and doesn’t have the energy to raise his voice, but they’re so close he knows Jensen can hear him, “…please, I want…I _need_ to be close to you. I’ll try and keep still.”

Jensen smiles softly, pulling Colin tighter up against him and although it’s crushing his chest a little, Colin goes with it, “Somehow I think that’s impossible, Mr Fidget!”

The teen can’t help the grin that spreads across his face, “I said I’d _try_!”

“Fair point,” Jensen replies with a soft laugh.

Colin re-positions them so that Jensen is lay flat on his back, and presses up against his side, the older man’s arm around Colin’s shoulder. Jensen pulls the teen’s arm across his waist and rests his chin on top of Colin’s head where he’s using Jensen’s chest as a pillow. Once Colin’s thrown a long leg over to rest between Jensen’s, he feels himself relax, Jensen’s heat soothing him to sleep.

§

Jensen comes around very slowly, but doesn’t open his eyes, instead he takes in his surroundings using his other senses. He can feel Colin’s warmth where he’s tucked along Jensen’s body, the contrast between his own mostly naked skin and the cotton of his boxers, and Colin’s sleep pants and t-shirt. He can feel the weight of sleep heavy limbs sprawled out across his chest and hips, as well as Colin’s head on his chest.

He can smell their combined musk and the sheen of sleep sweat on both of their skins, as well as the teen’s unique warm, almost citrusy scent. He leans closer, smelling his own shampoo on Colin’s hair and takes a deeper breath, filling his lungs with the aroma. Something about the familiar scent of his brand of toiletries on Colin gives him a primal sense of ownership and his cock stirs in response.

Colin’s thigh is positioned just above Jensen’s crotch and the older man can’t help lifting his hips to rub lightly against it, sliding his hand down and tucking it under Colin’s knee to keep it in place. The movement causes Colin to stir, a contented, sleepy hum escaping from his lips as he presses his hardening cock against Jensen’s hip.

Heat and arousal spread through Jensen’s body as he rolls his hips with a little more pressure, and feels Colin do the same. They both shift their heads so that their lips meet is a slow, wet and messy kiss, gentle thrusts of their tongues keeping the sleepy feeling going.

Colin lets out a breathy moan and Jensen can’t help but suck on the teen’s bottom lip, using both of his hands to manoeuvre their bodies so that Colin’s on top of him. He puts a firm pressure on the teen’s hip, holding him in place with one hand, while the other slides up to that long neck, holding his head in place so that they can still trade kisses.

Jensen’s lost in the sensation and is a little disorientated when Colin’s movements shake the bed. The teen is propping himself up, a knee on either side of Jensen’s hips, then long, hot fingers are pulling on the waistband of Jensen’s boxers, sliding them down enough to expose his cock, before pushing his sleep pants down to do the same. The teen quickly pulls his t-shirt off, but before Jensen can appreciate the view, Colin’s leaning back down, taking his face in his hands and kissing him again. The heat, weight and pressure of Colin settling back on top of him makes Jensen’s hips buck up, pressing their hot, hard cocks closer together. Someone whines in the back of their throat - Jensen thinks it may be him but he’s not sure, and as long as Colin keeps rolling his hips _just so_ , he couldn’t give a shit.

Time seems to stand still, neither of them rushing, but inevitably both move their hips with more urgency as they chase release. Jensen’s almost taken by surprise at the force of his own orgasm, seconds after he feels the hot splash of Colin’s come over both their cocks, stomachs and chests.

“Mornin’,” Colin slurs as they both get their breath back, “you can stay over more often if that’s how you wake me up!”

Jensen huffs out a laugh, even as he’s pressing his lips back to Colin’s. Yeah, this is definitely something he could get used to.

§

Colin is in the middle of burning bacon when he hears the shower shut off, “Shit,” he curses as he burns his fingers getting the – also burned - toast out of the toaster. He thought it would be a nice idea to make them a late breakfast while Jensen took a shower, but as he eyes the bathroom door nervously, he’s wondering if it’s actually just totally lame. He wants a little more one on one time with Jensen before his mom gets back in a couple of hours…he knows he’ll have to tell her that his father was there, but for the time being, he’s pushing aside that thought.

The teen transfers the bacon onto a plate and turns the flame down under the frying pan. He flicks on the coffee machine, then turns to the eggs in front of him. He carefully breaks them into a bowl, adds a splash of milk, a good twist of black pepper and pours the mixture into the hot pan. It sizzles gently and Colin breathes a sigh of relief…finally something he’s not managed to cremate for the meal, at least.

He waits for Jensen to enter the kitchen before placing the coffee pot in the centre of the table, then bringing the plates over. Jensen looks a little surprised and Colin feels his stomach drop, “It’s kinda lame, I know, I’m not a very good cook…” he pauses when Jensen smiles and walks towards him, “I didn’t burn the eggs,” he offers, hopefully.

Jensen full on laughs then, stepping up to Colin and pressing a soft kiss to his lips. He pulls back enough so that they can focus on each other, still smiling, “You’re adorable,” he ruffles Colin’s hair before kissing him again, then turning to sit down at the table.

Colin follows Jensen’s lead, sitting down and reaching for a strip of bacon as Jensen fills their mugs with hot coffee. Neither of them speak while they eat, and Colin can’t help the warm, fuzzy feeling that’s filling his chest.

§

They’re curled up together on the couch when Jensen hears voices coming from downstairs. He rouses himself from the comfortable snooze he was enjoying and carefully slides himself out from under Colin’s body where he’s been clinging on to him since they sat down after breakfast. The teen is fast asleep and Jensen can’t bring himself to wake him, despite being able to hear Carol coming up the stairs.

He makes his way to the kitchen in time to see Carol’s thunderous expression. As she opens her mouth to speak, he raises a finger to his lips in a shushing motion, nodding his head towards to the living room, “He’s sleeping.”

He’s a little surprised when Carol’s shoulders drop, and her expression softens, “How is he?” she asks, sounding tired.

“A little shaken up, but mostly OK.” Jensen says, honestly.

Carol nods, “And you,” she asks, gesturing towards his bruised eye and cheek, “Ellen told me everything.”

Jensen’s relieved that he doesn’t need to go into details, “I’ll live,” he replies, “but I’m seriously pissed. The cops want me to press charges, but…” he leaves it open, hoping Carol will understand.

Obviously she does, “I don’t blame you, I’m sorry you had to deal with this shit!”

“You’ve got nothing to apologise for, Carol, none of this was your fault, Jeff’s an asshole, this is all on him.”

She shrugs, “I’m still sorry. Listen, Jensen,” she has tears in her eyes, now, “I appreciate you staying here for Colin, you didn’t have to do that.”

Jensen is immediately annoyed by her comment, but keeps himself in check, “Of course I did! I love him, I’ll always be here for him, no matter what. Surely you know that by now?”

Carol looks at him for a long time, and Jensen is starting to feel uncomfortable. He means what he said, he’s just not sure that Carol believes him. When she starts walking towards him with a determined look on her face, he stiffens, not sure what to make of it. He feels his heartbeat increase and his palms begin to sweat, then…then he’s being pulled into a tight hug. He doesn’t respond for a few seconds, too stunned to do anything but stand there, but then he eventually wraps his arms gently around Carol. 

§ 

Colin wakes with a shiver, his own personal hot water bottle is gone. He looks around for Jensen while he stretches, feeling his muscles pull, including the tender ones in his ass from last night’s activities. He’s about to shout out for his lover when he hears voices in the kitchen. By the time he’s walked over to the doorway, he’s met with the sight of his mom and Jensen in a hug.

Part of him feels an irrational anger that they’re sharing something so personal without him, and then he feels guilty for it. He has nothing to worry about, he has no right to feel the pang of jealousy he’s feeling, but someone else touching Jensen has that effect on him, regardless of the fact that his mom isn’t the slightest bit interested in his lover in any physical way.

“What’s going on?” he asks, voice still croaky from sleep. He moves towards the pair, mildly amused when Jensen jumps and pulls back from Carol. Colin can’t help the small smile spreading across his face at that, especially when Jensen takes a step towards him and holds out an arm, which Colin instinctively steps towards, wrapping his long arms around Jensen’s waist and laying his head on the older man’s chest, momentarily. He looks at his mom, “Guess you heard about my _shitbag father_ showing up?”

Carol frowns at his choice of words, but he doesn’t take them back, just stares at her with what he knows is a challenge on his face. He watches as her eyes drop quickly, then look back at him, “Yeah, Ellen told me. I’m going to call the police and a lawyer, we surely have grounds for a restraining order against him, now. At the very least, he’s fucking barred from this place. It’s my name up on that sign outside, not his!”

Jensen makes a slight groaning noise, “That makes sense, I didn’t put two and two together with the names.”

Colin drags himself away from Jensen to look at him, but can’t bring himself to let go completely, so he threads his fingers through the older man’s, “Yeah, mom went back to her maiden name and I did, too. I don’t want the name of a guy who walks out on his family.”

Carol smiles at that, pulling him into a tight hug, meaning he has to let go of Jensen to hug her back, “I’m so sorry, baby, I didn’t think we’d ever see him again.”

Colin pulls back and cups his mom’s face, “It’s not your fault, _he_ walked out on _us_ , we did nothing wrong,” he can’t help but ask the question that’s on his lips, even though he’s terrified of the answer, “Mom, he…he was obviously going to hit me if Jen hadn’t stopped him, so I have to ask,” he slips his hand into her hers and squeezes, “did he…did he ever hit you? I’ll kill him if he did, I swear!”

Carol’s eyes fill with tears and Colin’s heart sinks, “No baby, I swear he never did,” Colin can feel his heart thumping and his own eyes filling with tears of relief, “he was a nasty bastard when he’d had a drink, but he was all mouth. If he’d ever so much as raised a hand to me, I’d have taken you and got away.”

Jensen lets out a small sob beside him, and Colin feels both his mom and Jensen’s arms around him in a three way hug. He holds on tight and can’t help the tears that spill down his face.

 

_Six months later_

Jeff stands on the street diagonally opposite the bar… _his bar_ as far as he’s concerned, it was his cash that Jensen put into it, after all. He’s not supposed to know what happened to the money after it went into Jensen’s account, of course, but Jeff didn’t get to where he is today without some useful contacts inside the bank.

He sneers as he sees his former wife out front, laughing as Jensen and Colin are haphazardly carrying a new sign to replace the broken and shabby one that was there until half an hour ago. His anger is building the longer he stands there, watching the scene play out. The two each climb a ladder at either side of the doorway, lifting the sign as they go. Carol directs them from below as they jiggle it into place, until finally they decide it’s straight.

Jeff’s head thumps in time with his heartbeat, a bitter taste in his mouth as the three cheer when the power is turned on to light up the sign, Carol throwing an arm around each of them and pulling them in for a tight hug. His fury only increases as he sees the goofy smile on Colin’s face is reflected on Jensen’s, and he assumes the bitch is smiling, too. 

“What a nice little family unit you’ve built there,” he hisses to himself, “let’s see how strong that bond is. You fuckers think you can have me arrested and expect there not to be any consequences? Just you wait…I’ll make you _all_ pay!”


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here you have it, the end is nigh. Sorry I couldn't get it written/posted sooner, but better late than never, right? I have to say thank you for everyone who's stuck with this fic, even through the months of nothing. I appreciate it very much, and especially those who made the effort to comment. I'd like to say an extra big thank you to rieraclaelin and Emmatheslayer who have been so incredibly supportive of me and this fic. Thank you, ladies. 
> 
> Well, I hope you like it! *nervous*

_Eighteen months later_

Chris looks out across the bar from the stage. It’s early evening on a Friday, the after work crowd is thinning and it’ll be a good hour before the real crowd starts to fill the place up. His gig is scheduled to start at 8.30pm and he’s no idea what to expect, or even if anyone he knows will turn up to hear him play. He absently strums his guitar as he watches his friend work behind the bar.

Jensen is helping out to give Carol a night off, as he’s done on a regular basis the past six months now. Not that she’s actually taking a break, she’s sat in one of the booths doing the books, but at least she’s leaving Jensen to it. He’s moving around in fluid motion looking for all the world like he belongs there, effortlessly serving drinks like a pro. The customers love him, both men and women offer him their numbers and even when he politely declines, they still talk and flirt in the hopes he’ll change his mind. Chris smiles to himself as his friend ignores the ‘fuck me, right here, right now’ look the leggy blonde is giving him, Jensen’s eyes only ever landing on one person.

Colin is back and forth bussing tables and collecting the drinks Jensen’s putting on trays ready to go out to tables. The average onlooker wouldn’t notice the soft eyes and small smiles that pass between them as they interact, but Chris knows better. He knows that sooner rather than later, their hands will brush or fingers link briefly while they work, or Jensen will come from behind the bar to help with the trays and be so close to Colin that their upper arms will be touching as they walk. Chris has to hand it to them, they’ve got the casual touching in public down to a fine art, but then they’ve had two years to perfect it.

Chris startles as his text alert rings. Jared’s name flashes on the display and he feels that pang of nervousness again about how the younger man’s presence will affect Jensen’s mood, especially as it’ll be the first time they’re meeting Jared’s new guy.

_Jared: Ten mins away & have something important to show you all_

The nerves increase at that and Chris frowns while he types his reply.

_Me: WTF’s going on, man? Jen’s fine with you coming but nobody wants any trouble…_

_Jared: No trouble, we got celebrating to do!_

“Something wrong there, handsome?” Carol asks, laughing when Chris jumps. She holds her hands up in surrender, “Sorry, sweetheart, you looked like you were trying to shoot laser beams out of your eyes. I didn’t mean to make you jump.”

Chris relaxes, but still feels a little worried, “It’s OK, I guess I’m a little jumpy in general. Kinda nervous about tonight…it’s a long time since I’ve played for anyone outside of my living room. Jared’s on his way, too, says he has something important to show us.”

“Oh?” Carol doesn’t wait for an answer, instead stepping closer to the stage and leans in to give him a quick kiss on each cheek, then a lingering one on his lips “For luck!” she says with a wink, leaving Chris to groan softly.

 

§

Jensen’s watching Colin deliver drinks to the table closest to the bar, more specifically watching his ass, but whatever. He’s looking forward to tonight on several counts, only one of them selfish. Firstly, he’s pretty certain Colin’s going to jump him the first chance he gets, if the heated looks he’s been throwing Jensen the past couple of hours are any indication.

Secondly, he’s finally getting Chris back on stage, where he belongs. He knows he has Carol to thank for sealing the deal with giving him free beer during and after his set. Jensen’s trying not to think about what else he’s going to get from her tonight, but since Chris told him not to come home tonight, it’s pretty obvious they’re taking the next step in their own relationship. That was a surprise to everyone, but they seem to be making it work.

The third reason is that he’s both curious and a little nervous about Jared turning up with his new beau. While it would be a stretch to say that Jensen and Jared have become friends, they’ve both moved on with their lives and although they’re over as a couple, they have mutual friends and so keep it civil. Jensen still cares for Jared and wants to see him happy. Best of all, Colin understands that, now. He still gets a little jealous on occasion, but Jensen can’t complain, the sex is always fantastic when Colin gets all possessive.

§

Jared walks through the door of Ford’s with a spring in his step. He sees Jensen behind the bar, attention firmly on Colin’s ass, so he has to wave a hand in front of his ex’s face to get his attention, “Hey, get your mind out of the gutter,” he jokes, a bark of laughter coming from his throat when Jensen comes back to reality with a blink and a blush covering his entire face and neck, “plenty of time for that, later!”

“Glad you made it, Jay,” Chris says with a nervous smile on his face.

Jared smiles and claps his friend on the shoulder, “It’s all good man, don’t look so worried.”

“Where’s the guest of honour,” Colin asks as he and Carol approach the bar, looking towards the door.

Jared rolls his eyes, “He’s coming later, jeez, you’re like a pack of wolves,” he wags a long finger at all of them, “y’all need to be nice, don’t go scaring him away, OK?” He doesn’t miss the mischievous smirk on Colin’s face, but pays it no mind, “Anyway, who’s seen the paper?”

§

Colin frowns as Jared throws the paper onto the bar with a flourish, a beaming smile on his face as he’s stabbing repeatedly at the story at the bottom of the front page. As the teen starts to read, his heart drops, his pulse throbbing at his temples and he feels his throat tighten as he fights back tears. 

“What is it?” Carol asks, pulling him towards her, the worry clear in her voice.

Colin clears his throat before sliding the paper closer to her, pointing at the headline reading ‘Vicious crime lord jailed for 33 years’. He reads the words again at the same time as his mom.

_Local crime lord and thug Jeffrey Dean Morgan, 46, was today jailed for a total of 33 years on charges of the production and supply of illegal substances, money laundering, tax evasion and assault, including threatening a minor who is believed to be his own son._

_Morgan owned a small chain of gymnasiums across Texas, through which authorities discovered he was laundering the proceeds of large scale sales of steroids and amphetamines, as well as smaller scale sales of heroin and cocaine._

_During the trial, 12 victims gave evidence against Morgan, telling of his frequent drink and drug fuelled attacks, which were of both verbal and physical in nature. Each believes there were more victims who haven’t come forward._

_Morgan will serve a minimum of 21 years. After sentencing, Morgan’s legal representation declined to comment.’_

§

Jensen is gobsmacked. When he, Colin, Jared and Robbie had been approached by the police, none had really wanted to give statements. The cop had been tenacious, though, and they’d all agreed to it based on the fact other people were now pressing assault charges. Theirs was to be supporting evidence, and none of them were likely to have to go to court, based on their relatively minor run in with Jeff, compared to some of the others.

“I can’t believe it,” Jensen looks at Colin, who looks shocked but pleased, then at Jared, “did you know anything about the drugs?”

Jared shakes his head so hard his hair flops into his face, “Not a clue, I never saw a thing. He said his money came from ‘hard work and good business sense’!”

“Fuck him,” Carol says, “good riddance to bad rubbish! Jensen, grab a bottle of champagne, let’s toast to him getting what he deserves.”

§

Chris is mid-song, loving the feeling of singing in front of people again, when Jared makes his way to the front of the small crowd that's gathered at the stage. Jared is pulling someone with him and when they eventually stand in front of Chris, he almost stops singing. The man Jared has his arm thrown around is more than a little familiar. Chris feels his stomach clench a little but manages to carry on, regardless. He closes his eyes and finishes his set, trying to ignore everyone else.

After he’s finished his last song, Chris climbs down from the stage, taking Jared’s hand when he reaches up to help. The grin is now even bigger on his face and Chris feels a sense of foreboding as he’s introduced to the new man he's been hearing about for weeks now.

“Great set, man,” Jared says with a firm slap on the back. He turns back to the other man and with a beaming smile, says, “Chris, this is who I’ve been telling you about. Meet Dean.”

The older man shakes Dean's hand, feeling a little like he’s the victim of a practical joke, “Uh, pleased to meet you...I feel like,” he flicks his eyes to Jared, hoping his expression doesn’t show too much confusion, “I feel like I already know you!”

Dean frowns and turns to glance briefly at Jensen, Colin and Carol, “People keep saying that!” he says with a combination of a nervous and confused laugh, “maybe I just remind you of someone.”

 _No shit, Sherlock!_ Chris thinks, watching as Jared links his fingers with the man who looks so like Jensen, Chris can’t believe Jared hasn’t noticed it! They look happy enough, so he just shrugs, “Yeah, that must be it,” he replies, before heading to the bar for a beer. 

§

Although it’s probably been an hour at most, it feels like an age between the bar closing and Colin finally locking the door after his mom and Chris head out. He’s had the low buzz of arousal running through him all night, but the decisive click of that final lock means that they’re truly alone and Colin’s cock is instantly hard. Before he knows it, he’s pressed up against Jensen’s back, his hands roaming the man’s broad chest and grinding his cock against Jensen’s ass.

“I want you,” Colin groans, as Jensen shifts his hips and pushes his ass closer to the teen.

Jensen turns in the bracket of Colin’s arms, slipping a hand around his waist and pulling him flush against his body, “I couldn’t tell,” he smirks, rocking his hips firmly against Colin’s own. The pressure makes Colin moan, his arousal ramped up by the physical contact he’s be aching for all night, and the surprise he has for him. He has no choice but to kiss that smirk off his lover’s face. He barely has to lift his head anymore, pressing an urgent, sloppy kiss to the lips that drive him wild. 

Jensen kisses back just as fiercely, wasting no time slipping his tongue into Colin’s mouth and the teen sucks on it, hungrily. Jensen pulls away to breathe, but Colin’s having none of it, pulling him back into the kiss as soon as they’ve both gulped in some air. He can feel the heat coming off Jensen, and combined with his own body heat, it’s making Colin sweat. With a groan, he breaks the kiss to hastily tug his t-shirt off, before pulling at the bottom of Jensen’s…he needs to feel the older man’s bare skin on his _now_ , “C’mon Jen,” he pants into Jensen’s neck, kissing and sucking at the hot skin there. 

Jensen chuckles, pulling Colin’s hand from the front of his jeans – Colin hadn’t even realised he’d be squeezing Jensen’s dick until then – and resting his other hand on the teen’s chest. Colin feels himself being gently pushed away from Jensen’s body, and grabs a shoulder to try and keep contact, but the older man just pushes a little more insistently, “C’mon, eager beaver, I made you a promise.”

Colin vaguely registers being pulled towards the back of the bar towards the pools tables. His whole body is on fire even though they’ve barely done anything yet, and his jeans are too tight where they’re trapping his cock. He reaches for Jensen’s face once the older man all but slams him up against one of the tables, but Colin’s hands are left in mid-air as Jensen drops to his knees, so he grabs onto the table behind him, instead. He wobbles slightly as Jensen tugs this way and that, getting Colin’s jeans and boxers down as quickly as he can, and even through his lust Colin manages to huff out a laugh, “And you call me eager.”

“Shut the fuck up,” Jensen pants as he finally grips Colin’s cock. His hand is clammy and perfect, and Colin can’t help bucking into it, groaning at the sensation, “stop!” Jensen says sharply, and it’s a command, not a request. Colin’s breath catches and his dick twitches…he has to obey, and with great difficulty he holds still. He looks down at Jensen and groans. His face and neck are flushed, a fine sheen of sweat’s forming in the hollow of his throat that Colin just wants to lick. 

“Bossy,” Colin rasps, hearing how thick his voice is with want.

“Like I said, I made you a promise that next time we were alone here…” he pumps Colin’s dick firmly but slowly, moaning softly as he does.

Colin’s so focussed on the pleasure he’s feeling already that it takes a while for Jensen’s words to register. He opens his eyes and looks around the room, “This is…” he pants, swallowing hard, “this is where we first…where I blew you that first night.”

Jensen’s “Uh huh,” vibrates around Colin’s dick as he slides his lips down without hesitation and Colin hears dual groans as they both get what they want. Colin does his best not to fuck into Jensen’s mouth, but it’s so hot and slick and _perfect_ that he can’t hold back for long. Jensen knows just the right amount of pressure, the right amount of suction and the right speed to bring Colin off quickly, but that’s not what the teen wants right now.

“Jen,” he pants, one hand on Jensen’s head, the other on his shoulder, “not yet.” It’s a close call, Colin’s whole body trembling and going tense all at once, his lungs burning with the effort to get enough air into them. Finally, Jensen eases up, sucking slower and slower, then pulling off and licking up and down Colin’s cock, moaning like it’s the best damn thing he’s ever tasted. 

Colin hears Jensen’s heavy breaths in tandem with his as he gets himself under control as Jensen pulls the teen’s jeans, boxers, shoes and socks off before ridding himself of his own clothing. The older man’s lips are slick, hot and swollen when they press against Colin’s again, and the teen groans when bolts of pleasure shoot through his whole body, his cock jerking when Jensen bites on his bottom lip. Jensen’s hands are everywhere, sliding over Colin’s chest, his neck, ass and thighs as though he doesn’t know where he wants to touch, so settles for everywhere at once. His palms are like a brand everywhere they touch and Colin shivers, letting out a whimper as he does.

Jensen looks at him then, his chest heaving almost as much as Colin’s. His pupils are almost entirely black and lust blown, his hair messy from the combination of Colin tugging on it – though he doesn’t remember doing it – and Jensen’s sweat making it stick to his forehead. He looks fucked out already, and Colin knows his lover is just as desperate as he is, now.

It fills Colin with an immense sense of power and pride that he can do that to Jensen. For a long time, he felt so young and embarrassed by how badly he wanted Jensen, how needy the man made him. Now he understands that age doesn’t factor into it, and anyway, which seventeen year old isn’t needy? Jensen wants Colin just as much as Colin wants him, he just has better self control, that’s all, but at times like this, with Jensen’s lips and hands all over him, the teen makes it his mission to make that self control snap. And he knows just how to do it.

Very slowly and deliberately he pushes himself up onto the pool table, the wood edging cold on his bare ass. He’s still shaking and it’s taking every bit of his own self control to keep his movements slow and not just beg Jensen’s to fuck him. Instead he sucks in a few calming breaths, feeling the clammy air fill his lungs. He leans back on his elbows, keeping his eyes locked on Jensen’s, and lifts one leg up to the edge of the table. He lets his knee drop to the side slightly, then spreads his legs a little wider. His pulse speeds up as he sees Jensen’s eyes go even darker, taking in his position, and Colin puts on his best sultry look, biting his lower lip before making his own demand, “C’mon Jen, fuck me.”

 

§

Jensen’s pulse is thundering through his ears, his mouth is dry and he’s feeling a little light headed. He can feel his chest heaving, trying to draw in the correct amount of oxygen, but he’s dizzy with it, or maybe he’s just dizzy with lust. His cock was hard before, but seeing Colin spread out so invitingly just for him, it’s an almost painful aching he feels. He feels like he’s going to burst into flames if he doesn’t get inside Colin, soon. He still has no idea how it’s possible to want the teen so much all the time. He physically can’t get enough of Colin…one taste and he was addicted, one touch and he couldn’t tear himself away, no matter how much he knew he should. But now he doesn’t have to.

He forces himself to approach the table slowly, even though he wants to throw himself onto it and Colin, and slides his hand around the ankle of the leg Colin’s got resting on the edge of it. Jensen can feel that he himself is hot, but Colin’s hotter, the heat seeping into his hand as he slides it further up Colin’s leg. As he reaches the teen’s inner thigh he can feel the muscles trembling under his hand, and he huffs out a breath of relief. Colin’s just as worked up as he is, and that makes Jensen’s cock twitch and ache even more. 

Without looking down, Jensen eases Colin’s legs open, and hooks one ankle around his own waist, feeling the heat of Colin’s inner thighs on both sides of him now. He leans down and takes Colin’s lips in a heated kiss, fast and sloppy because they’re both panting. He runs both hands over the teen’s chest, pinching both nipples at the same time and feeling another burst of arousal run through him at Colin’s reaction. He somehow inhales a sharp hiss and lets out a groan at the same time, arching his back and tightening his legs around Jensen, “So sensitive…” he kisses just above Colin’s belly button, the teen’s leaking cock leaving a sticky trail over Jensen’s chin, “so gorgeous,” he runs a hand underneath Colin’s balls, teasing further back, expecting to feel Colin’s hot hole, but instead hits something hard and cool. 

He lifts off Colin’s body, slides a hand under each of Colin’s knees and raises them until he can see, “Jesus, Colin,” he says, the words coming out harsh as his lust spikes further, “a butt plug, seriously?” 

Colin laughs slightly, “Didn’t think we’d be able to wait so I started us off,” he groans as Jensen grabs the end of the plug and twists it slightly.

“When did you…?” Jensen starts, too mesmerised by the sight of the plug moving in and out of Colin’s body, his mouth going dry as he angles it just right and Colin mewls as it hits his prostate. Jensen tears his eyes away from it with great difficulty and looks at Colin’s face. He’s sweating more now, a drop running down his temple, hair sticking to his damp forehead.

“Hours ago,” Colin pants, “God Jensen, _come on_ , I need you inside me!” he shudders as Jensen twists the plug again before slowly pulling it out, replacing it immediately with three fingers. Colin promptly digs his heels into the table, bearing down hot and tight on Jensen’s fingers, and that’s it, he can’t wait any longer.

“You’re going to kill me,” Jensen grits out as he lines himself up, “please tell me you’re ready…” he’s shaking from the effort of holding back, all his body wants to do is push into Colin and fuck him hard and fast.

“Beyond….ready…” the teens pants, and that’s enough, Jensen pushes into that tight heat, and groans as Colin squeezes around him, “c’mon, Jen, hard as you can…wanna feel it.”

Jensen lets out a sound that is dangerously close to a whimper, throws one of Colin’s mile long legs over his shoulder and lets his body take over, giving them what they both want. He can hear the slap of skin on skin, both of their moans and grunts and it drives him on, faster and harder. Colin’s cock is like fire when Jensen takes it into his fist, and he pumps in time with his thrusts. Colin is shaking and almost sobbing with the need to come, “Let go, baby boy, _please_ ,” Jensen manages to beg through rattling teeth as he slams into Colin even harder. Colin complies, pulsing in Jensen’s hand, clamping his muscles tight around Jensen’s cock, and the older man can’t hold back. He feels his hands slip through the sweat on Colin’s legs as he grips tighter, pushing as far into the young body as he can before he comes with a primal roar, each spurt almost painful but soooo good. 

He’s not sure how long he lays partially on top of Colin, desperately trying to gulp air into his lungs, while trying to stand on jelly legs. Colin’s chest is heaving under his head and through his post orgasmic haze, he manages to lift his head and look at Colin. The teen’s head wobbles as if he’s having trouble holding it up, but through his panting, he’s giving Jensen one of those beaming smiles that makes the older man weak at the knees at the best of times. He’s covered in sweat and come, he looks thoroughly fucked out, and if it was possible, Jensen falls in love just a little bit more.

Colin’s hand is reaching down towards him and with great effort, Jensen lifts his arm to link their fingers together. They’re both too blissed out and breathless to speak, but the firm squeeze of their hands says it for them. It means “that was awesome” and “I love you” all at the same time.

§

_Colin’s eighteenth birthday_

Chris laughs out loud at Jensen’s shaking hands as he eventually gets the key into the lock. “This isn’t funny,” Jensen snaps, which only makes Chris laugh harder, only proving the point that this is hilarious, “you’re an asshole.” 

Chris hangs behind, still chuckling to himself as Jensen walks into the apartment he’s bought for himself and Colin. How he’s managed to keep it a secret for weeks, Chris will never know. He watches as Jensen looks around, nervously checking everything for what must be the hundredth time today. He wants everything to be perfect, and he’s freaking out.

“Jen, he’s going to love it,” Chris assures him, placing a firm hand on his shoulder to reinforce the words. His heart aches a little at the still nervous look on Jensen’s face. He moves to stand in front of the other man, hands on each shoulder until Jensen’s looking him in the eye, “will you _stop worrying_ , it’s gonna be fine. You don’t have hide from the world, anymore, Jen.” 

Jensen offers half a smile, which Chris knows is the best he’s going to get for now.

A few hours later, the small party is in full swing. There are at least ten other people in the room, but Jensen and Colin haven’t taken their eyes off each other all night, and judging by how happy and relaxed they both look, they never will.

* * * FIN * * *


End file.
